-- Posted by Anonymous at 6:47 pm on Jan. 1, 2009   So I've been doing a lot of thinking about what causes fetishism/paraphilia; in no small part due to my own.   Psychologists believe that paraphilia and fetishes often originate from childhood fears or traumatic experiences; and often arise during puberty. This; however, is not always the case.    I know this from personal experience. You see, my fetish is of women going to the bathroom. That's right, girls pooping and peeing. I'm not joking, I'm not saying this to be a troll or for attention or even just to encourage discussion. My fetishes( or more accurately mild paraphilia; mild because they don't cause any problems) are officially known as Coprophilia and Urophilia. Girls pooping turns me on more than them peeing. My fetish is extremely focused in that it is far less 'hardcore' than much of the porn involving it you will find on the internet. Girls pooping or even peeing and then smearing it on themselves or, God forbid, eating/drinking it completely grosses me out. I only like watching them go, either on the toilet or in their pants(the latter more arousing to me).      The point I want to make is that I had no traumatic experiences involving poop or pee as a child. Yes, I had a couple of accidents as a kid, but I don't really remember any of them as being that big of a deal. Embarrassing, yes, but I got over them pretty quick. My fetishes did, however, arise during puberty.       Technically, I shouldn't be using the words fetish and paraphilia because in the psychological world these are really only used to describe these things taken to the extreme. But I use them for lack of better words.        So what causes fetishes? What fetishes do you or people you know have? Can you figure out what may have caused these fetishes? -- Posted by byebyebeautyful at 6:50 pm on Jan. 1, 2009 could it be possible that something happened that you dont remember? or possibly...that is just what turns you on and maybe its not even a condition? -- Posted by exceedinglyrare at 7:01 pm on Jan. 1, 2009 That description really wasn't necessary--we didn't need to know all of that in order to discuss fetishes and paraphilia. I mean, kudos for you liking what you like, but I don't want to know about it, and to get to the point of your  post, I had to read it. So thanks. Regarding the topic at hand...honestly, I'd say it's a combination, like most things, of nature and nurture, and ultimately, a person's own choice to entertain certain fantasies or be repulsed (and by "be repulsed" I don't mean "feel disgusted" but actually make the conscious choice to avoid thinking about them) by them. It would vary from person to person. I don't think it requires a traumatic event--that's Freud speaking, and I have a very low opinion of him (no, I do not want a penis, tyvm)--it just boils down to that some people like some things. -- Posted by omnifariam at 5:43 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 Quote: from exceedinglyrare at 3:01 am on Jan. 2, 2009 That description really wasn't necessary--we didn't need to know all of that in order to discuss fetishes and paraphilia. I mean, kudos for you liking what you like, but I don't want to know about it, and to get to the point of your post, I had to read it. So thanks. Regarding the topic at hand...honestly, I'd say it's a combination, like most things, of nature and nurture, and ultimately, a person's own choice to entertain certain fantasies or be repulsed (and by "be repulsed" I don't mean "feel disgusted" but actually make the conscious choice to avoid thinking about them) by them. It would vary from person to person. I don't think it requires a traumatic event--that's Freud speaking, and I have a very low opinion of him (no, I do not want a penis, tyvm)--it just boils down to that some people like some things. For reasons unknown, some fetishes can really get very strange. But I don't think that penis envy is considered a fetish. Just my two cents. -- Posted by exceedinglyrare at 6:12 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 Quote: from omnifariam at 8:43 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 Quote: from exceedinglyrare at 3:01 am on Jan. 2, 2009 That description really wasn't necessary--we didn't need to know all of that in order to discuss fetishes and paraphilia. I mean, kudos for you liking what you like, but I don't want to know about it, and to get to the point of your  post, I had to read it. So thanks.    Regarding the topic at hand...honestly, I'd say it's a combination, like most things, of nature and nurture, and ultimately, a person's own choice to entertain certain fantasies or be repulsed (and by "be repulsed" I don't mean "feel disgusted" but actually make the conscious choice to avoid thinking about them) by them. It would vary from person to person. I don't think it requires a traumatic event--that's Freud speaking, and I have a very low opinion of him (no, I do not want a penis, tyvm)--it just boils down to that some people like some things. For reasons unknown, some fetishes can really get very strange. But I don't think that penis envy is considered a fetish. Just my two cents. I wasn't referring to penis envy; I was pointing out the fact that Freud tended to have beliefs that people developed fetishes and such because of traumatic events in their childhood...all those theories stem from Freudian psychology. -- Posted by sophos at 3:54 am on Jan. 10, 2009 Quote: from omnifariam at 9:43 am on Jan. 9, 2009 For reasons unknown, some fetishes can really get very strange. But I don't think that penis envy is considered a fetish. Just my two cents. Penis envy is a pitiful psychological disorder, stemming from feelings of inadequacy. Although they may not like to admit it, almost every girl goes through this, with some never able to outgrow it. Suddenly stating that one doesn't want a penis when no such suggestion was made, clearly illustrates this subconsciously lingering angst. It doesn't take a Freudian genius to figure that out. -- Posted by medjai at 1:09 am on Jan. 11, 2009 For once I think sophos is awesome and hilarious. Thank you sophos, for your awesome post. Your fetish is kind of disgusting but I guess it doesn't really matter you can just convince your girlfriend to like shit her own pants in front of you, as weird a conversation as that would be. I don't know much about fetishes and how they work, but I would imagine they are not inherited, but rather environmentally produced and stimulated. -- Posted by omnifariam at 1:09 am on Jan. 13, 2009 Quote: from exceedinglyrare at 2:12 am on Jan. 9, 2009 I wasn't referring to penis envy; I was pointing out the fact that Freud tended to have beliefs that people developed fetishes and such because of traumatic events in their childhood...all those theories stem from Freudian psychology. My mistake, I think. What did you mean when you said, "no, I do not want a penis, tyvm?" Did I miss something? -- Posted by exceedinglyrare at 6:27 am on Jan. 13, 2009 Quote: from omnifariam at 4:09 am on Jan. 13, 2009 Quote: from exceedinglyrare at 2:12 am on Jan. 9, 2009 I wasn't referring to penis envy; I was pointing out the fact that Freud tended to have beliefs that people developed fetishes and such because of traumatic events in their childhood...all those theories stem from Freudian psychology. My mistake, I think. What did you mean when you said, "no, I do not want a penis, tyvm?" Did I miss something? I was referring to Freud's idea of "penis envy" being some sort of motivating factor for women in their sexual development. It's essentially been discredited in most psychoanalytic circles. You can read more about it here. -- Posted by omnifariam at 1:49 am on Jan. 14, 2009 Quote: from exceedinglyrare at 2:27 pm on Jan. 13, 2009 Quote: from omnifariam at 4:09 am on Jan. 13, 2009 Quote: from exceedinglyrare at 2:12 am on Jan. 9, 2009 I wasn't referring to penis envy; I was pointing out the fact that Freud tended to have beliefs that people developed fetishes and such because of traumatic events in their childhood...all those theories stem from Freudian psychology. My mistake, I think. What did you mean when you said,    "no, I do not want a penis, tyvm?"    Did I miss something? I was referring to Freud's idea of "penis envy" being some sort of motivating factor for women in their sexual development. It's essentially been discredited in most psychoanalytic circles. You can read more about it here. Thank you for answering my question. I know what penis envy is, and it is not a fetish. So, my question is, what relevance did it have in your previous post? -- Posted by sophos at 1:26 am on Jan. 15, 2009 Quote: from omnifariam at 5:49 pm on Jan. 14, 2009 ... I know what penis envy is, and it is not a fetish. So, my question is, what relevance did it have in your previous post? Don't expect an answer, because it would only expose a sad penis-envying psyche. -- Posted by exceedinglyrare at 5:02 am on Jan. 15, 2009 Quote: from omnifariam at 4:49 am on Jan. 14, 2009 Thank you for answering my question. I know what penis envy is, and it is not a fetish. So, my question is, what relevance did it have in your previous post? I could've sworn I answered this already. I was throwing it in there as a reference to Freudian psychology to say how I, personally, believe it's bunk, as do most psychoanalysts. I don't see why that's difficult for you to pick up on or understand, but there you go. -- Posted by omnifariam at 6:50 am on Jan. 15, 2009 Quote: from exceedinglyrare at 1:02 pm on Jan. 15, 2009 Quote: from omnifariam at 4:49 am on Jan. 14, 2009 Thank you for answering my question.    I know what penis envy is, and it is not a fetish. So, my question is, what relevance did it have in your previous post? I could've sworn I answered this already. I was throwing it in there as a reference to Freudian psychology to say how I, personally, believe it's bunk, as do most psychoanalysts. I don't see why that's difficult for you to pick up on or understand, but there you go. Thank you for answering. Freud did propose it, among other things, but like I said earlier, I don't see its relevance in your post. Freud's views on fetishes having roots in past experiences have nothing to do with penis envy. Like you said, I may be dense, but that's the way I understand it, anyway. -- Posted by exceedinglyrare at 7:37 am on Jan. 15, 2009 Quote: from omnifariam at 9:50 am on Jan. 15, 2009 Thank you for answering. Freud did propose it, among other things, but like I said earlier, I don't see its relevance in your post. Freud's views on fetishes having roots in past experiences have nothing to do with penis envy. Like you said, I may be dense, but that's the way I understand it, anyway. You're still missing what I was saying. I wasn't saying that penis envy had anything to do with fetishes, but was just using it as an example of why I think most Freudian psychology is bunk. -- Posted by Bacon at 9:49 am on Jan. 15, 2009 I believe fetishes and sexuality are similar in that their formations may both arise in childhood, further initialised by predisposed genetic factor. How these two are developed in childhood is, I believe, stemmed from events in which invoke/have invoked strong emotion. Trauma is a strong, deep-seeded psychological scar (which invokes an experience and memories of strong negative emotion), which is probably why it is most often linked to fetishism or sexuality later in life. But do these "strong emotions" have to be negative? Not necessarily. I am bisexual and therefore I feel attraction to both males and females, however I am weighted in my attraction and I will often find myself more aroused to those of the male persuasion (distinct weighting appears to be common amongst bisexuals). Because this goes against the "natural order" in which states that man will love/lust for women... I believe somewhere in my childhood there is an event or events which invoked strong emotion - perhaps positive. I was very close to my best friend (a male). He was pretty much my only friend before I was a teenager. However, he had other friends (of the opposite gender as well). Anyway, somewhere down the line we had some, well, slightly sexual experiences (not involving sex) and I enjoyed them thoroughly. Perhaps so much so that I became "connected" with this friend of mine.. First love? Well, I wouldn't go that far. Nevertheless, these events were extremely positive, happy and enjoyable. Perhaps more than I ever have been in any other time of my life. So all in all, I'd probably say sexuality and fetishism are products of strong emotional events of childhood - not just traumatic events. There also may be some genetic susceptibility in there.. Perhaps some people are less inclined to be effected by strong emotional response? :P -- Posted by sophos at 11:26 pm on Jan. 15, 2009 Quote: from omnifariam at 10:50 pm on Jan. 15, 2009 ... Freud did propose it, among other things, but like I said earlier, I don't see its relevance in your post. Freud's views on fetishes having roots in past experiences have nothing to do with penis envy. ... Fret not, for you have stumbled upon an unfortunate and untimely blurt, that has exposed the most embarrassing of secrets, now recorded for posterity. Kudos! -- Posted by Anonymous at 4:17 pm on Jan. 16, 2009 As a sadomasochist and Domme (I like to give and receive pain and I like sexually submissive people), I can honestly say I believe my deviances have roots in my childhood experiences. Note I said experiences, not trauma. These experiences were repeated over periods of time, as opposed to a sudden one-time traumatic experience. The pain aspect is a direct link to my own way of dealing with emotions as exhibited first by my parents. It later developed into self-mutilation (I was 8 when I first self-mutilated). Now while the act of self-mutilation is driven by completely different feelings and circumstances, I think that it's way too much of a coincidence to be random. My enjoyment of pain and of giving pain is directly related to my unhealthy coping strategy. As a Domme, I think that also stems from childhood. Now, I don't just mean I like to be in charge during sex. My fiance and I have a 24/7 D/s relationship (Meaning, he wants me to be a Domme in all aspects of our relationship, all the time. You know, he wants me to "wear the pants." Just trust me that it's not codependency, but if you want, we can start a whole 'nother conversation about that.) The first instance where I enjoyed having control over someone was when I was in fifth grade: I made a boy beg to receive a letter from me.  After that, he had to beg everytime. -- Posted by allsmiles at 5:29 pm on Jan. 16, 2009 I'm a strong believer that it can be (and is in my case) a genetic cause. I've looked into my family tree, and I've found a consistent pattern of one generation child abuser, abusing the two generations below them, repeated (3 times to be specific). Lo and behold, from the age of about 5 onwards, and really kicking in at 15, I found myself attracted to younger (and younger looking) girls. Fortunately, I live in the information age, and an age where men are allowed to voice their emotions and concerns - I've placed a block on my desires, and I have government support to help me stay afloat. That's irrelevant though. I had no traumatic experiences as a child. That said, I was sexually active from the ages of 7 to 11, so I suppose that could have an impact, but like I said, I had been attracted to younger girls since before then. My parents actively oppose the attraction, for obvious reasons, so I don't think it's nurture. I dunno. Maybe I'm wrong. -- Posted by kjm55 at 6:53 am on Jan. 17, 2009 Where Freudian psychology points towards unconcious childhood sexuality influencing fetishes as an adult, there are exceptions and it is a very vague area of psychology. Look at Ted Bundy for example. Brought up in a regular christian home with two married and loving parents. He went on to murder 30+ people and confessed to several atypical fetishes.