-- Posted by Anonymous at 10:56 pm on Jan. 9, 2009 As in, it was at the point where the only thing keeping you alive was you promised someone you wouldn't die? It had gotten to the point where you felt there was no purpose to now, or ever, that your whole life has been on repeat and always will be, that nothing will ever change and you are stuck forever? Like you weren't really living anymore, and life was like watching from outside your body, where nothing really mattered because in the end it was pointless, so you didn't bother getting upset, or angry, or happy? I don't recommend it. Give me pointless emo depression any day. Being completely robbed of how you feel in a very rational, detached, pessimistic perspective, is worse. You may not believe me, but I am dead serious. It literally felt like a dream where you couldn't feel anything but just knew that somewhere in the back of your mind something was terribly wrong, but you couldn't feel it, or find out what it was. Don't ever fall into that mindset, you may think feeling everything and breaking down is what kills you, but it doesn't. When you lose grip on life and you feel like you aren't a part of it anymore, that's when killing  yourself is easiest, because all it is, is ending a dream. -- Posted by ang42490424 at 10:57 pm on Jan. 9, 2009 I never lost hope, but my friends still make me promise. -- Posted by gwen gardner at 10:58 pm on Jan. 9, 2009 i lost it all a long time ago and i probably wont ever see it again -- Posted by Written in Love at 10:59 pm on Jan. 9, 2009 Yes, I have lost hope before. And haven't seemed to get it back yet. -- Posted by blufindr at 11:00 pm on Jan. 9, 2009 I still got a tiny, tiny bit of hope somewhere. -- Posted by Jman19 at 11:00 pm on Jan. 9, 2009 Yes... I have even attempted to kill myself, but fortunately, my sprits are now rekindled, and my hope, relit. -- Posted by See Me Now at 11:01 pm on Jan. 9, 2009 Quote: from Jman19 at 11:00 pm on Jan. 9, 2009 Yes... I have even attempted to kill myself, but fortunately, my sprits are now rekindled, and my hope, relit. <3 -- Posted by zenfusion1992 at 11:02 pm on Jan. 9, 2009 Quote: from blufindr at 11:00 pm on Jan. 9, 2009 I still got a tiny, tiny bit of hope somewhere. Same -- Posted by thegeek at 11:03 pm on Jan. 9, 2009 ^^^ what she said. -- Posted by The Persuader at 11:24 pm on Jan. 9, 2009 Never lost hope. I'm too optimistic to do that. -- Posted by iconoclast1 at 11:43 pm on Jan. 9, 2009 I agree with you. I'm using this parachute to post my more...sensitive things for fear of family snooping (I'm not such a new member), but refer to this topic: http://www.golivewire.com/forums/peer-yestiyt-support-a.html When I was just 'depressed', I had a lot of motivation to write, think, and most of all, improve. In fact, I think everything came from trying to 'get better'. But after I 'conquered' my depression, I became very cynical very quickly. Things changed a lot and I wanted to attack things on a much larger scale than before. Obviously, there were no people who saw things my way, so I badly stagnated and became pretty much what you described. In the short term, being emotionally depressed is much worse, though. It's painful, but it keeps you alive. In the long term however, loss of hope; logical, cold emptiness....all that is killer. It becomes a lot less like 'life', and a lot more surreal. To drive what you said further home, I've been wading around in a state of nothingness for two years. It feels a lot more like a dream than reality. I would have killed myself long ago, if not for a desire to experience one last bout of comfort and pleasure right before death (difficult), and lack of motivation to go do it.