-- Posted by hellie at 11:41 am on Dec. 16, 2008 About 4 months ago i found out that my dad is terminally ill with cancer. for the past 4 months i have acted like nothing has changed and that I'm fine(even though I'm devastated) because i don't want to get in anyones way its my problem not other peoples. But I'm starting to feel like i cant keep pretending that its not happening and that I'm fine. am i right to keep pretending that I'm fine? what am i meant to do? -- Posted by mcrgrl9 at 11:42 am on Dec. 16, 2008 Talk to your other family members! im sure they feel the same as you!! Its ok to let your feelings out, as i think you should instead of keeping them bottled up (Maybe I should take my own advice once in a while) -- Posted by envyeyz709 at 11:48 am on Dec. 16, 2008 my mom died of cancer on october 29th of this year, message me to talk if you want. i know what you're going through. -- Posted by littlewing at 11:49 am on Dec. 16, 2008 I'm so sorry.  You need to talk to your family.  You're right, you can't keep pretending.  Cry, scream, shout hell even laugh.  These emotions are normal.  Sit down and really talk to your dad.  I imagine that this will be very tough for you but think of him.  Build up as many happy memories as you can. Out a smile on his face.  I am so sorry hunny.  I never been in your shoes before but i hope my advice helps you.  Im sending you healing vibes. -- Posted by carbonara at 11:56 am on Dec. 16, 2008 I had an Auntie who i was extremely close to. She was like a second mother to me and i spent so much time with her. I was her favourite and she was mine. We adored each other. Then she got cancer and at the age of 13 i felt like i needed to be brave for her and for everyone else. I took a step back because i didn't want to burden anyone with my feelings. I completely shut myself off and became the role of supporter. My mum would cry a lot and i would sit there and hug her. Then the day of her death came. The whole family were surrounding her at her bedside and she slipped away robbed of her life at just 30 with a 4 month old baby. At that moment, everybody broke down around me and i just stood there dry eyed hugging everyone else and making sure everyone else was fine. Then the funeral came and again, i didn't shed a single tear. I just stood there and comforted everyone else. Then when i returned to school after a lengthly 2 weeks off i saw one of my friends and just broke down. I cried for about half an hour straight because i didn't mind burdening her because she wasn't involved. All in all through my aunts illness i shut myself off and in turn i shut myself off from her and missed vital time i could have been spending with her. The moral of the story is burden your friends with your emotions, spend as much time as you can with your father and make sure you are open with HIM, make sure you tell him that you love him all the time. If you feel that your mother can't take on your feelings too then talk to whoever else is available. Talk to your siblings, your grandparents, a long lost uncle. Anyone who is going to be there for YOU. Your family are losing this man, but you need to remember that you are losing your father and that is not an easy thing for someone so young. You need to consider your own feelings once in a while. Don't bottle it up because that'll only make it worse and it will make you a lot more bitter trust me. -- Posted by The Persuader at 12:02 pm on Dec. 16, 2008 This is hard. Don't pretend,u've done it long enough. Talk to someone or u can message LW members. Enjoy every moment u have with him now cuz when he's gone,he won't come back. He can only live forth in your memories. I'm sorry.