-- Posted by Hggh7 at 4:46 pm on Nov. 24, 2008 Ive been going to the psychatrist so that he could counsel me on how to become more social and make up for the years I missed out on in middle school and 3 years of high school due to shyness. But its not working. 1st he told me to go ask someone to go ask someone to go do something, saying that I had a 50/50 percent chance of a yes. But there isn't anyone that is "close" enough to me to want to carry a conversation that would lead to me asking let alone to want to do something with me. I went back and of course he was dissapointed, I told him what had happened and he said I still need to do it to continue on. He asked me where teens hang out expecting the shy guy to know...seriously. And so now I have to find out what there is to do for people my age(17). Hell I just learned that I can go into a Sports Bar/ and Grill. I figured because it had the word bar, those under 21 couldn't enter, not that it doesn't stop some idiots from drinking. I'm afraid that in 3 weeks nothing is going to happen AGAIN and he is going to be even more pissed. -- Posted by medjai at 4:52 pm on Nov. 24, 2008 He might be disappointed but he's your psychiatrist and he shouldn't be angry. Have you joined any extra curricular activities or school sports? That's a really easy way to integrate into a social environment. Remember, your friends don't have to be the 'cool' kids to still count as friends. You can join band and be friends with the weird funny kids in band and that's still social networking. If you put in the effort, you'll find that it's not as hard as you think to ask someone to ask someone to do something. I'd just go ask someone to give me a cigarette. The reason he's having you do this exercise is very obviously to help you get over the classic 'fear of rejection.' Once you realize that it doesn't matter if people reject you because as long as you keep making the attempt, many other people won't, social progress becomes much easier. It's just like dating, who gives a flying fuck if a girl says no, odds are you can get a hotter girl than her to say yes and it's her loss anyway. Don't give up, and don't worry about your psychiatrist's opinion of you, he's a paid servant his job is to help you with your social issues, he's not better than you, he's a hired hand. Don't glamorize the man into something he's not. He's a man you/your parents hired to help you, period. That means he doesn't get to be "angry" with you. -- Posted by Hggh7 at 4:55 pm on Nov. 24, 2008 Well, I was in football untill it got stupid and I am in Orchestra but it defeats the purpose if I am making friends with people I kinda know. -- Posted by iconoclast at 6:51 pm on Nov. 24, 2008 Well honestly, I don't know why you're seeing a psychiatrist instead of a therapist, usually psychiatrists dole out the drugs while therapists do the advice. Even with that, they often have little idea how to relate to a person's individual situation because they've never been marginalized like that most of the time. I had really nasty shyness for awhile but I got over it just by forcing myself to socialize and changing schools after the harassment didn't stop even after I changed. The key is to "go for it" enough to get your feet wet but not enough to fall off the deep end, if you go full blast into something uncomfortable it will fuck you up. I tried that a few times and it messed up, but I just started socializing mildly and it went from there. Oh, and going to the gym a lot helped. Wouldn't recommend taking fitness advice from the morons though. Fucked my shoulder up : ( -- Posted by medjai at 7:57 pm on Nov. 24, 2008 If anyone needs fitness advice ask me or even better ask Tkster if he's still around. Making friends with people in your club leads to making friends outside your club because you will meet your friends friends and what prisoner is saying is pretty smart as well. Ultimately you go for it without caring, with every success you will gain more confidence till you become a standard socialite. -- Posted by largeMarc at 8:03 pm on Nov. 24, 2008 I am..or used to be just like you. This may sound like a bad solution, but I only had 1 real friend..and I went with him to some house parties every weekend since he convinced me. I would get drunk and ended up meeting a lot of people since I was more outgoing and more of myself really. Now I know a lot of people and no..I don't have to be drunk to hang with them, I'm comfortable with them now. -- Posted by Hggh7 at 8:06 pm on Nov. 24, 2008 Quote: from largeMarc at 10:03 pm on Nov. 24, 2008 I am..or used to be just like you. This may sound like a bad solution, but I only had 1 real friend..and I went with him to some house parties every weekend since he convinced me. I would get drunk and ended up meeting a lot of people since I was more outgoing and more of myself really. Now I know a lot of people and no..I don't have to be drunk to hang with them, I'm comfortable with them now.   Sorry, but I don't have friends.. -- Posted by medjai at 8:10 pm on Nov. 24, 2008 Then start with your orchestra group. -- Posted by largeMarc at 8:15 pm on Nov. 24, 2008 I see..I guess I was a little luckier that I still had some kids I talked to from grade school when I wasn't as shy. Do you work somewhere with people your age? And don't worry about your therapist being angry..he shouldn't be, I'm a psychology major and have gone through what you are going through...and he should know how difficult a task it would be for you to ask a random person to do something with you. The only advice I can give to you is...when you go to college, make sure to dorm..it's a great way to meet people. -- Posted by Hggh7 at 8:20 pm on Nov. 24, 2008 I had a summer job but I was the one who worked the night shift. and as for the orchestra group, most of them don't like me, trust me I tried there first. -- Posted by iconoclast at 9:00 pm on Nov. 24, 2008 If you really do have a terrible reputation, build up your confidence and TRY to socialize first, then switch schools if you can. The reason I say first is so you are accepted more at the new school and aren't just thrown in there out of nowhere with no social skills. -- Posted by aaronscorner at 12:02 am on Nov. 25, 2008 woah now. He's a horrible therapist if he gets mad at you. Talk to someone in the next town. you'll prolly never see them again, and you'll get social experience. -- Posted by Hggh7 at 12:14 pm on Nov. 26, 2008 Quote: from prisoner of hss at 11:00 pm on Nov. 24, 2008 If you really do have a terrible reputation, build up your confidence and TRY to socialize first, then switch schools if you can. The reason I say first is so you are accepted more at the new school and aren't just thrown in there out of nowhere with no social skills. I don't have a bad reputation. I don't have one at all. Nobody knows me and sticks to their friends rather than being receptive to new ones. Also why would I switch high schools in the middles of my senior year. Might as well stick it out. Quote: from aaronscorner at 2:02 am on Nov. 25, 2008 woah now. He's a horrible therapist if he gets mad at you. Talk to someone in the next town. you'll prolly never see them again, and you'll get social experience. What would I be doing in the next town? If I can't strike up a conversation with the ones in my town how the hell will I do it with one over? -- Posted by iconoclast at 11:42 am on Nov. 27, 2008 well then it will be a lot easier, if you have a bad reputation its killer but if youre just not noticed then its easier to make friends, much much easier