-- Posted by silentsea92 at 6:39 pm on Jan. 8, 2009 A friend died on october 26 We weren't even that close but I feel horrible. I feel so so so sad. I wish sooooooo bad that I hung out with her more and stayed in touch with her and its like, I randomly gets these huge waves of sadness when I think about her. I was just looking through some pics on my myspace and found a comment she left on one of them and i'm having a moment again. she had so much life ahead of her. its not fair. i'm such a crap of a human being. I don't even live life. and i want to for her. I want to get better and live my life, its so short. I miss her so bad, and I wish I was a better friend and I put more effort into our friendship and got to know her better -- Posted by Hoebag at 1:43 am on Jan. 9, 2009 Hey there, Death effects everyone even if the person who died wasn't someone who was necessarily close to us, knowing that someone who was even just a small part in our lives has passed away can be a terrible experience, it makes us think so much about the people around us and our own lives. It's normal that you feel sad even though you hardly knew this girl. A lot of the time death is unfair on people, young people die who did have so much ahead of them and it can make us sad. But, celebrate their life, don't dwell on their death, I'm sure they wouldn't want people to be sad. However, take this time to re-evaluate your life and think about how you could start living your life now, put your effort into starting to make your life the way you want it to be, have no regrets, make your own mistakes but most of all, have fun because that is the most important of all. Think about the other people in your life, cherish the time you have with them, don't let any second go to waste. Take all the chances you can and just enjoy yourself. That way, if anything bad happens, at least you can say you made the most of what you had with this other person, you can truly celebrate their life. Right now, wishing you could be their friend, wishing you could go back in time, none of this is going to change, act on what can be acted on, see what could be, not what could've been. I hope things get easier soon. -- Posted by amiee at 6:08 pm on Jan. 9, 2009 One of the hardest things to cope with after someone dies is thinking of all the things you could have or should have done. Now that that person isn't around any longer it's easy to look back and think of all the ways you could have been a better friend. But it's not really doing you any good, is it? You were how you were when she was alive, and that was enough for you at the time. You appreciated the friendship for what it was and I'll bet she did too. Also, try not to feel awful just because you weren't close. We're all affected by death differently and this is your way of grieving right now. It's ok to feel sad, really it is. It's ok to think about her life and to wish she was still alive and to feel angry and bitter about it. That's what the death of a friend does to a lot of people, y'know? It shows us the harsh realities of life. You're not a crap human being. I know my saying that won't make a huge amount of difference to how you're feeling right now, but I'd say you're only feeling like that because you can see how easily and how quickly a person can lose life, and you can also see the value in life! That's a good thing in a way, don't you think? It sounds like the death of your friend is maybe the first death you've experienced of someone close to you? I don't just want to make random assumptions, but due to you sort of pondering over life and feeling so bad about yourself I'd say it was a pretty good guess. I honestly think this is all part of the grieving process too. You're reflecting on life, on your own life and on how people live their lives. That's ok and it's honestly pretty normal. I truly am sorry about your friend. Losing a friend - losing anyone - is incredibly difficult to deal with. However, it's sort of opened your eyes somewhat, don't you think? You can see how you want your friendships to be now and you can see how you want to live your life now. Embrace that and do it. For her. Do it for her and for her memory. Take a hold of your life and live it in the way you want. Like you said, it's too short not to. It's ok to miss her. You always will and she'll always be in your heart. It'll get easier though, day by day. It's ok to think about her but remember the lessons you've learned from all of this - remember to live.