-- Posted by Anonymous at 9:40 pm on Nov. 29, 2008 I wanna change, i mean i'm really not a mean person. but my boyfriend is just so so nice. and i wanna be as nice as he is. What are some ways to be a good person/ improve my listening skills when friends need help & shit like that u know what i'm talkin bout. -- Posted by audrey820 at 12:51 pm on Dec. 1, 2008 First off, I have to say congrats on having the motivation to change. A lot of us are unaware of our flaws or don't bother trying to improve. You should be proud of yourself for this. I feel as though there's hope for you, surely. And a huge part of it is to be aware of what you're presenting to others. Making a conscious effort to notice what you're doing when you hang out with others. Then just try to relax when around people and show others how you feel, that you do care and want to help. If you think you're having a problem showing your boyfriend your emotions, express them with words. Make sure he knows that you appreciate having them in your life. He won't know how much you care if you don't let him in and show him. Make sure you're letting him know what's on your mind. Try to keep track of what you're saying and every once in a while express your appreciation for having him there for you. The little moments of telling someone you care...those mean more than you know. :) As far as friends go, it may be about concentrating. We all tend to get wrapped up in our own lives. Then we don't realize that we're shutting others out and ignoring others because we're lost in our own minds. When a friend talks, make yourself pay attention to what is being said instead of letting your mind wander. And ask questions. That will both show your friend that you're listening and help keep you interested in what is being said. It's about keeping track of yourself and making an effort to change. Which then will hopefully lead to new, better habits when interacting with people. you can break free and share more of yourself if you're willing to make the effort. You aren't a bad person at all now though. So try not to see yourself that way. We all struggle with different things. Having room to improve doesn't mean that you're a bad person. It's just one of your things. :) Good luck! Don't give up on yourself though. It may take practice to break some of those bad habits, but it can be done.