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Printable Version of Topic "My first poem in ages!"

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--- Short Stories & Poetry (http://www.golivewire.com/forums/forum-11-s-0.html)
---- My first poem in ages! (http://www.golivewire.com/forums/peer-yeteopb-support-a.html)


-- Posted by gapperdan at 6:44 am on Dec. 30, 2008

OK, so I haven't written any poetry for over 2 years now... and sat down earlier on and wrote this.
I know it's not the best... but... comments?


Who Is Me?

Come and see what I can.
When you are here, in this exact spot,
You can see and hear all that I can.
Your experiences may be like those I have,
Yet you and I are not the same.

These are the words I tell my future self,
The person that I will become.
Even if he were to travel on a time machine,
Back to the Then that is Right Now,
I am not my future self, and he is not me.

We may have continuously shared
The same time-space since forever,
But the two of us are not the same.
I will become you, but I am not you,
You were once me, but you are me no longer.


-- Posted by Miss Vanity at 6:45 am on Dec. 30, 2008

Pretty good


-- Posted by katbabes at 6:47 am on Dec. 30, 2008

thats good :)


-- Posted by Imbetter at 6:53 am on Dec. 30, 2008

I like it.


-- Posted by gapperdan at 6:55 am on Dec. 30, 2008

Cheers guys!

I know it's a bit philosophical and deep... but it was the first thing that came into my head.


-- Posted by blacksash7022 at 7:03 am on Dec. 30, 2008

Not bad I kind of like the approximate rhyme


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