-- Posted by SpRiNgS at 7:47 pm on Dec. 13, 2008 So i'm alright where my life is right now but it's far from where I want to be/expected to be right now. Most of it's MY fault as well. -I fuck up a chance at a scholarship by doing something SO DAMN stupid so I have tow ait a year before trying out at another school and i'll still have that STUPID STUPID decision over my head -I can't speak to my parents on a even level so sometimes they seem to feel the need to remind me i'm an adult, yet still come at me like i'm under 18 -I never seem to measure up in my minds eye to a view of myself, my self esteem can get real low at times. Most of the time I can feel like a fucking champion but when i'm down i'm in some abyss or something of failure. -I feel pathetic that I have to hear someone tell me good things about myself to make myself feel better, like some shameless bastard or something -Sometiems I feel my own hopes and dreams are foolish and wonder WHY i'm following them -- Posted by hawaiinchuck at 1:15 am on Dec. 15, 2008 1.) SHIT HAPPENS. You need to deal with it and move on. You made that decision, it sucks, you feel like crap, move on. That's the only way to do it man. 2.) Parents do that shit. It's something they will never ever outgrow. 3.) You really never will. You are always your hardest critic, so you will always find the negative things about you, and/or your situation, and blow them out of proportion. The self esteem thing is normal. Your body goes through swings, i think it has something to do with testosterone. Not too sure. But that happens too. 4.) Ahh. Yeah i get ya there. Kinda like you're depending on someone, and you hate that you have to depend on someone to bring yourself up. That's something that you have to fix. No one can do it for ya. Sometimes you need other people to lean on. But obviously you cant lean on them for ever. You'll learn to stand on you're own two feet without having to get others approval. Shit i aint even there yet, won't be for a long ass time. So no worries there bro. 5.) Stop fucking double guessing yourself! Seriously. You are your own critic, like i said. But STOP with that shit. It wont get your anywhere. And i can guarantee you won't find an answer to that question. Really there is no need to question it. just go after it dude. Don't worry about them being foolish and shit. Just fucking DO IT. Yeah so sorry if this aint the best advice or anything. I've worked 15 hours today. You know how to get ahold of me dude.