-- Posted by Poeticpunker at 7:12 pm on Jan. 1, 2009 Following Her Fingertips brush away stray hairs, arms are secure around her shoulders He watches her, like her own dearest angel While he sleeps on the other side of the world, his sleeping seconds belong to her He wants her to claim him, sending living hints in his waking words She puts to clues together but doubts their reality Frustrated sighs in the sun and under the clouds Their separate reasons are close to the same revelation They are each other, connected by unseen fibers stretching Threatening to snap them together He draws the curve of her smile in his mind, the shine in her eyes She tries to taste him around her, not quite failing nor quite succeeding Clueless wandering, orbiting around her Hysteria rising in his throat, he screams against her skin Cries into her neck, she only feels the memory of whispers Locking his eyes on her face, he steps back to reality Dreaming of when she'll join him there ____________________ Quick FYI...it has NOTHING to do with Twilight. -- Posted by Lihiro at 7:13 pm on Jan. 1, 2009 I actually really quite like it. My poems are here if you feel like it: http://Lihiro.Deviantart.com -- Posted by iHaveAlargePenis at 7:13 pm on Jan. 1, 2009 Not bad. 9/10 -- Posted by bathroomdisaster at 7:13 pm on Jan. 1, 2009 THAT HARDLY RHYMES??????? -- Posted by Jman19 at 7:14 pm on Jan. 1, 2009 Pretty good. I liked it. -- Posted by Miss Vanity at 7:14 pm on Jan. 1, 2009 Cute 9/10 -- Posted by xNebulazx at 7:14 pm on Jan. 1, 2009 pretty damn good if you ask me -- Posted by Tattered And Torn at 7:14 pm on Jan. 1, 2009 Quote: from bathroomdisaster at 3:13 am on Jan. 2, 2009 THAT HARDLY RHYMES??????? poems dont need to rhyme -- Posted by Poeticpunker at 7:14 pm on Jan. 1, 2009 Quote: from bathroomdisaster at 10:13 pm on Jan. 1, 2009 THAT HARDLY RHYMES??????? I do free verse. -- Posted by coughcough at 7:15 pm on Jan. 1, 2009 10/10 -- Posted by J U S T at 7:19 pm on Jan. 1, 2009 5/10 I'm guessing it's about a long-distance relationship. Some of the lines in this poem seemed unnecessary. I couldn't quite figure out what exactly what they were trying to convey. Line 6: Frustrated sighs in the sun and under the clouds Line 11: Clueless wandering, orbiting around her I'm not sure what these lines are supposed to mean. I think a little too much of the poem was stuck in metaphor, making it kind of hard to get a feeling for what is happening. -- Posted by babecakes at 7:21 pm on Jan. 1, 2009 very nice. -- Posted by nullPointerException at 9:42 pm on Jan. 1, 2009 it's a good poem, I give it a 9/10, but I did not like it much. Just not my cup of tea.