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-- Posted by kawaweleh at 12:07 am on Jan. 4, 2009
I fell in love with one of my best friends over two years ago, in our last year of middle school. Now we're in high school, and I'm still in love with them, even deeper than I could have imagined. When I first fell in love with (let's call them J), I was in a relationship with another person the summer after J rejected me. They weren't yet to the point of liking people that way- remember, we were in middle school- not to mention we were both girls. Now we were in high school, and The relationship I had after rejection turned out to mean nothing to me- I was still in love with J. So when the relationship ended, I told J I was still in love with her, and surprisingly enough- she had fallen in love with me months before. So we started a doomed relationship- it was wonderful and innocent- nothing further than a secret kiss. Only five or so people knew about us. Eventually, our relationship ended as the school year did- we hardly saw eachother over the summer, and when we did- other people were close nearby. WE never officially ended our relationship, but we knew all the same. When the schoolyear started up again (10th grade), I saw J regularly again- and it was very tense between us. For months, we barely spoke to eachother- but all the same, I came to realise that I still was in love with J- if not even more. WE eventually softened up to eachohter again and became close-knit friends again. I suppose it was obvious to our friends, and perhaps even her- when I found the courage to tell her I still loved her, she looked releived and happy- and even gave me a ride home that day, and the week following. I was too shy to say it, so I stood by her while she read a note saying my feelings. She told me she would answer my question "would you still be together with me?". It's been months now since then, and she hassn't given me an answer. On several occasions she's pulled me aside to tell me, but our friends always follow- or time isn't on our side- she has to rush home after school. To make matters worse, my faith prohibits relationships before marriage- but I can't ignore it. I've loved her before I converted to my faith- so there's almost a sense of priority. I still feel so deeply about her- and whenever we are together with friends, there's something I can feel between us- its undeniable. There's no way that J would cuddle with me on a couch, or come running when I call her name, or calm me down over small things that upset me- like getting emotional over war movies because my own family is in the army- if she didn't feel something towards me. A few days ago, I had the luck to pull her aside for a few minutes while we were hanging out with friends- I asked her, "What are we- where are we?" and she jokingly said "homosapiens?" but knew what I meant, and said "I don't know..." . She then said it wasn't the best time to talk about it- and it wasn't. She was sick and on her way home, it was four in the morning- and I was shivering since we were outside (me, not wearing anything but sweatpants and a giant t-shirt in the 15-degree weather). So we said goodbye and she left- and I stayed outside awhile longer. I haven't seen her since- but I will tomorrow at school- and I'm at a loss. It's been two and a half years, and I'm as confused as ever. What should I say to her, or do?
-- Posted by Jman19 at 12:11 am on Jan. 4, 2009
Give her time. I know it's been a long time, but sorry to say, it doesn't seem like she really wants a relationship with you. If she does, she doesn't want one at the moment. I wouldn't say much at all to her, if anything, especially not about your relationship. Good luck!
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