-- Posted by delishsoundtrack at 4:24 pm on July 6, 2009 We've been seeing each other for 7 months and everything was fine until i started noticing one of his coworkers texting him constantly. I recently found out she was at a family gathering at his house. [which he failed to invite me to, even though i told him i wasn't doing anything that night] I've never met his extended family yet, but she has. :S:S:S He's also been acting distant towards me except for when we're together. [which usually ends up in him being really physical and clingy] I confronted him about this and he swore they were just friends and nothing was going on. He didn't have an answer for not inviting me to his place with family over and he keeps telling me he's not planning on leaving me. Obviously I think it's a bunch of shit and he's lying to me, but I don't want to break up with him just because of HER. I don't know what else to do though... He gets defensive when I bring her up, saying I shouldn't have a problem with him talking to her since I talk to my ex boyfriend still. (I work with him one day a week...and I'm not interested in getting back together with him, my boyfriend knows I don't date ex-boyfriends) I'm going insane, all I can think of is sending her a [friendly] message on facebook asking her to kindly back off... what do I dooo??? -- Posted by melodramatic at 4:25 pm on July 6, 2009 I had a similar problem. I found some text messages that were kind of sexually oriented so I sent both of the girls he was texting messages :) -- Posted by Mods1Blow2Me3Daily at 4:25 pm on July 6, 2009 stop being a whiny bitch and let it go. unless you got proof of him fucking around, stash it in the back of your mind -- Posted by xMoNoxLoCox at 4:26 pm on July 6, 2009 ugh ive been there its a tricky situation...i ended up losin my bf to a diff girl...bt hes a prick neway -- Posted by ifyoulikepinacoladas at 4:26 pm on July 6, 2009 There's a high possibility that he's lying. -- Posted by soccerislife at 4:27 pm on July 6, 2009 idk..but i think its bull he didnt invite you to the gathering.. -- Posted by Chiefette at 4:27 pm on July 6, 2009 If you cannot trust him you shouldn't be in a relationship with him.   -- Posted by delishsoundtrack at 4:27 pm on July 6, 2009 Quote: from melodramatic at 4:25 pm on July 6, 2009 I had a similar problem. I found some text messages that were kind of sexually oriented so I sent both of the girls he was texting messages :) If I send her a message, she'll most likely tell him about it. Even if I'm being nice in the message asking her to back off, he'll still be pissed at the fact that I'm still bothered by it after telling him I don't care anymore... because I needed to end the conversation after he was getting defensive. I don't want to start a fight with him -- Posted by Italianlnm at 4:28 pm on July 6, 2009 It is kind of fishy that he got defensive over it and didn't calmly tell you and then be more concerned of how you are feeling over him getting mad. -- Posted by Go Steph Go at 4:28 pm on July 6, 2009 This is a tough situation.  I don't understand why he did not invite you to the family gathering but invited her.  How long have he and this coworker been friends?  If they have been friends for a long time, i.e. before you guys started dating, this shouldn't worry you.  However, if it is a recent friendship I would be concerned.  You don't deserved to be cheated on.  I would say talk to this girl and see if there is anything going on.  Don't be so quick to dump him yet.  Just monitor the situation and  go from there.  I would be concerned too, if it were my boyfriend.  Good luck -- Posted by LiveForeverDieTonite at 4:29 pm on July 6, 2009 Quote: from ifyoulikepinacoladas at 7:26 pm on July 6, 2009 There's a high possibility that he's lying. this. -- Posted by melodramatic at 4:29 pm on July 6, 2009 Quote: from delishsoundtrack at 4:27 pm on July 6, 2009 Quote: from melodramatic at 4:25 pm on July 6, 2009 I had a similar problem. I found some text messages that were kind of sexually oriented so I sent both of the girls he was texting messages :) If I send her a message, she'll most likely tell him about it. Even if I'm being nice in the message asking her to back off, he'll still be pissed at the fact that I'm still bothered by it after telling him I don't care anymore... because I needed to end the conversation after he was getting defensive. I don't want to start a fight with him Then again, In the same situation. The Girl(s) told him about it. They were both pretty cowardly about it, as was he. -- Posted by agerask at 4:31 pm on July 6, 2009 Quote: from Mods1Blow2Me3Daily at 4:25 pm on July 6, 2009 stop being a whiny bitch and let it go. unless you got proof of him fucking around, stash it in the back of your mind this was actually what i was going to say. don't send her a message. that just makes you look really lame. maybe, the reason he didn't invite you is because he's nervous of your reaction to his family, or vice versa? i think the opinion of a gf matters more than the opinion of a friend. if you get where i'm coming from... -- Posted by delishsoundtrack at 4:34 pm on July 6, 2009 Quote: from agerask at 4:31 pm on July 6, 2009 Quote: from Mods1Blow2Me3Daily at 4:25 pm on July 6, 2009 stop being a whiny bitch and let it go. unless you got proof of him fucking around, stash it in the back of your mind this was actually what i was going to say. don't send her a message. that just makes you look really lame. maybe, the reason he didn't invite you is because he's nervous of your reaction to his family, or vice versa? i think the opinion of a gf matters more than the opinion of a friend. if you get where i'm coming from... I thought he was nervous about me meeting his family too, but I mentioned that when he was speechless and he said that wasn't it... I also asked him if he thought it was too soon or if he thought we were moving too fast, because I'm his first serious girlfriend. That wasn't it either. -- Posted by Italianlnm at 4:35 pm on July 6, 2009 Quote: from agerask at 7:31 pm on July 6, 2009 Quote: from Mods1Blow2Me3Daily at 4:25 pm on July 6, 2009 stop being a whiny bitch and let it go. unless you got proof of him fucking around, stash it in the back of your mind this was actually what i was going to say. don't send her a message. that just makes you look really lame. maybe, the reason he didn't invite you is because he's nervous of your reaction to his family, or vice versa? i think the opinion of a gf matters more than the opinion of a friend. if you get where i'm coming from... That is true too. And you might be considered clingy if you do write a message. I wouldn't write a message to her.. Just keep your eye out for it. Don't do anything drastic. You talked to him.. and it is weird that he got so defensive and argumentative but you don't really have any hard evidence right now. -- Posted by LexieStar at 4:50 pm on July 6, 2009 In my opinion, it seems really weird that he invited her to a family gathering and not you. I would keep an eye on him and usually i wouldn't recommend this because everyones entitled to their own privacy but for peice of mind and because of his recent behaviour and defense issues maybe have a peak at the texts to see what they've been talking about? -- Posted by sesso at 7:47 am on July 8, 2009 To echo what others have said, how long have they been friends? She may be a friend of the family/be related to a friend of the family, etc y'know? I know it's very hard not to jump the gun and just accuse him right this very moment, but keep your cool and do some investigating (casually and subtley..). Have you met this other woman? If so, you could speak to her in person and voice your concern almost by saying instead you are worried about him.. etc.. and does she know why he didn't bring you to his family meal. Not suggesting you are concerned about her, but almost pretend you're asking her advice and see what she says. Good luck x -- Posted by freeursoul28 at 12:21 pm on July 8, 2009 definitely a bad sign. If there just friendly then thats one thing, but if its more than that. then I would question things. -- Posted by jujumusiq at 2:05 pm on July 8, 2009 that's way too fishy to be in a relationship