-- Posted by Kitty Kiska at 3:13 am on June 29, 2009 I think i realised that i dont want any guy, i dont want a boyfriend. I never really had many, 2 and those were in the far distant past. I just dont want any sort of relationship at all. I have lost interest in other things i used to like...slowly it feels like im becoming a zombie, even though i am usualy very hyper and giddy and fun loving. Past few weeks i havent gone out much and after going out the other day i realised that i dont want to be out there, i just want to lock myself up in my room and be left alone. I dont want to answer my phone or talk to anyone. The only person i can stand to see and want to see is the guy who was in my business class and who i used to walk to school with. We go to gym together and thats about it. Apart from that its only my brother and daddy who i can spend time with. I feel like all my friends have drifted further from me and i dont want to, i cant feel bothered to retie those strings. I spent some time with a group of people, there was a guy who after some time i realised behaved a lot like me. Not liking the silence and always trying to fill it. Im not comfortable with silence but now my voice annoys me, how can your own voice annoy you.It feels like everything about my ersonality is starting to get on my nerves, i never hated myself for anything and this is a weird place to start. I dont know why this is just all going on with me. Tell me why? -- Posted by BubbleCake at 7:51 am on July 5, 2009 Hey there, I'm sorry you are going through a difficult time right now. I can be very hard to hid how you really feel, especially when you are feeling really down about your life. You are only a young girl so you do have many more years left to have a boyfriend and get into a serious relationship. We don't need a boyfriend to make us happy. You should start to focus on yourself and your well being more right now than anything else. We all have our ups and downs in life but when it starts to effect certain aspects of our lives, there is a problem there. You aren't alone, you do have your friends even if you don't want to hang out with them anymore. Can you think of any reasons why you'd rather not be around people who do really care about you? Why aren't you bothered to try and mend your friendships? You shouldn't give up on friendships you have probably had for many years and worked for. Friends are there to support you when you really need it and you could do with having them there. Speak to your closest friends, or even that boy was in your class. Just because you are now finished school, doesn't mean you just give up on the friends from school you made or the people you spoke too. I, often see people from my class and we still speak and catch up. Get in touch with him, become closer friends have have someone you can speak too when you need them. Even if it means you speak to your father or brother. Either way, you could do with someone to support you and help you through this. When you are in a rut like this, you shouldn't need to suffer in silence. I suffered the hard way by keeping it to myself when I was in a situation like this. If I have learned anything, it's that I should have spoke out and had someone to support me when I was dealing with this. Don't even change who you are. We all have our own personalities and that is what makes us who we are. Even if you are usually cheery, upbeat, hyper; you can't always be like that. You are just having a difficult time and you will get over this with the help of your friends in real life and your friends here. I wish you the best of luck and hope I have helped. You can message me if you need someone to talk to. Good luck. -- Posted by Kitty Kiska at 7:57 am on July 5, 2009 True and your right about it all, i just...i dont know. I feel like im cvomfortable at home and if im comfortable then why leave my home to go hang out with someone but at the same time im afraid that if i dont i will lose everyone around me and become lonely and i dont wnat that either. I guess thats why i dont want to catch up or call anyone to hang out because im not sure if thats what i want to do, being so comfortable at home. -- Posted by BubbleCake at 8:04 am on July 5, 2009 The reason you could be more comfortable at home is because you don't want to go out. You rather me at home, alone. I think if you were like you used to be and weren't down, and out with friends, you'd rather be there. It all depends on how you are feeling. But like you said, if you continue to spend a lot of time at home, your friends will come worried about you. If they ditch you or not, I don't know about that. I'd like to think they'd never to that to their friends.