-- Posted by Just Waiting Here at 6:41 pm on July 5, 2009 ... if someone you cared about asked if you would mind them self-harming themself?  Mind you, this person had promised you before that they would stop, and they did stop for a long time.  But what if they came up to you and asked to end that promise because they wanted to go back to it... What would you say? -- Posted by Areola at 6:42 pm on July 5, 2009 I would feel awkward, and talk to them about why. -- Posted by utheh at 6:42 pm on July 5, 2009 I'd tell them I really wished I didn't and I'd be willing to do anything to help them find a better means of dealing with stress. -- Posted by Doubleshift at 6:43 pm on July 5, 2009 I would worried and pissed off at the same time. -- Posted by LiveForeverDieTonite at 6:43 pm on July 5, 2009 I'd talk to them about it. -- Posted by Disposition at 6:46 pm on July 5, 2009 I would be sad and try to convince them out of it. I would feel disappointed but I'd never tell them that. I would be angry but wouldn't let it show. If I did, they'd be more likely to cut. -- Posted by One Two Step at 6:47 pm on July 5, 2009 Quote: from Doubleshift at 6:43 pm on July 5, 2009 I would worried and pissed off at the same time. this. -- Posted by Just Waiting Here at 6:48 pm on July 5, 2009 Quote: from Disposition at 6:46 pm on July 5, 2009 I would be sad and try to convince them out of it. I would feel disappointed but I'd never tell them that. I would be angry but wouldn't let it show. If I did, they'd be more likely to cut. So you'd say they could cut?  The person is asking you... If you told the person that you didn't want to end the promise, then they would never cut... But if you said alright to ending the promise, then they might go back to it... Does this make sense? -Probably not... lol. -- Posted by Disposition at 1:45 pm on July 6, 2009 Quote: from Just Waiting Here at 9:48 pm on July 5, 2009 Quote: from Disposition at 6:46 pm on July 5, 2009 I would be sad and try to convince them out of it. I would feel disappointed but I'd never tell them that. I would be angry but wouldn't let it show. If I did, they'd be more likely to cut. So you'd say they could cut? The person is asking you... If you told the person that you didn't want to end the promise, then they would never cut... But if you said alright to ending the promise, then they might go back to it... Does this make sense? -Probably not... lol. Oh, no no. I didn't mean that it was okay. I would try to convince them otherwise... You can't dictate what a person will do by just telling them not to do it. If said person says, "I've decided to cut again," I wouldn't say, "Oh, you can't do that! I won't let you!" That's more frustrating than it is helpful, and I've been in that situation before. Encouraging them to do other behaviors that are more positive is a lot more beneficial. Yes, you can disapprove of it to their face, but I wouldn't feel like I had the right to tell them they *can't* do it. Sorry if I didn't make that clear in the first place-- I would not be okay with them ending the promise. -- Posted by Just Waiting Here at 1:50 pm on July 6, 2009 Quote: from Disposition at 1:45 pm on July 6, 2009 Quote: from Just Waiting Here at 9:48 pm on July 5, 2009 Quote: from Disposition at 6:46 pm on July 5, 2009 I would be sad and try to convince them out of it. I would feel disappointed but I'd never tell them that. I would be angry but wouldn't let it show. If I did, they'd be more likely to cut. So you'd say they could cut? The person is asking you... If you told the person that you didn't want to end the promise, then they would never cut... But if you said alright to ending the promise, then they might go back to it... Does this make sense? -Probably not... lol. No. I didn't mean that it was okay. I would try to convince them otherwise... You can't dictate what a person will do by just telling them not to do it. If said person says, "I've decided to cut again," I wouldn't say, "Oh, you can't do that! I won't let you!" That's more frustrating than it is helpful, and I've been in that situation before. Encouraging them to do other behaviors that are more positive is a lot more beneficial. Yes, you can disapprove of it to their face, but I wouldn't feel like I had the right to tell them they *can't* do it. Sorry if I didn't make that clear in the first place-- I would not be okay with them ending the promise. Hmm... yeah, it makes sense.  Thanks :) -- Posted by Disposition at 1:55 pm on July 6, 2009 Quote: from Just Waiting Here at 4:50 pm on July 6, 2009 Quote: from Disposition at 1:45 pm on July 6, 2009 Quote: from Just Waiting Here at 9:48 pm on July 5, 2009 Quote: from Disposition at 6:46 pm on July 5, 2009 I would be sad and try to convince them out of it. I would feel disappointed but I'd never tell them that. I would be angry but wouldn't let it show. If I did, they'd be more likely to cut.      So you'd say they could cut?  The person is asking you... If you told the person that you didn't want to end the promise, then they would never cut... But if you said alright to ending the promise, then they might go back to it...      Does this make sense?      -Probably not... lol.    No. I didn't mean that it was okay. I would try to convince them otherwise... You can't dictate what a person will do by just telling them not to do it. If said person says, "I've decided to cut again," I wouldn't say, "Oh, you can't do that! I won't let you!" That's more frustrating than it is helpful, and I've been in that situation before.      Encouraging them to do other behaviors that are more positive is a lot more beneficial. Yes, you can disapprove of it to their face, but I wouldn't feel like I had the right to tell them they *can't* do it.    Sorry if I didn't make that clear in the first place-- I would not be okay with them ending the promise. Hmm... yeah, it makes sense. Thanks :) Ok :] -- Posted by LoveKay at 5:00 pm on July 6, 2009 Obviously, I would say.. DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT A PROMISE IS?!!?! -- Posted by Just Waiting Here at 5:07 pm on July 6, 2009 Quote: from LoveKay at 5:00 pm on July 6, 2009 Obviously, I would say.. DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT A PROMISE IS?!!?! But they hadn't even broken the promise.  It was a mere request to have it be ended.  If the answer was yes, then that's that.  If the answer was no, then the promise would stay in place. -- Posted by BubbleCake at 5:33 am on July 7, 2009 I'd try and speak to them about why they wanted to start again. Why they felt like they needed to cut. I'd try and convince them not to do it. Tell them I was here for them when they needed someone to talk to. I wouldn't get annoyed at them for it because self harm is a serious issue and it's not the way it should be handled if it was to happen.