-- Posted by Anonymous at 6:39 pm on Dec. 1, 2008 I've had a lot of things happen to me these last few years and ive handled it all pretty well. It was just a lot of stuff with my mom and some of her drug problems - it all really messed with my head. This isn't part of the issue i'm having now but i should probably give some background before i get into it. My mother and father got divorced when i was really young -5 or 6 maybe- so i don't really remember it, but my mom woulg get sick a lot and had to take all sorts of weird medicines that made her act strange. I always knew there was something wrong about the way she slurred and passed out but I was so little i just thought that that was how things were. She would try to get money out of my dad by playing on my loyalties and telling me to tell my dad i didnt love him. It broke my heart because now my dad is the greatest man i'll ever meet and my absolute hero. Anyway, I'd developed some social issues and when I was ten I started having pretty severe panic attacks. I had to call the ambulence a couple of times and my dad took me to therapy. After a while i broke down and told my dad eveything. There was a big scene for a couple of months where i had to mentally and emotionally separate myself from my mom and I've lived with my dad ever sinse. I'm fourteen now and people tell me i'm mature but lately i feel just very... numb. Living with my dad, i move around alot - alot meaning as in a new city every year for the past three years. The first time I moved it was really hard and I was pretty hysterical even though I didn't have any friends there, but after that, all of my emotional problems stabalized and I've been fine ever sinse. The second time I moved with my dad was to a bigger city and for the first time i made a best friend. She was probably the best person I've ever met and I loved her a lot, but then when I had to move again, it was so easy to let go. I stopped returning her phonecalls a couple of weeks after i was gone and i havent talked to anyone from my old schools. I should feel guilty, but i don't and it bothers me. I haven't spoken to my mom in months and I don't answer her letters. I don't miss them. Is there something wrong with me? -- Posted by Annastasia at 2:13 pm on Dec. 4, 2008 Hi there, First off, I'm sorry you haven't gotten a reply until now! Ill do my best to provide some insights/help. =) Second, I can understand where you are coming from in terms of moving a lot. I've moved 11 times in my life already. I think you might be going through something I went through when I moved a lot, and that was making sure I didn't form too close of bonds with people, because chances were I was going to move away from them. And if we weren't super close friends, it was that much easier to let go, and it saved me that much more pain. I think it was a way for me to cope, and you might be doing something similar, even though it may be subconscious. I also think that since you've had some let downs in the past, and coped with them pretty well, you're a strong person and you're just finding these things easier. It doesn't mean you're a bad person. I don't find some things as upsetting as most people do, and I attribute it to all that I had to deal with as a child. It could be the same for you. I also think it's hard to move when you're in the teenage years, because you are starting high school, and sometimes pressure and stress can build up, and that can just make you feel numb as well. I go through periods like that still. Plus you've had quite a lot to deal with in your past which can just contribute. In terms of you feeling guilty, I think it's normal to try to move on and concentrate on building up your new life. It's the here and now for you, and it's what is most important. However, there is nothing to say that you can't keep a little contact with your old life. I'd especially try to make some contact with your mother, even though I am guessing you have a lot of resentment or anger towards her. Even if you guys just talk once a week, or a few times a month, I think it would be nice, and probably in the end beneficial, to have some contact. Maybe call your friend once in a while too. Sometimes it is better to make an effort on these things, even if you don't want to - just for the other person. I hope this helps you a bit, and if you ever want to talk, feel free to PM me, okay? Take care. =)