-- Posted by guitargogo90 at 2:59 pm on Jan. 7, 2009 So, I'm not the mother of a 12 day old baby. A few nights ago, when she was being especially fussy, her father (or my boyfriend, which ever you wanna call him) got a bit rough with her. He wasn't putting her in any serious harm but he was rough housing. My family is really pissed at him and doesn't even want to let him into their homes. We're suppose to go to parenting classes and all this crap because someone filed a report that he was abusive. Basically I'm really torn. I love Chris but I hate his behavior. I just really don't know what to do. I want this to work, but some people say that he will never change...HELP -- Posted by scout123 at 3:00 pm on Jan. 7, 2009 better to tackle the problem now and go to the classes before it possbly gets worse -- Posted by Points at 3:00 pm on Jan. 7, 2009 Quote: from scout123 at 11:00 pm on Jan. 7, 2009 better to tackle the problem now and go to the classes before it possbly gets worse I agree. It is possible for him to change. If he's putting your baby in danger though... I wouldn't leave him alone with him/her. -- Posted by Natsy at 3:01 pm on Jan. 7, 2009 baby comes first now. get rid of the bastard, he's been nothing but a dick by the sounds of your posts xx -- Posted by xPicturesOfYou3 at 3:01 pm on Jan. 7, 2009 Quote: from scout123 at 3:00 pm on Jan. 7, 2009 better to tackle the problem now and go to the classes before it possbly gets worse Agreed. -- Posted by hazeleyedangel at 3:01 pm on Jan. 7, 2009 People can change if they want to. Try it and see if he does change. If not then at least you tried. -- Posted by starla91 at 3:02 pm on Jan. 7, 2009 Talk to him, explain your predicament. Set a time limit. If he hasn't improved his behaviour you've got to say good bye to him. His border-line abusive behaviour could easily develop into real abuse and that's something you don't want to happen. Regardless of how much you love him I hope you love yourself and your child more because if he behaves poorly you both deserve better. -- Posted by guitargogo90 at 3:02 pm on Jan. 7, 2009 Quote: from Natsy at 6:01 pm on Jan. 7, 2009 baby comes first now. get rid of the bastard, he's been nothing but a dick by the sounds of your posts xx yeah, i think you told me to get rid of him before, and i'm starting to think you're right -- Posted by latric3 at 3:02 pm on Jan. 7, 2009 The parenting classes should help him understand the delicacy of a infant if he's too dumb to know that himself. Sounds like you had a  baby by a douche. Anywho always put your baby first, and keep it safe no matter what. -- Posted by kissmeintherain91 at 3:02 pm on Jan. 7, 2009 Why'd you say you're not the mother? -- Posted by Natsy at 3:03 pm on Jan. 7, 2009 Quote: from guitargogo90 at 11:02 pm on Jan. 7, 2009 Quote: from Natsy at 6:01 pm on Jan. 7, 2009 baby comes first now. get rid of the bastard, he's been nothing but a dick by the sounds of your posts xx yeah, i think you told me to get rid of him before, and i'm starting to think you're right i probably did and even though it could be hard, it will be better in the long run. guys like him don't change. -- Posted by error at 3:03 pm on Jan. 7, 2009 if he dosnt change soon you need to get rid of him or the baby, you better keep that baby out of danger, and never leave it alone with him. -- Posted by JeanClaude at 3:04 pm on Jan. 7, 2009 You can try to work things out with your boyfriend for the rest of your life, but you have to protect your baby and his best interests now. Don't put your child in any danger because of an irresponsible father. -- Posted by guitargogo90 at 3:04 pm on Jan. 7, 2009 Quote: from kissmeintherain91 at 6:02 pm on Jan. 7, 2009 Why'd you say you're not the mother? sorry i meant NOW the mother...my bad -- Posted by Fauna at 3:10 pm on Jan. 7, 2009 I would not put up with someone acting aggresively towards my two week old baby. that is sick. -- Posted by tigard at 3:10 pm on Jan. 7, 2009 Quote: from guitargogo90 at 3:04 pm on Jan. 7, 2009 Quote: from kissmeintherain91 at 6:02 pm on Jan. 7, 2009 Why'd you say you're not the mother? sorry i meant NOW the mother...my bad I'm glad you clarified this because I was totally confused.  Now all is better in my mind. As others have said, concern for your child must come first.  You say you love Chris, but hate his bahavior.  Well, parenting classes may be the way for him to change his behavior.  Although no parent likes to be reported, that person was concerned for your child.   If after the parenting classes have ended Chris's behavior hasn't changed significantly, you need to end it.  If it doesn't get better, it'll only get worse and your baby deserves better.  BUt all three of you deserve to find out if Chris can become a worthy father and partner.  Good luck.