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-- Posted by Anonymous at 6:35 pm on Dec. 21, 2008
Good? Bad? Mediocre?
Pointless? Write what you think.
I'm just curious.
For every good poem I write, I also write a lot of reflections and mediocre poems. Today I am a broken bottle,
Lost in a stormy sea.
My sharp edges have been diminished,
After crashing through the strong current.
Maybe I will be picked up,
Maybe I will wash up on shore.
But then again maybe not,
And I will sink to dark depths unknown by you,
Unknown by all. Today I am a broken bottle,
Alone in a salty sea.
My sharp wit has been diminished,
After having nothing around to test it.
Maybe I will meet someone,
Maybe I will be able to speak.
Bu then again maybe not,
And my shining mind will drift into a giant maelstrom,
Unknown by all. Today I am but broken glass,
Nothing left to identify me.
My body has been diminished,
After breaking off against the sand and rock.
Maybe I will be better once more,
Maybe I will be rejuvenated.
But then again maybe not,
And my crafty glamour will be lost for eternity,
Unknown by all. Today I am no longer here,
Part of the ocean's flow.
My existence has been diminished,
After having nothing to sustain it's splendor.
Maybe it was for the better of all,
Maybe I will have a better life this way.
But then again maybe not,
And my pain will drift though the world's waves,
Unknown by all.
-- Posted by babybluebitch at 6:36 pm on Dec. 21, 2008
bad right off the bat
-- Posted by Anonymous at 6:37 pm on Dec. 21, 2008
Quote: from babybluebitch at 6:36 pm on Dec. 21, 2008
 bad right off the bat 
Really?
Why?
-- Posted by broken1 at 6:40 pm on Dec. 21, 2008
I thought it was good. its deep so babybluebitch probably didnt get it.
-- Posted by pinkrazrscocaine at 6:40 pm on Dec. 21, 2008
there is absolutely no respect for the delicate art of poetry in this batch of word vomit.
-- Posted by Killer Tofu at 6:40 pm on Dec. 21, 2008
I liked it.
-- Posted by coughcough at 6:43 pm on Dec. 21, 2008
I liked it shows true inspiration
-- Posted by Anonymous at 6:43 pm on Dec. 21, 2008
Quote: from pinkrazrscocaine at 6:40 pm on Dec. 21, 2008
there is absolutely no respect for the delicate art of poetry in this batch of word vomit.
Care to elaborate?
I want to know what was wrong with it. Not just that it was a heap of horse excretion.
-- Posted by pinkrazrscocaine at 6:50 pm on Dec. 21, 2008
Quote: from Anonymous at 6:43 pm on Dec. 21, 2008
Quote: from pinkrazrscocaine at 6:40 pm on Dec. 21, 2008
there is absolutely no respect for the delicate art of poetry in this batch of word vomit.
Care to elaborate?
I want to know what was wrong with it. Not just that it was a heap of horse excretion.
sure, sure. first off, I'm not a huge fan of anaphora, myself..
it is sort of in limbo between a free verse poem, and one with rhythm and rhyme. secondly, you're stanzas are all to pieces.
before writing anymore poetry I'd suggest reading, studying, and analyzing classical poetry from a myriad of poets. then work to find your own niche...
-- Posted by Anonymous at 6:53 pm on Dec. 21, 2008
Quote: from pinkrazrscocaine at 6:50 pm on Dec. 21, 2008
Quote: from Anonymous at 6:43 pm on Dec. 21, 2008
Quote: from pinkrazrscocaine at 6:40 pm on Dec. 21, 2008
there is absolutely no respect for the delicate art of poetry in this batch of word vomit.
Care to elaborate?
I want to know what was wrong with it. Not just that it was a heap of horse excretion.
sure, sure. first off, I'm not a huge fan of anaphora, myself..
it is sort of in limbo between a free verse poem, and one with rhythm and rhyme. secondly, you're stanzas are all to pieces.
before writing anymore poetry I'd suggest reading, studying, and analyzing classical poetry from a myriad of poets. then work to find your own niche...
Thanks. I don't really like anaphora either, which leaves the question why I wrote it the way I did.
I usually find repetition sickening and bland. Thanks for the advice.
I'll get on that. I haven't been able to get any great influence lately.
-- Posted by pinkrazrscocaine at 6:54 pm on Dec. 21, 2008
and another thing, know your types of poetry. yours is sort of a random, uneven blend of a sort of an elegy, lyrical type thing. and the "But then again maybe not" line sounds very informal.
-- Posted by Anonymous at 7:04 pm on Dec. 21, 2008
Quote: from pinkrazrscocaine at 6:54 pm on Dec. 21, 2008
and another thing, know your types of poetry. yours is sort of a random, uneven blend of a sort of an elegy, lyrical type thing. and the "But then again maybe not" line sounds very informal.
Fair enough. [Note what I said before the actual poem about sometimes writing "self reflections".]
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