-- Posted by Anonymous at 12:46 am on Dec. 19, 2008 So I was diagnosed with an ED twice by different psychologists, but never by a physician. Both of these happened about 5 years ago when I actually sought out mental help. My weight has ebbed and flowed, from 140 down to 115, but in the last year it has steadily climbed (blame college) to 145.5. I'm 5'7'', VERY athletic (I was a national athlete for 12 years) I don't know if I've ever had a strict ED, and I'm troubled by the idea of wannarexia. My weight has always been a part of other neurosis. So right now, I'm home from college for christmas, and this always puts me on a fast track to weight loss. I haven't been on a scale in 11 months, and now I'll be on it every day. I haven't counted calories in months, but I know that I ate 60 (bacon) 140 (eggs) 150 (ramen) 30 (bell pepper) 50 (sugar and milk in coffee) 100 (two bites of chocolate and a handful of nuts) 100 (bread) 200 (cheese) 60 (tomato soup) total: 790 but of course, I'll add 150 extra just in case there was butter on anything etc. so let's say 850 then I walked around in the snow for 3 hours without sitting down approx 350 calories then burned 253 calories on a bike machine so that's a net intake of 247 now I need 2232 calories to maintain weight so that's pretty good. I don't know what it is about being at my parents house that brings this out in me. I can look at myself and see that I'm not too skinny, not too fat. I don't think. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just still young enough to have the deep inkling that vices have sex appeal. I'm an addict to alcohol, cigarettes, coffee. I do harder drugs but am not addicted. I just need the control I guess. I don't really think it's an ED, it's just this thing I do. Not all the time, but periodically for a few months at a time over the last 6 years. I don't think I'd look bad 30 lbs lighter, and I know I'd feel better. I just want to be in shape, you know? anyways, right now I'd say I'm thick but built, yes? I don't really want to be skinny per se, but I want the control of regulating my diet. Do you think it would look weird if I dropped 15-20 lbs? -- Posted by gief at 12:48 am on Dec. 19, 2008 you have a nice body, eat. -- Posted by blufindr at 12:48 am on Dec. 19, 2008 Sorry, you look good as is. Don't lose any weight. -- Posted by AprilAnn at 12:49 am on Dec. 19, 2008 it wouldnt look bad. but you don't need to. -- Posted by reev at 12:50 am on Dec. 19, 2008 your body looks like it's in great shape to me. no need to lose any weight. -- Posted by Leah Louise at 1:14 am on Dec. 19, 2008 Trust me i know how it is... just try not to count cals or use the scales eat healthy and u will loose naturally -- Posted by Natsy at 8:37 am on Dec. 19, 2008 there's more than 60 calories in bacon -- Posted by Anonymous at 10:14 am on Dec. 19, 2008 Quote: from Natsy at 11:37 am on Dec. 19, 2008 there's more than 60 calories in bacon nope, I checked the package, and it's 80 calories for two slices (it's lowfat bacon). I cut up three slices and made them with four eggs, then split the meal between my father and I. -- Posted by Natsy at 10:16 am on Dec. 19, 2008 Quote: from Anonymous at 6:14 pm on Dec. 19, 2008 Quote: from Natsy at 11:37 am on Dec. 19, 2008 there's more than 60 calories in bacon nope, I checked the package, and it's 80 calories for two slices (it's lowfat bacon). I cut up three slices and made them with four eggs, then split the meal between my father and I. did you take into account the oil? -- Posted by Anonymous at 10:21 am on Dec. 19, 2008 Quote: from Natsy at 1:16 pm on Dec. 19, 2008 Quote: from Anonymous at 6:14 pm on Dec. 19, 2008 Quote: from Natsy at 11:37 am on Dec. 19, 2008 there's more than 60 calories in bacon    nope, I checked the package, and it's 80 calories for two slices (it's lowfat bacon). I cut up three slices and made them with four eggs, then split the meal between my father and I. did you take into account the oil? I didn't fry them with any oil, besides as you'll note at the end, I added 150 extra calories to my total just in case my calculations were low anywhere. -- Posted by Anonymous at 11:52 pm on Dec. 20, 2008 230---3 chocolates 400---1/2 restaurant meal 500---snacks 100-cl 1230 - 350 880 300 baily's 1000-restaurant meal 200-snacks 400-chocolates 1900 -450 1450 WELL it looks like I will be excercizing a lot tonight. -- Posted by fullmooncurse at 12:32 am on Dec. 21, 2008 You look good. If you lost 30 pounds you'd look horrible, your hip bones would stick out and so would you ribs. -- Posted by Anonymous at 7:08 pm on Dec. 23, 2008 current weight: 140 caloric intake today: 1/4 banana-20 calories