-- Posted by Anonymous at 5:12 am on Jan. 7, 2009 I'm posting this anon because I never thought I'd fall for something like this, I'm actually ashamed. I'm your typical single teenage girl, I like going to parties and if I'm there, then there is a chance I will get with someone if I want to. I'm no slag, its just making out for that night, a bit of fun. People always ask me for advice about how to get guys because I seem to be able to do it so well, but the thing is although I seem so confident I'm actually really shy. I worry a lot about what people think, I'm bad at letting people get close to me and that's probably why, although I've got with lots of people, I've only had 4 boyfriends. So anyway there is a guy, who I've known for years, so it was almost easy to open myself up to him and I admit I like him and I thought the feelings were mutual. The problem is he's just got out of an 18 month relationship so we said we'd keep it quiet for a bit so it didn't seem like he'd just moved straight on to the next thing he saw. But then I was at his house yesterday and he says to me "what are your feelings for me" I replied saying "isn't it obvious? I like you" then, getting slightly worried I asked him the same question. His response is what's had me feeling like a fool, "well.. when someone says they likes you you can't help but like them back right? But I know I'm not ready for anything just yet, so we're keeping it quiet". Maybe its just me being paranoid, but it felt to me like that was his way of saying he wanted nothing but a bit of fun and I'm just there because I like him so that's what he can get. But then I think about the person I know he is, he's not like that, I know he's not. But then why would he say that, which sounds so much like just wanting some fun, if he actually wanted a relationship with me? I always said I would never be one of those people who just ends up being used, but that's what it feels like I'm becoming. -- Posted by Lady Catastrophic at 5:16 am on Jan. 7, 2009 Honestly he may just really be scared about getting into another relationship with someone after having been in such a long one you know? 18 months... that is a long time, and their was probably drama, and people sticking their noses in it constantly. He may just be trying to take things slow. However the red flags will go up if he is solely physical, but continuing to say to keep it on the DL. If he isn't rushing into the relationship, taking it slow both emotionally and physically I guarantee you he is not using you. -- Posted by Wolf at 5:17 am on Jan. 7, 2009 My suggestion is to try to your best not to allow him to use you, but at the same time, acknowledge that he did just get out of a huge relationship, and he needs some time.  Don't let him get too sexual with you, lest you get hurt if it doesn't work out.  Just tell him you want to be friends for a bit, and when HE is ready, then you can go from there.  =)  It should be comforting if he isn't just B.Sing you, and if he is, then he will just pull away, and you won't be as hurt as you otherwise would be. -- Posted by HeavenShallBurn at 5:18 am on Jan. 7, 2009 If he is sayin that and trying to have sex, then yea, he is uiseing you, but if he dont try to do all that, then he is prolly just trying to get over his past relaionship, 18months is a LONG time -- Posted by runthespread at 5:19 am on Jan. 7, 2009 I'm like that too, shy but people perceive me to be more outgoing and getting girls and stuff. Keep your guard up, you should be anyways since you're aware that he just got out of a long relationship. Chances are, he likes you but he's not over his last relationship so he can't just jump into liking you the same way you like him. -- Posted by save the world at 5:19 am on Jan. 7, 2009 That wasn't a fortunate way of wording indeed. A bit like saying, 'I like the fact that you like me', which doesn't necessarily mean that he likes you the way you like him. Talk it out. -- Posted by north star15 at 5:23 am on Jan. 7, 2009 give it some time..really oh and be there for him as much as you can don't make yourself look so easy. -- Posted by snowcone200 at 8:10 am on Jan. 7, 2009 If he dosen't think your worthy enough to be his actual girlfriend in public. Then you should question his imtentions like you are now. If he won't date you now amd giving you this run-around. end it