-- Posted by The Dark Prince at 3:16 pm on Dec. 8, 2008 In October my little brother took sick and was eventually admitted to the Pediatric ICU of the hospital for a few days. After this he was diagnosed with Insulin Dependent diabetes. Last few weeks he has been really misbehaving. Throwing some serious tantrums, throwing things at my mom, telling her some very mean things, and no matter what I say to him he just would not behave any better. It hurts me to see my mom treated like this by anyone far less her 9 year old son who is sick. My mom basically spends all of her money on him and her time. By the time she is finished dealing with him she is rather tired and therefore cannot enjoy her life. I know there have been times where I have been rude and dis-obedient but not on a daily basis like him and it just hurts me to see that she has to do all of this on her own with little to no help from his father. His father came for him a few weekends after he came out of the hospital but has come for him since and therefore my mother is left with most of the burden. I help her out where I can, but I go to school full time and work part time, and quite frankly I am never home. I have been planning on getting him an ipod nano for Christmas but at this rate with his bad behaviour I and starting to think twice about wasting my very hard earned money on him when I do not think he deserves it. So I need some help as far as the ipod goes, should I get it personalised or should I just get it normal so if his behaviour does not improve I can just sell it. I have decided that I may buy it but he won't get it until I see some improvement in his behaviour, I refuse to reward him for his bad behaviour.   This situation is really stressing me out and I need some help. EDIT: If you are only going to reply to the ipod part please don't post. Thank you in advance for not wasting both your time and mines. -- Posted by Jman19 at 3:17 pm on Dec. 8, 2008 Get it normal so that you can sell it if his behaviour doesn't improve. -- Posted by LipsOfDeceit at 3:24 pm on Dec. 8, 2008 Get a normal one so it can always be sold if you need to. -- Posted by kelley187 at 3:26 pm on Dec. 8, 2008 normal and if u give it to him, tell him you'll get it personalized if he keeps up the good behavior -- Posted by The Dark Prince at 3:28 pm on Dec. 8, 2008 Thanks for your input on the ipod part but lets focus on the rest. -- Posted by Jman19 at 3:35 pm on Dec. 8, 2008 Well, his diabetes could well be affecting his behaviour. My friend's brother was diagnosed with insulin dependent diabetes at about the same age as yours, and his behaviour was horrid for a few months. When they eventually got into the whole routine of giving him the right amount of insulin at appropriate times, his behaviour dramatically improved, and with his diabetes under control, it has stayed that way. Your brother should have a specialist doctor of some sort. Ask your mum to ask the specialist about how his diabetes can affect his behaviour. EDIT: Just one more thing, diet is also linked to behaviour, so that is also something to look into. Making changes to his diet may lead to improvement in his behaviour. -- Posted by The Dark Prince at 3:59 pm on Dec. 8, 2008 Well he is currently seeing a doctor with a specialty in Pediatric Diabetes and a Psychologist. I hope that his behaviour improves because he is seriously stressing my mom out and he keeps forgetting his blood sugar monitor or insulin at school. -- Posted by LoveKay at 4:06 pm on Dec. 8, 2008 He wouldn't be the first kid to act this way. I'm sorry to say, but your mom obviously does not discipline him well enough. Discipline means alot especially for younger children. Your mom needs to get some help and advice on what to do about her child if so far, nothing has affected his behavior. She might not like the idea, considering moms like to be all knowing when it comes to their kids. But there is apparently something that she is doing, or perhaps not doing. She needs to punish him and not withhold the punishment until it's done with. He needs to begin associating bad behavior with something else bad such as spanking or having to sit in his room without television for a certain period of time. It's called conditioning. It's not just your little brother who's such a butthole, but your mom needs to do something else with him. -- Posted by MariJani at 9:24 am on Dec. 9, 2008 Hey,  that's terrible that your brother got sick, I'm really sorry to hear that.  Nobody wants to see a family member of theirs have to be subjected to daily medication, much less a child.  With that being said, it must be insanely hard for you to deal with him being so bad to your mom.  One of the biggest mistakes that we, as siblings, make is take responsibility for our other siblings action.  We tend to feel sorry for our parents when our brother or sister does something bad.  While this is a very empathetic gesture, it's not something that is productive.  Feeling bad for your mom is getting you nowhere.  All it is doing is making you unhappy, and possibly your mother unhappy if she is noticing.  Now, I don't think you should be completely apathetic to the situation, however I do think that you should try and do something rather than taking a back seat. Keep in mind that it is not your responsibility to make him behave, but there are a few things that you could probably do to make your homelife a little better.  I would suggest talking to him.  Don't yell, don't be mean, just simply sit him down and have a friendly brotherly chat with him.  During this conversation I would have the ipod near you, and I would explain to him that, that is what he is going to get for chirstmas.  However, tell him that there are special circumstances with this Ipod.  Make sure he realizes that you are giving him this under the assumption that his behavior is going to change, and that he is going to respect your mom more.  Also, be sure to touch on the fact that you will be able to take this Ipod away from him whenever you feel he is going back to his old ways.  You are giving this to him under the circumstances that he's going to behave, if he doesn't hold up his end of the deal then you have every right to take it away until he modifies his behavior again.   All in all, if you don't feel comfortable doing something like that, then that's perfectly okay too.  As I have stated earlier, it is not your responsibility to make him behave, however, don't just sit there and pity your mother either.  This agreement that you could have with the ipod thing has a pretty good potential to work out, and even if it doesn't, your mom will sure appreciate the effort you are putting into making her life a little easier.  Just keep in mind that with one of her sons being not so nice to her, it's probably very important to her to feel some love from you.  Don't get so preoccupied with what your brother is doing, and be sure to show your mom you care for her every second you get.  Moms like that sort of stuff ;).   Good luck with your family situation.  I really hope everything works out for you.  You're a pretty strong person for being able to put up with your brother thus far, I would have gone insane on my sister by now.  Keep up the good work, and be sure not to lose the patience that you obviously have. -- Posted by The Dark Prince at 3:17 am on Dec. 10, 2008 Keep in mind that it is not your responsibility to make him behave, but there are a few things that you could probably do to make your homelife a little better.  I would suggest talking to him.  Don't yell, don't be mean, just simply sit him down and have a friendly brotherly chat with him. With his attitude actually just sitting down and talking to him is next to impossible. He will pull a bratty attitude start talk and saying stuff like blah blah blah and put his hands to his ears. -- Posted by tell me again at 4:58 am on Dec. 10, 2008 Is the treatment and meds stressing him out in some way? He's still young, so he may not fully understand the impact he's having on all of you, and might feel upset that he is sick and under all these treatments. I'm guessing that your mum is (understandably) exhausted and possibly not meeting your brother's emotional needs, so he is acting out. It might be helpful to shift your (or your mum's) attention from running around doing stuff for him, to being sympathetic but firm about his limits. If you don't have enough resources to pick up after him, then don't. Just do less for him (under reasonable conditions). On the other hand, paying emotional attention to him might do all the difference in the world, and he won't feel the need to throw tantrums anymore. I don't know how realistic this is, but give it a go.