-- Posted by Anonymous at 12:29 am on Jan. 11, 2009 I was turning a corner when I heard my girlfriend talking to her friend about me. I overheard them both referring to me with an unflattering nickname regarding my moods and depression. This really got to me, and although I think we're still both in love and have been together for quite a while, I just don't know how to approach her about this...   -- Posted by Anonymous at 8:21 am on Jan. 11, 2009 I still don't know what to do...:/ -- Posted by Hoebag at 9:52 am on Jan. 11, 2009 Hey thur, I know this may hurt a bit having your girlfriend call you bad names behind your back, however, you're both in love. This may have been a joke between them, so first don't take it too far, she might not have meant it you know? Confronting her about this, don't be too up front in case she didn't mean this she could be awkward or maybe offended. First I suggest asking her what she thinks about your moods and depression, find out what she says first then ask her "So you don't think I'm a ___? This will be the easiest way to go about this. It is best that you ask her though because this will just eat at you if you don't and you might start to grow negative feelings towards the relationship. Reassure her that you aren't angry but you're confused and upset by what she said. Explain you weren't purposely listening to her conversation with her friend but you overheard and you don't regret it as what she said hurt you. If she does think you're what she called you, then I suggest you don't stay together because that can be classed as emotional abuse and it will start making you more unhappy that you are, always put yourself first because if you don't, your depression will never start getting better. I'm sorry to hear about this, but I'm here if you need advice or you need to talk, I know how hard this may be for you. -Ally. -- Posted by Anonymous at 8:34 am on Jan. 12, 2009 Well I'm sure they probably meant it as an inside joke or something...but I still feel awkward bringing it up. It just really got to me because we've talked about my depression before, and it just seemed like I was the target of a joke and I feel too insecure to even approach her about it because we hardly see each other as it is and I don't want to ruin the time we get to spend together.. -- Posted by dunebug at 11:19 pm on Jan. 12, 2009 I would suggest you weigh the pros and cons of approaching her about it. It's hard to admit to evesdropping without it backfiring on you. Regardless of how polite you are, usually the other person only hears that you intruded on a private conversation and it can escalate into quite the blowup. Sometimes people simply need to vent and exaggerate. It's not always reflective of how they truly feel about a person or issue, but simply them being frustrated that particular moment in time. The unflattering name she used probably isn't how she usually feels towards you and your issues, simply her trying to blow off some steam and pressure from dealing with those issues. It's probably a good thing that she's talking about them to someone instead of bottling it up inside her or pretending the issues don't exist. Is this more of an issue of you taking something too personally and/or being inecure, rather than her venting to a friend? You may want to look inward instead of outward and figure out why something a simple as a name upsets you so much. -- Posted by Wii Tard at 9:05 am on Jan. 13, 2009 Hey, If I were you I would just start a conversation with her.  I would tell her that I overheard part of the conversation.  Let her know that what they said bothered you.  Just talk through it. -- Posted by Anonymous at 8:25 pm on Jan. 13, 2009 Quote: from dunebug at 11:19 pm on Jan. 12, 2009 Is this more of an issue of you taking something too personally and/or being inecure, rather than her venting to a friend? You may want to look inward instead of outward and figure out why something a simple as a name upsets you so much. I really like that answer. In fact, I've been trying to do a lot of soul-searching lately and I just don't know where to start. This may be grounds for a separate topic, but could you elaborate or suggest any helpful ideas to deal with this?