LiveWire Peer Support Network

Printable Version of Topic "How is this poem?"

- LiveWire Teen Forums & College Forums (http://www.golivewire.com)
-- (http://www.golivewire.com/forums/support-teen.html)
--- Short Stories & Poetry (http://www.golivewire.com/forums/forum-11-s-0.html)
---- How is this poem? (http://www.golivewire.com/forums/peer-yetpbtt-support-a.html)


-- Posted by danndivision at 12:45 pm on Jan. 2, 2009

One day, every day
is how it always seemed
every moment i saw her
her eyes always seemed to gleam

I love seeing her
even if we don't talk
I just stand there doing nothing
while the walls seem to gawk

felt bored and felt like writing a poem, is it decent? if not how can I change it?


-- Posted by ixcantxspellxsry at 11:34 am on Jan. 3, 2009

I liked it but it kinda didn't seem finished like i think shes radiant beyond comapre but thats it it kinda just stops.


-- Posted by danndivision at 11:37 am on Jan. 3, 2009

I guess,,, i just dont knwo what else to add to it


www.golivewire.com