-- Posted by biSEXual at 12:51 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 how do you tell your bf you cheated on him, and not have him freak out. He's suicidal, and im sooooo depressed lately. I dont know if i can tell him, but the guilt is consuming me. -- Posted by FiendWeathers at 12:52 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 Then maybe you shouldn't have been stupid by cheating on him. -- Posted by theboxman at 12:52 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 there is no good way -- Posted by Trashed at 12:52 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 Well the best way is just to blurt it out but after give your explanation as to why you did it, don't just say nothing because it will only make it worse. -- Posted by biSEXual at 12:52 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 Im not saying it was smart. -- Posted by dorothyedgmon at 12:53 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 talk to him in a calm voice dont cry or anything and talk with him about it if you break up so be it. he'll move on -- Posted by psychotickid666 at 12:53 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 you'll prolly eventually put it out of your mind. -- Posted by bmxboy at 12:55 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 wtf? if he's suicidal i have to admit, in your shoes, i wouldnt tell. i think you shouldnt mention it and break up gently over time. if you cheated then you clearly think something is missing from your relationship! -- Posted by HiggledyPiggledy at 12:55 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 Come out with it, tell him the truth. The shame you'll experience should be enough never to cheat on a guy again. Only what hes reaction will be, I'd hestitate to say. But - by owning up, and telling the truth, you'll be sure never to cheat on anyone ever again. Often we learn the hard way. My late mother said it's all part of our growing up.   -- Posted by Kitty Kiska at 12:56 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 Just go out and say it... sometimes simplicity is the best way to handle a situation. -- Posted by The Fantasy at 12:57 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 I can see him killing himself. -- Posted by hithere at 12:58 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 "i cheated on you but don't kill yourself because i'll do whatever you want to make up for it" -- Posted by A6stringpoet at 12:59 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 Honestly, if you cheated on your boyfriend and he's also suicidal, I suggest getting out of your current relationship. It is likely that your depression is caused both by his instability and by your act. I often say that cheating is a sign of someone who was not ready to commit, but wanted the stability of a boy/girlfriend near by. Right now you have worst of both worlds, and honestly, I believe you 'll need to move on. It is best not to let him know that you cheated, unless STDs are involved. Letting him know would only deepen his anxiety further than it needs to be. For his sake and yours, break it off, and leave the situation alone. -- Posted by danndivision at 12:59 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 there is no easy way to tell your BF you cheated, maybe you shouldnt have cheated in the first place -- Posted by biSEXual at 1:00 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 Quote: from The Fantasy at 12:57 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 I can see him killing himself. oh wow thanx sooo much. i didnt know i was betting on wether he lived or died. -- Posted by Natsy at 1:02 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 you don't...? -- Posted by The Fantasy at 1:05 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 Quote: from biSEXual at 9:00 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 Quote: from The Fantasy at 12:57 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 I can see him killing himself. oh wow thanx sooo much. i didnt know i was betting on wether he lived or died. well, it wasa pretty stupid idea, to cheat on him, and to then want to tell him, when you know he's suicidal and depressed. it's pretty obvious, that it could push him over the edge. -- Posted by Parsine at 1:05 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 You'll depress him further just so you don't have to feel guilty any longer? How selfish. -- Posted by msjjohnson1 at 1:16 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 ha ha... you don't -- Posted by hithere at 1:16 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 Quote: from A6stringpoet at 12:59 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 Honestly, if you cheated on your boyfriend and he's also suicidal, I suggest getting out of your current relationship. It is likely that your depression is caused both by his instability and by your act. I often say that cheating is a sign of someone who was not ready to commit, but wanted the stability of a boy/girlfriend near by. Right now you have worst of both worlds, and honestly, I believe you 'll need to move on. It is best not to let him know that you cheated, unless STDs are involved. Letting him know would only deepen his anxiety further than it needs to be.   For his sake and yours, break it off, and leave the situation alone. breakups suck as well for suicidal people -- Posted by Soccerchik107 at 1:17 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 First off, if he was suicidal, I wouldn't be with him in the first place.   Second, if you want to maintain a relationship with him, talk with him and explain to him how much you care about him, and then break it to him gently. Also, tell him you don't want to end the relationship and you realize it was a mistake. -- Posted by A6stringpoet at 1:26 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 Quote: from hithere at 1:16 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 Quote: from A6stringpoet at 12:59 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 Honestly, if you cheated on your boyfriend and he's also suicidal, I suggest getting out of your current relationship. It is likely that your depression is caused both by his instability and by your act. I often say that cheating is a sign of someone who was not ready to commit, but wanted the stability of a boy/girlfriend near by. Right now you have worst of both worlds, and honestly, I believe you 'll need to move on. It is best not to let him know that you cheated, unless STDs are involved. Letting him know would only deepen his anxiety further than it needs to be.  For his sake and yours, break it off, and leave the situation alone. breakups suck as well for suicidal people Yes but, prepetuating a relationship just because someone is suicidal is extremely unhealthy for both people. I had an ex girlfriend who threatened to kill herself if I left. I told her that I hoped that she wouldn't do it but that I had made up my mind. You can not mandate affection. If they killed themselves, it would not be the other person's fault. That is an extremely unfair burden, even if the person was unfaithful. (Though I wasn't unfaithful in that other relationship) -- Posted by hithere at 2:04 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 but weren't you scared that she might actually do it? it could happen...if you care about someone and sometimes you really like the time you spend with them, it has to be hard to take the chance whether or not it's your fault is quite a secondary issue -- Posted by A6stringpoet at 5:00 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 of course I was scared, but that actually was a non issue in and of itself, since I could have no reasonable bearing on whether of not she would kill herself. It is a sick ultimatum if you ask me. I felt bad for her, but people have to just try to cope. There really is no reason to kill yourself, especially relationships.