Pages: 1 2  Next -- Posted by The Last Magister at 3:43 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 It's nice knowing you have total control over your life because it doesn't really have any value to you anymore. It feels like...utter freedom. To not care what happens to you for other's sakes. Wouldn't you agree? -- Posted by J U S T at 3:44 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 I care about me. I find it liberating not to care much about other people. -- Posted by The Last Magister at 3:45 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 Quote: from JustKissedLilly at 5:44 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 I care about me. I find it liberating not to care much about other people. But then you still have something to lose. -- Posted by Chernobyl at 3:45 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 Absolutely.  Ignore your problems and they cease to exist. -- Posted by Luvme4eva at 3:45 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 Lately, that's how I've looked at it. -- Posted by Craziie at 3:47 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 I like being.. stress-free..if that counts xD -- Posted by SpRiNgS at 3:47 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 naw can't say I do but thten again i'm not depressed. Youshould care about you for your sake though :/ just saying -- Posted by The Last Magister at 3:48 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 Quote: from Springs at 5:47 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 naw can't say I do but thten again i'm not depressed. Youshould care about you for your sake though :/ just saying No, not really. I'm not worth it. -- Posted by SpRiNgS at 3:50 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 you're saying that now cause you're emotionally drained i'm guessing. You feel no sense of worth or value so now you're going through te motions of being defeated. USually this is a lull period that some people go through but since idk you personally I can't say what it is. -- Posted by The Last Magister at 3:51 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 Quote: from Springs at 5:50 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 you're saying that now cause you're emotionally drained i'm guessing. You feel no sense of worth or value so now you're going through te motions of being defeated. USually this is a lull period that some people go through but since idk you personally I can't say what it is. It's a place I've been for a long time, and those were the first four months of my life where I wasn't. I'm done trying to escape it. -- Posted by SpRiNgS at 3:57 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 Quote: from TheLastMagister at 3:51 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 Quote: from Springs at 5:50 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 you're saying that now cause you're emotionally drained i'm guessing. You feel no sense of worth or value so now you're going through te motions of being defeated. USually this is a lull period that some people go through but since idk you personally I can't say what it is. It's a place I've been for a long time, and those were the first four months of my life where I wasn't. I'm done trying to escape it. so what caused you to escape it in the first place anyways? and if tiw as four months, it's better than having t e say.30 minutes "/ and besides you're how old? sixteen? you got a LOT of life ahead of you.to give up now wouldn't be good -- Posted by The Last Magister at 4:01 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 Quote: from Springs at 5:57 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 Quote: from TheLastMagister at 3:51 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 Quote: from Springs at 5:50 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 you're saying that now cause you're emotionally drained i'm guessing. You feel no sense of worth or value so now you're going through te motions of being defeated. USually this is a lull period that some people go through but since idk you personally I can't say what it is.    It's a place I've been for a long time, and those were the first four months of my life where I wasn't. I'm done trying to escape it. so what caused you to escape it in the first place anyways? and if tiw as four months, it's better than having t e say.30 minutes "/ and besides you're how old? sixteen? you got a LOT of life ahead of you.to give up now wouldn't be good I started getting to be what I am when my step-dad first told me how I was worthless, and a liar that would end up dead in a gutter with no one remembering who I was. It doesn't even matter anymore, I don't care. I am not going to have a lifetime of this. I refuse. -- Posted by SpRiNgS at 4:03 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 so you say you dont care but you dont want a lifetiem o this? I already see you stirring for something better -- Posted by The Last Magister at 4:04 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 Quote: from Springs at 6:03 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 so you say you dont care but you dont want a lifetiem o this? I already see you stirring for something better As in I just lost the last person I was ever going to trust, they were my last chance I was giving before I locked everyone out of my head for good. It's safe when no one can get in it, because it doesn't hurt when they leave, like they always do. -- Posted by SpRiNgS at 4:06 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 so you just wan to be alone? understandable -- Posted by theyareAs at 4:06 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 Hitting rock bottom is liberating, there are no rules. but gud luck, it wont last long -- Posted by The Last Magister at 4:09 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 Quote: from Springs at 6:06 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 so you just wan to be alone? understandable Actually I want to be dead, but she made me promise not to off myself. Although right now I am really wondering if I could just disappear to her and not say anything. -- Posted by SpRiNgS at 4:11 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 you do realize offing yourself this young is the worst possible thing you could do right? but if you want to disappear to "her" whoever she is, then you can cant you? just dont talk to her anymore? -- Posted by The Last Magister at 4:16 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 Quote: from Springs at 6:11 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 you do realize offing yourself this young is the worst possible thing you could do right? but if you want to disappear to "her" whoever she is, then you can cant you? just dont talk to her anymore? I can't die wondering if she thought I was dead or not, and if it was her fault. It isn't, but I still... Offing myself now, my only regret would be that I hadn't before I met her. -- Posted by SpRiNgS at 4:24 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 this ounds like break up depression to be honest so she broke you heart that bad? -- Posted by The Last Magister at 4:26 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 Quote: from Springs at 6:24 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 this ounds like break up depression to be honest so she broke you heart that bad? No. When she met me I was already suicidal. I have nothing to live for, I'm ready to die now. -- Posted by SpRiNgS at 4:30 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 well whatever she saw in you, reason would lead me to believe that ohters see those qualities in you. To kill yoursel fnow would probably deprive a future person from meeting you and enjoying these great qualities. -- Posted by The Last Magister at 4:40 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 Quote: from Springs at 6:30 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 well whatever she saw in you, reason would lead me to believe that ohters see those qualities in you. To kill yoursel fnow would probably deprive a future person from meeting you and enjoying these great qualities. I don't want another person, I just want to be done with everything. I just want to die. I have no will to live anymore, I have no want to try again, I don't want to find something to live for. I just want to die. -- Posted by SpRiNgS at 4:51 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 Quote: from TheLastMagister at 4:40 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 Quote: from Springs at 6:30 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 well whatever she saw in you, reason would lead me to believe that ohters see those qualities in you. To kill yoursel fnow would probably deprive a future person from meeting you and enjoying these great qualities. I don't want another person, I just want to be done with everything. I just want to die. I have no will to live anymore, I have no want to try again, I don't want to find something to live for. I just want to die. You dont have to have another person. you're too young to or too blinded to realize taht here will be other people you'll feel the same way about. all this talk of wantign to die is a bit immature, seriously. Deathis it, the end, you wont have anything to do, you're talking like you have nothing to truly live for. Have you even graduated yet? have a chance to be on your own? be free from ALL expectations? be your own man? -- Posted by The Last Magister at 4:55 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 Quote: from Springs at 6:51 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 Quote: from TheLastMagister at 4:40 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 Quote: from Springs at 6:30 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 well whatever she saw in you, reason would lead me to believe that ohters see those qualities in you. To kill yoursel fnow would probably deprive a future person from meeting you and enjoying these great qualities.    I don't want another person, I just want to be done with everything. I just want to die. I have no will to live anymore, I have no want to try again, I don't want to find something to live for. I just want to die. You dont have to have another person. you're too young to or too blinded to realize taht here will be other people you'll feel the same way about. all this talk of wantign to die is a bit immature, seriously. Deathis it, the end, you wont have anything to do, you're talking like you have nothing to truly live for. Have you even graduated yet? have a chance to be on your own? be free from ALL expectations? be your own man? I think you are the one who doesn't get it. I DONT WANT THERE TO BE ANYTHING AFTERWARDS. I want it to be the end of me existing, I want to just stop everything, I don't ever want to know or think anything again, I don't want to feel, I don't want anything. I just want to die. That's all I want. I don't want an afterlife, I don't want hell, or heaven, I just want to be dead. That is it. -- Posted by cash666 at 5:00 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 why?? the world will mis you dude. we need you. is she not a reason to live? i live for the people around me and would even give my life to save a friend or family, anyone close to me but to jus WASTE my life.. i couldn't do that or let you do that. life can be hard granted but its worth it. i told myself a long time ago i would never  wish to die again... thats something i dont realy like discussing... look dude please dont die. people DO care about you you know your ARE important. tell urself that each day. write it on the walls if you have to. (love ur pic btw ^_^) oh yeah when i get depressed like that i get a new hobby and meet new ppl (yeah ive got a lot of hobbies now no time to be depressed hhehehe) -- Posted by SpRiNgS at 5:00 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 i get it but ot me it just sounds like you're depressed about a bigtime break up you're gonna gonna hopefully get over it once you  stop feeling sorry for yourself and realize the truth and that you're not worthless, you only suck if you think you suck. Your problem has always been you let others get to you. you have soft skin. need to get some thick skin, or, in other words, grow some balls seriously.........you let shit get to you way too much to have this turning you suicidal and dont think i'm sayign this with malicious intent. You're a smart kid, you show flashes of brilliance, but you hamper yourself ahnd muddy it when you decide to play with peons at their own level and let them drag you down. You could be great once you learn to not let people get to you, -- Posted by The Last Magister at 5:01 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 It didn't turn me suicidal, that's what you don't understand. I was suicidal before her, and after I am the way I was before, I just want to leave. That's all I want. I don't want to be around anymore. -- Posted by SpRiNgS at 5:05 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 Quote: from TheLastMagister at 5:01 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 It didn't turn me suicidal, that's what you don't understand. I was suicidal before her, and after I am the way I was before, I just want to leave. That's all I want. I don't want to be around anymore. so you're regressing instead of growing up? thats what it seems like you had a moment, but now you're back to thinking you're worthless cause soemoen showed interest in you, then lost it. so now tha they gave up on you you regress back into the kid who doesnt believe in himself? I find that to be a lie you obviously find pride in how smart you are...this is really seeming like a phase to me -- Posted by The Last Magister at 5:08 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 Quote: from Springs at 7:05 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 Quote: from TheLastMagister at 5:01 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 It didn't turn me suicidal, that's what you don't understand. I was suicidal before her, and after I am the way I was before, I just want to leave. That's all I want. I don't want to be around anymore. so you're regressing instead of growing up? thats what it seems like you had a moment, but now you're back to thinking you're worthless cause soemoen showed interest in you, then lost it. so now tha they gave up on you you regress back into the kid who doesnt believe in himself? I find that to be a lie you obviously find pride in how smart you are...this is really seeming like a phase to me Unless 12 years of my life are a phase I really don't think so. When I was with her was a phase, it was a nice time to show me what I could never have. I've lost everyone who is close to, I really don't think you understand, I have lost EVERYONE. Pages: 1 2  Next