-- Posted by Anonymous at 11:05 am on Jan. 4, 2009 I really like this guy (we'll call him J)...I know the feelings are mutual...I want to be with him so badly. Here is the problem, I'M ENGAGED TO A DIFFERENT GUY (we'll call him T) AND AM CARRYING HIS BABY...Me and 'T' live together, we have since October. last night I dreamed of J again...I've been dreaming of sleeping in his arms...cuddled next to him... it's perfect... I can't wait to fall asleep so I can dream of him and me together. Sadly I talk some in my sleep, last night I dreamed that I woke up and he was just holding me.. watching me sleep. I snuggled closer to him kissed him and said "I love you baby". This morning T told me that he was surprised cause he thought I was asleep but I did to HIM what happened in my dream... I'm worried that J's name is going to slip out during my sleep...but I can't shake the feelings I have... WHAT SHOULD I DO?!? -- Posted by XTCofGOLD at 11:06 am on Jan. 4, 2009 Then why are you with T in the first place? -- Posted by boombabyboom at 11:06 am on Jan. 4, 2009 You're eggo is preggo. Stick to T for the sake of your kid, or you will regret it later on by having an angsty, hate filled teenager. Have fun. -- Posted by Precarious at 11:08 am on Jan. 4, 2009 Quote: from XTCofGOLD at 1:06 pm on Jan. 4, 2009 Then why are you with T in the first place? exactly -- Posted by scott sm at 11:09 am on Jan. 4, 2009 il pretend i read this -- Posted by filliam at 11:09 am on Jan. 4, 2009 Wow, can't give much advice here, sorry.  I just am amused your calling te guy J -- Posted by sadnessness at 11:11 am on Jan. 4, 2009 complicated. I would do what is going to make you happiest, because the kid is worse off if he has two unhappy parents. Two things to think about: Do you love T enough to make it work Does J feel the same way about you and is he a keeper or a passionate fling? -- Posted by Anonymous at 11:13 am on Jan. 4, 2009 T treats me like shit... he is abusive and I'm afriad he'll be the same to the baby...he doesn't want the baby anyway. J already has a baby. he is the best daddy ever! j treats me like a princess and always thinks of me first... I know who me heart says go with but my head is stuck -- Posted by Just Waiting Here at 11:14 am on Jan. 4, 2009 Quote: from boombabyboom at 11:06 am on Jan. 4, 2009 You're eggo is preggo. Stick to T for the sake of your kid, or you will regret it later on by having an angsty, hate filled teenager. Have fun. My parents stayed together for the sake of their kids.  Trust me, I would have much rather they have split up and been happy with their own lives than being miserable, because the arguments, the yelling, the guilt of being the reason they stayed together... it'll never leave me. ---- In terms of what you should do?  It's really up to you.  Sometimes people change their attraction, but do you not care for T?  You said you were engaged to him, but you seem to be having doubts.  There's no need to rush, and if T is ~not~ right for you, then later down the road, it will cause problems. You really need to think about it though... Is J really the right person for you?  Or is it just an infatuation that you are having that will pass?  Is J someone that you could raise a child with, and would he be willing to support that child. I would spend some time reconsidering your current relationship and figuring out whether T is the person you wish to be engaged to.  If T is the one you want to raise a family with and continue living with, then with time, J will fall to the past.  It all depends on what you do in the situation... give yourself some time and figure out what ~you~ think is right for you, and consider what is right for your child.  You need to make sure that both you and your child are happy, so do what you think will achieve that.  That may be one guy or the other, or maybe it will be neither... The fact that the child is actually T's may factor into your situation, so just give yourself some time to decide what is the best decision for you and your child. -- Posted by Just Waiting Here at 11:17 am on Jan. 4, 2009 Quote: from Anonymous at 11:13 am on Jan. 4, 2009 T treats me like shit... he is abusive and I'm afriad he'll be the same to the baby...he doesn't want the baby anyway. J already has a baby. he is the best daddy ever! j treats me like a princess and always thinks of me first... I know who me heart says go with but my head is stuck It's not easy to take the first step... but if you know what's right for you and you child, then do it.  If you're afraid that T will turn around and hurt you, then make sure you get out of there as soon as possible.  If you need to ask someone to come with you for protection when you're moving your things from the house you live in (a friend, parent, something), then do that. Your head may be stuck, but it must also realize what is right.  If he's abusive, it can turn to your child (or if he abuses you during your pregnancy, it can also cause problems and stress).  Take small steps... if J is right for you, then go for it.  If neither is right for you, then go for it.  Just make the choice that will make you happiest... the first step is always the hardest, but it will ultimately lead you to something better, right?  Think of the future, and let that be your motivation. -- Posted by Rawrzerz at 2:41 pm on Jan. 4, 2009 Quote: from Anonymous at 11:13 am on Jan. 4, 2009 T treats me like shit... he is abusive and I'm afriad he'll be the same to the baby...he doesn't want the baby anyway. J already has a baby. he is the best daddy ever! j treats me like a princess and always thinks of me first... I know who me heart says go with but my head is stuck Go with J. You'll be happy. The child will be in a happy environment.