-- Posted by Valentina at 10:54 am on Jan. 2, 2009 okay so i'm 16 my boyfriend is 17 we met at the end of the year last year at first he would barley talk to me & acting as if he wasnt interested finally we hung out and we fell inlove and now we have been dating for about 7 months and like we always fight but we always make up and then like when ever i threatened to break up with him he would cry and show emotion & i felt like i had control until the day he asked if he could se his friends more and i said okay, and then he began to take control and we didnt hang out as much but then we started up again and at first it was just yelling then it was pushing now its grabbing by the throat and stuff but like we are so in love with eachother like i have no control any more i and i dont want to break up with him he always trys to throw every fight on me and make it my fault when i know its not and when we do fight i know its for a good reason, i just miss the guy i fell inlove with. when we are together everythings just fine. but like idk what to do because he smokes all the time & when we hangout sometimes we will smoke then go back to his place and just have sex and then he will fall asleep.. like if he was using me i dont think he would like try and break up with me and then take me back all the time and idk, i just dont know what to do anymore because i do want to be with him i just want things to change but whenever i confront him he never says anything he will just sit there.  please help me -- Posted by peaceandlovebby at 10:56 am on Jan. 2, 2009 he pretty much sounds like he sucks. dump his ass D:< -- Posted by bellreavue at 10:58 am on Jan. 2, 2009 dump his ass i agree -- Posted by Leannbby at 10:58 am on Jan. 2, 2009 I wrote this, read it to yourself and maybe it will help. "I love to make people happy. All i want is to help people as much as i possibly can. I know im not perfect, but im not horrible either. The thing is; I try too hard, I care too much. I will do anything for the people i love.Without them i feel as if i would be someone completely different. I want to be myself. I want people to love me for me. The thing is though, i really thought that i found that person, when really it was a made up fairy tale. Im sick of being vulnerable. Im not going to let anyone change me into anything less than i deserve. I deserve love <3 Love is confusing; love is happiness; love is hate; love is hurting. Love is a strong underrated word. People throw it around like it means nothing. I feel as if love is only understood once you have that indescribable feeling of knowing no matter what happens, you will be there for them. When you learn that love had so much work and dedication, you might bail out. But thats only the thought of love, when you're in it, you will work and try your best, but its honestly hard. That's why people get scared. Don't close yourself in though...because those times may have hurt you, but there is someone out there that is willing to heal your heart. Learn from the mistakes you made, don't dwell or regret. Those moments were put in your life for a reason, cherish them. Its hard to move on from something you care the world for. All the memories, all the moments. All i can hope is that there is more to come. I'm going to be the best person i can be, and try to fight my hardest to be happy with my life. Only i know how i feel. I cant explain it, its impossible. All i can do is try <3 Trying; is it worth it?....should people just give up on hope? I mean it happens everyday...But how does it fix anything? Does it show how dependent you are on something else. Trying at least shows you want to move on, you want to be happy. You may think trying is a waste of time and it wont make any difference. No one ever gives trying...a try? Be strong; be independent. Show everyone you can be happy without someone holding your hand and helping guide you, but most important, show yourself..." -- Posted by ssminow at 11:00 am on Jan. 2, 2009 dump his ass!!!!!; a relationship will never work if there is always a power struggle -- Posted by lestat1990 at 11:02 am on Jan. 2, 2009 fighting isn't a bad thing. it shows that the relationship is worth the troubles everytime you come back from one. and so what he falls asleep after sex. sex can make you tired. its not like he's kicking you out right after sex. if you think its so bad break up with him and screw it if he cries cuz its not what you want. but if the bitching is just to bitch then stop bitching. if things arnt bad enough to break up stop complaining. you only make the relationship seem worse when you do that. -- Posted by x3Giselex3 at 11:10 am on Jan. 2, 2009 Ok i know its hard sweety and you love him and you dont want to leave him but i truly believe leaving him will benifit you !! :)  you'll feel a better andstronger person and ignore his calls no matter how hard it is and take full control again. Dont talk to him and let him miss you and when that time comes............tell him you want him to change and you want to see an improvement in his behaviour and this way he might change for the better, like the man you fell in love with :) -- Posted by Valentina at 11:23 am on Jan. 2, 2009 thanks guys so much! i loved all your posts. & the thing if we break up what will hurt me so much is i know he wont talk to me or try calling me or anything thats how he is he likes to play it hard. he acts like such a little kid. when it comes to break ups im not a strong person and i keep fighting for what i want until i get it i dont want to loose anything, im so young & there are alot of other guys out that ones who will treat me better, i just dont want them im so blinded by my boyfriends love that i cant like pull away from it. im stuck. i dont want to get out, i want to stay here but i just want him to treat me with respect & just understand me & understand why i feel this way, -- Posted by Leannbby at 12:40 pm on Jan. 2, 2009 treat him the way he is treating you. people want what they cant have, and right now it seems like he knows he wont lose you, make him wonder...and dont even second guess it or go back on it. its the ONLY thing that will make it better. -- Posted by Valentina at 2:09 pm on Jan. 2, 2009 thats  exsactly what i need to do but how???