Pages: 1 2  Next -- Posted by erikkk at 12:51 am on Jan. 8, 2009 k well growing up as a chunky kid makes a low self esteem obviously and i have never had a girlfriend and i find it incredibly sad, i talk to girls but i find it so hard and just dont know what to FUCKING say now that ive grown up when i entered high school i was 220 lbs. and then as a sophmore 200 and now a junior and im 5'9 175 lbs. and i know that i got a chance for a girl but so many FUCKING self esteem fuck-up habbits and i can't even engage in a goood conversation with a girl, habbits such as masturbation can be very addicting for guys and i struggle with it and plus it lowers my self esteem and gives me dirty thoughts 2nd i have a marijuana addicition and i can't have a girl if all i think about is weed is fucking HARD, with my friends im a likeable guy i talk to the girls and shit but i just don't know how to get with them and i makes me feel fuckin miserable seeing all the guys at high school having the time of their lives makin out with their girl sometimes i find myself always talkin about drugs with other potheads and i just dont know what to do... -- Posted by LtrOusRtD at 12:53 am on Jan. 8, 2009 You can always get a girl.. or wait for a girl to get you -- Posted by DopeSickGirl at 12:53 am on Jan. 8, 2009 firstly.pot= not addictive secondly, you need to get laid. like pretty bad. thirdly, you need to get laid. like BAD -- Posted by playboy666 at 12:54 am on Jan. 8, 2009 same here man no gurlz like me -- Posted by Tubbz at 12:57 am on Jan. 8, 2009 There's no way you can blame not getting a girlfriend on your weight, self esteem maybe but being big is no reason not to get a girlfriend. Get off the pot then, you're not addicted, you're being a cock about it, just stop smoking it. Also, if you can talk to the girls as friends, ask one of them to meet you on your own. -- Posted by Mein Alias at 12:57 am on Jan. 8, 2009 Quote: from playboy666 at 12:54 am on Jan. 8, 2009 same here man no gurlz like me Probably because you cant spell girls. -- Posted by nickkelly at 12:57 am on Jan. 8, 2009 Quote: from playboy666 at 12:54 am on Jan. 8, 2009 same here man no gurlz like me LMAO maybe cause ur name is playboy666 and ur lil sayin is "rock out with your cock out" HAHAHAAHAH -- Posted by erikkk at 12:59 am on Jan. 8, 2009 omg you may think weed is not addictive but it is for a poor of a person as me that can't buy luxuries that mid class ppl do and i didnt include that i do a lot of ecstasy shrrooms and weed weed is just something i get by with, with the little feeling that i get from it AND FUCK YES I KNOW I NEED TO GET LAID you're obviously not the first to tell me that but there is always abstinence man jeez -- Posted by Tubbz at 1:01 am on Jan. 8, 2009 Weed is totally non-addictive, the pills and shrooms are relatively non-addictive. If you're poor and you can afford drugs, then you can afford "luxuries" as you put it. -- Posted by erikkk at 1:06 am on Jan. 8, 2009 YOU obviously are not thinking there are ppl who are strong willed and there are ppl with addictive personalities and ecstasy is DEFINATELY addictive take it from me and the ppl i know k? research a little more, im not makin confilct i just need help and you're not understanding fully, ill also include last year until now ive dislocated my arm 8 times i need surgery but i cant fuckin afford it i live in a apartment i sleep in the livingroom for the past 4 years k so things are more complicated than they seem -- Posted by Tubbz at 1:11 am on Jan. 8, 2009 Unless your arm's not in place properly, you don't need surgery for a dislocated arm, trust me, I've put mine out more than that. I didn't say ecstasy wasn't addictive, I said relatively. Besides, you're the one who was claiming you were addicted to weed. You may have a hard life, but it's hardly relevant to what you're complaining about. You can still meet girls in a neutral location, people don't have to know about your home life. -- Posted by bmxboy at 1:12 am on Jan. 8, 2009 drugs are expencive so thats why you cant afford luxuries. you need to settle down people telling you that drugs are inaddictive isnt going to help! you need to get off them slowly and eventually give them up completely. what about one drug? shrooms for example? try and cut down and give up on just them? and them move on to the other drugs. dont think of it as - when i give up i can get this girl i want cos then you'll wander if you'll enjoy the "company" without the drugs. remember that once you wake up in the moring it's only HABIT that makes you take your first puff cos the addiction has worn off. after your first puff (or whateva) your body takes the hit and craves it! dont even think about a girl until you have atleast stopped the drugs in part! -- Posted by imSOFAKINGrad at 1:15 am on Jan. 8, 2009 Quote: from Mein Alias at 12:57 am on Jan. 8, 2009 Quote: from playboy666 at 12:54 am on Jan. 8, 2009 same here man no gurlz like me Probably because you cant spell girls. lol seriously. -- Posted by Tubbz at 1:16 am on Jan. 8, 2009 Quote: from bmxboy at 9:12 am on Jan. 8, 2009 drugs are expensive so thats why you cant afford luxuries. you need to settle down people telling you that drugs are in-addictive isn't going to help! you need to get off them slowly and eventually give them up completely. what about one drug? shrooms for example? try and cut down and give up on just them? and them move on to the other drugs. don't think of it as - when i give up i can get this girl i want cos then you'll wander if you'll enjoy the "company" without the drugs. remember that once you wake up in the morning it's only HABIT that makes you take your first puff cos the addiction has worn off. after your first puff (or whatever) your body takes the hit and craves it! don't even think about a girl until you have at least stopped the drugs in part! This with spelling corrections. -- Posted by erikkk at 1:16 am on Jan. 8, 2009 as a teen if you've dislocated your arm you got 93 percent the rest of your life thats what the doctors told and if ive dislocated it that many times of course my arm is unstable i go through pain everyday cuz of it, AND ok if you want to be literal about what i said then fine, i meant the first drug i tried obviously is weed and then tried the others i mentioned and now i try them altogether,i posted that shit for help or something to make me feel better thanks for the fucking insincere advice it doesn't help at all -- Posted by erikkk at 1:19 am on Jan. 8, 2009 except for what bmxboy said there's somewhere to start -- Posted by Tubbz at 1:22 am on Jan. 8, 2009 But at the end of the day, what you said is you have a weed addiction. You're throwing in other shit now to justify why you can't get a girlfriend. To me, you're gay or something and need to aim for guys. You're putting up barriers to justify not getting a girlfriend. All the shit asside, you seem like an OK guy, you just don't want to make more of it with girls. Either ask a girl to go somewhere with you and just talk on your own, or straight up ask someone out, it's the only way it's going to happen! -- Posted by Satine at 1:26 am on Jan. 8, 2009 Quote: from erikkk at 12:59 am on Jan. 8, 2009 omg you may think weed is not addictive but it is for a poor of a person as me that can't buy luxuries that mid class ppl do Right, I'll suggest for a start that there are many people in your financial position - you're not at a tactical disadvantage for not being able to buy anything you want at a whim. Girls/women are attracted to attitude. Some may well like money, but please credit us with more than that - we're not all gold diggers, you know. Weed is not physically addictive, but it sounds like you're psychologically dependant on it, which isn't helping you. We all need something to depend on, but you're filling too much of your time with weed. Cut down on it and try to find something else to fill your time with. I'd suggest actively going out so that you increase your chances of finding a girl. and i didnt include that i do a lot of ecstasy shrrooms and weed I'd venture that E is good for finding a girl, as it's a sociable drug. But what you want to do with that information is up to you. AND FUCK YES I KNOW I NEED TO GET LAID you're obviously not the first to tell me that I recognise the state of wanting something so much you sabotage the very thing you're trying to get. It may not be easy, but I'd suggest you try to put the sex thing out of your mind as much as possible - if you're preoccupied with other things, what you want will come to you naturally. Put yourself in social situations where there are girls and seek to build friendships with them. However much you want sex, females are still complex human beings who can be good friends, so make sure you cultivate some. Once you have a particular female friend you want to take things further with, then you'll be on the home run to getting the sex life you crave. Good luck. P.S. If you feel a lack of self-esteem, then fake confidence. I know, I know: it's hard to do that. But I'm not particularly confident and I'm faking it all the time. Most people around me think I'm extremely confident. Just turn it into a game: see if you can trick others into believing you are confident. No need to be all loud and brassy; just quietly go and do stuff like talking to new people, going somewhere different, take the initiative etc. with no frills and everyone'll think you're confident. Works a charm for me. -- Posted by erikkk at 1:28 am on Jan. 8, 2009 once again you're having trouble fully understanding i have developed a fucking low self esteem and it just makes me scared and i chicken out its a difficult sitiuation for me and i'll feel more pathetic and just go do some drugs FUCK -- Posted by Tubbz at 1:30 am on Jan. 8, 2009 I understand you have low self esteem, what I'm saying is if you don't ask and fail once or twice, you'll never get over it, so grow some balls and ask a girl. -- Posted by Satine at 1:31 am on Jan. 8, 2009 Sometimes the only answer is to tough it out - and I'm afraid that's the best answer for you. Believe me, you're not the first to have low self-esteem and you're not the last. The world isn't going to change to fit around your lack of confidence, so you're the one who has to work at it. I don't mean that to sound harsh, but if you want a direct comment on the situation then that's mine. -- Posted by erikkk at 1:34 am on Jan. 8, 2009 yes i know what you're talking about satine about ecstasy being sociable and of course ive talked to manyyyyyy girls when im on E but never got with them and i of course can not think about sex obviously since i have never had sex to get addictted to it but my male hormones make me go crazyyy all i can do is just  start at all the fine women that i see -- Posted by erikkk at 1:36 am on Jan. 8, 2009 ok welllllllllllll thanks i guess -- Posted by Tubbz at 1:36 am on Jan. 8, 2009 Quote: from erikkk at 9:34 am on Jan. 8, 2009 yes i know what you're talking about satine about ecstasy being sociable and of course ive talked to manyyyyyy girls when im on E but never got with them and i of course can not think about sex obviously since i have never had sex to get addictted to it but my male hormones make me go crazyyy all i can do is just start at all the fine women that i see You don't have to have sex to be addicted to it. It's not something you want to get addicted to either, it can be a dangerous addiction. Just talk to a girl. Take her off somewhere and talk to her, even if you're not attracted to her. -- Posted by erikkk at 1:40 am on Jan. 8, 2009 ok tubbz thanks i got to get off de drugs i havent been able to for the past 3 years -- Posted by Tubbz at 1:42 am on Jan. 8, 2009 Even if you don't get off the drugs, just try and take a girl off somewhere on your own and go from there. -- Posted by Tubbz at 1:46 am on Jan. 8, 2009 Even if you don't get off the drugs, just try and take a girl off somewhere on your own and go from there. -- Posted by erikkk at 1:48 am on Jan. 8, 2009 its a challenge :P but w/e -- Posted by Satine at 1:50 am on Jan. 8, 2009 Okay, well if it's making the leap from friendship to partnership you're asking about, then I'd try this: - when you're talking to a girl, make plenty of eye contact with her (different to staring, but make sure you're regularly looking in her eyes - it's better communication and suggests you're confident). - Suggest to her that you both meet again because you enjoyed talking to her. - Give her the opportunity to speak more than listen by asking open questions. Offer a bit of information about yourself, but keep it at a ratio of about 3:1. This takes the pressure off you and leaves a feeling of mystery about you. - As for breaking the physical barrier, touch her hand or arm when you're talking to her. - Remember that there's a strong culture of 'good girls don't', which means that we feel a bit of an incentive not to have sex. However, we do still want to. If you hint at wanting to sleep with a girl and she says, 'I'm not sure', that's her saying, 'I want to but feel that it would be bad of me'. This is your cue to kiss her / whatever else is apt so that you're taking the lead. Needless to say, 'no' means no and should be honoured. You might get a yes from some uninhibited girls, but the above might be quite common. An extra tip for that is that, you could get another clue if you start to remove a girl's clothes (say, take off a scarf or undo one button on her top) and then stop. If she doesn't adjust it again for modesty then you know you can try to go a bit further. Maybe Tubbz can offer more clues, but that's about all I've got as a straight female! -- Posted by Tubbz at 1:50 am on Jan. 8, 2009 That's the idea, it's going to be hard to do, but go for it, anything's got to be better than wondering "what if"? Pages: 1 2  Next