-- Posted by mike11455 at 2:55 pm on Dec. 24, 2008 My girlfriend and i have been going out for 2 months. before that, she was like my best friend for 3 years. the past couple days she has been distant, and today she started talking about her ex...and i asked if she still had feelings for him, and she said yes, some. i asked if she had been talking to him and she said sometimes. we talked about it for a while and she promised me that she is not going to go back to him. she said to drop the subject, and that she had to go to her grandma's. i tried to text her but she was being really short with me so i asked if she wanted to talk to me later instead, and she said yeah. i'm giving her her space, but it's not easy. i feel like her feelings have changed. i hope i'm just being paranoid. we argue a lot, but it's never serious enough that we can't talk it out in five minutes. this time it seems really different, really wrong. i don't know what to do besides wait...she is the most important person in the world to me, i don't want to lose her... -- Posted by audrey820 at 3:40 pm on Dec. 24, 2008 Heyyy. Sorry you guys have hit such a rough spot. It seems as though she's going through something on her own. And it's something entirely beyond your control. You can't make her feelings change. It seems as though she's confused about her feelings in general. Like she's still getting over her ex and trying to work out what it is she feels for you. Whether it's real or a rebound thing. Maybe she's doubting whether she can have feelings for two people at once. Those are all possibilities. Only she knows for sure and you guys are going to have to communicate to figure out what's going on. But she also may need time to figure it out herself. And space. I would definitely suggest letting her know that you care about her and want to do whatever makes her happy. Let her know that you'll be there when she's ready to talk about it. And reassure her that you care. But also tell her that you need to have her help you know what to do here. If she wants space or wants you around. What makes her comfortable? And let her know that even if she doesn't want to be with you, you still want to be friends. If that's true, of course. It doesn't sound as though you want to lose her though and you'd still want to be friends no matter what. Then listen when she's ready to talk. It may not be what you want to hear. She may need time apart or just not have the feelings you want her to have. But at least you'll know. Basically, relationships rely on communicating and being open. And that's what she's going to need to do so you guys can figure this out. Only she can tell you what she's feeling. Don't give up though. Every relationship has ups and downs. This doesn't mean the end, it's just something to work through and hopefully you guys come out stronger. So yeah, talk to her. :) -- Posted by mike11455 at 6:03 pm on Dec. 24, 2008 thank you. she started talking to me again. we have a very open relationship...but she is kind of ignoring the entire issue now...and if i bring it up she changes the subject, so i just let it drop for now. i'm assuming a time will come to talk about it. but it worries me that she is ignoring it completely now. maybe she doesn't want me to be involved, i don't know. i guess i just have to give it time...and yes, we will always be friends regardless of what happens. i guess time cures everything.... again, thanks for giving me feedback. i really really appreciate your support.