-- Posted by The Stranger at 9:33 pm on Dec. 12, 2008 People thinks I am a happy person and all that stuff but I'm not! I have been hiding my depression,You don't even know what happens in my life you don't know the things I try on myself.Everybody thinks well he is the Christian boy he has no worries well I have a big load on my back.I have questioned everything I believe in.... I am falling slowly and rapidly. I think I am a accident ready to happen and I am really scared it is like I am not controlling my life! -- Posted by Style Out at 9:36 pm on Dec. 12, 2008 Is there someone you can talk to at your church? -- Posted by guitar freak at 9:36 pm on Dec. 12, 2008 ill pray for you derek -- Posted by Tauras1991 at 9:36 pm on Dec. 12, 2008 If ya need a friend Message Me :) -- Posted by Wolf at 9:51 pm on Dec. 12, 2008 Oh Derek, where to begin... For starters, you are always welcome to send me a message on MSN if you need to talk.  I'll try to drop what I am doing if it's important.  I know I can be grouchy at times, but I think of you as a friend. Anyways, you are really young.  How about you just sit back and take life as it comes?  This age is supposed to be a time when you sit back and enjoy life, have a good relationship with your parents, where you are at... have a good relationship with God.  Obviously from our previous conversations you are having trouble with a lot of this due to all the stuff that's happened with your friends.  We have all had our issues.  I've told you about my Dad, my own domestic violence issues, my cutting issues... The main thing is this... it gets better.  You need to look towards the positive.  Admit defeat in some areas and try to be strong in others.  The life that God gave you is what you make of it.  He gave you your own free will to decide what to do with your life.  Would he want you to dwell in the past?  No, He would want you to live your life as the strongest person you could be.  If you think you are losing faith in Him, then think about your parents, your friends, and your family.  They are all important parts of your life.   There are many things that you have that many people in the world don't have, and there are many things that you think are bad when others have it much worse.  I am not telling you that to say your issues aren't worth it, I am telling you that because they can ALWAYS be worked through. Questioning what you believe in is a natural part of life.  I have done it a ton, so have most people.  It's part of life.  My philosophy is to live to make yourself happy and to be as nice to be as nice to others as possible so they can achieve happiness as well.  At times, it seems almost as though you are intentionally focusing on the bad parts of life and ignoring the positive.  The way I would go about it is rather to focus on the positive and work on fixing the negative. Respond to this and we'll talk further.  Best of luck ~Shaun -- Posted by whips handcuffs at 9:55 pm on Dec. 12, 2008 is there someone at your church that you can talk to? or a good friend? parent, relative, maybe teacher? it may not seem like it now, but life does get better. if you can't think of someone you want to talk to more, i'm here.