-- Posted by murphy mcbagel at 9:45 pm on July 8, 2009 Well shit, first time im truly honest on the internet i can't think of how to say it. If you've delt with a lot of shit from your dad, shit that didn't make sense to you, anger issues, emotional problems, and you realize he has a problem but he doesn't, and can't ever see it, what can you do? Because of those problems i've always felt uncomfortable around him, but I never realize it until now how i had such a hard time understanding him, why he seemed so needy and strange at times. Should I just live my life if he can't see the problems? -- Posted by Mr Speed at 9:46 pm on July 8, 2009 join the club -- Posted by SpRiNgS at 9:46 pm on July 8, 2009 my dad is a bit of a order freak and I say live your life cause usually your parents are set in their ways -- Posted by murphy mcbagel at 9:47 pm on July 8, 2009 Quote: from SpRiNgS at 9:46 pm on July 8, 2009 my dad is a bit of a order freak and I say live your life cause usually your parents are set in their ways i feel like a lazy asshole if i don't try to help. -- Posted by Total Destruction at 9:47 pm on July 8, 2009 Did you ever try to understand him? His feelings? -- Posted by SpRiNgS at 9:48 pm on July 8, 2009 Quote: from murphy mcbagel at 9:47 pm on July 8, 2009 Quote: from SpRiNgS at 9:46 pm on July 8, 2009 my dad is a bit of a order freak and I say live your life cause usually your parents are set in their ways i feel like a lazy asshole if i don't try to help. describe his exact problems then sometimes this shit happens when they're our age and they develop these habits -- Posted by CoLoSsEuM GhOsT at 9:50 pm on July 8, 2009 my dad was an alchoholic drunk who killed my mother... he's dead now and im glad -- Posted by murphy mcbagel at 9:52 pm on July 8, 2009 Quote: from SpRiNgS at 9:48 pm on July 8, 2009 Quote: from murphy mcbagel at 9:47 pm on July 8, 2009 Quote: from SpRiNgS at 9:46 pm on July 8, 2009 my dad is a bit of a order freak and I say live your life cause usually your parents are set in their ways    i feel like a lazy asshole if i don't try to help. describe his exact problems then sometimes this shit happens when they're our age and they develop these habits well everything i did seemed to hurt his feelings somehow, he always seemed extremely sad and he'd act weird and resentful towards me, he would even tell me i was the cause of all the anger with our family, even though i was just a kid and he'd go get angry over a dropped fork. i basically lived at the mercy of his moods. i wonder if he'd literally have a break down if my mom left him. so...one man to another, i just don't understand him, and he won't talk about it, so you see the problem... -- Posted by SpRiNgS at 9:53 pm on July 8, 2009 Quote: from murphy mcbagel at 9:52 pm on July 8, 2009 Quote: from SpRiNgS at 9:48 pm on July 8, 2009 Quote: from murphy mcbagel at 9:47 pm on July 8, 2009 Quote: from SpRiNgS at 9:46 pm on July 8, 2009 my dad is a bit of a order freak and I say live your life cause usually your parents are set in their ways   i feel like a lazy asshole if i don't try to help. describe his exact problems then    sometimes this shit happens when they're our age and they develop these habits well everything i did seemed to hurt his feelings somehow, he always seemed extremely sad and he'd act weird and resentful towards me, he would even tell me i was the cause of all the anger with our family, even though i was just a kid and he'd go get angry over a dropped fork. i basically lived at the mercy of his moods. i wonder if he'd literally have a break down if my mom left him. so...one man to another, i just don't understand him, and he won't talk about it, so you see the problem... yeah well i'm no psychiatrist but you ever ask your mother why he feels this way about you? -- Posted by murphy mcbagel at 9:58 pm on July 8, 2009 Quote: from SpRiNgS at 9:53 pm on July 8, 2009 Quote: from murphy mcbagel at 9:52 pm on July 8, 2009 Quote: from SpRiNgS at 9:48 pm on July 8, 2009 Quote: from murphy mcbagel at 9:47 pm on July 8, 2009 Quote: from SpRiNgS at 9:46 pm on July 8, 2009 my dad is a bit of a order freak and I say live your life cause usually your parents are set in their ways       i feel like a lazy asshole if i don't try to help. describe his exact problems then   sometimes this shit happens when they're our age and they develop these habits    well everything i did seemed to hurt his feelings somehow, he always seemed extremely sad and he'd act weird and resentful towards me, he would even tell me i was the cause of all the anger with our family, even though i was just a kid and he'd go get angry over a dropped fork. i basically lived at the mercy of his moods. i wonder if he'd literally have a break down if my mom left him. so...one man to another, i just don't understand him, and he won't talk about it, so you see the problem... yeah well i'm no psychiatrist but you ever ask your mother why he feels this way about you? my mom? she's not exactly in her right mind, but all i ever get is "he loves you" but i mean he must think we have some super close bond. like there's something kind of narcissitic about acting like he's such a good dad he doesn't need to relate to me. we never joke about anything, and everytime we talk it's like one big confrontation. i just can't relax around him. and if i told him, he wouldn't back off because i've told him before, and he just gets angry, like i hurt his feelings. i just fucking give up. -- Posted by SpRiNgS at 10:02 pm on July 8, 2009 He just sounds like he doesn't know how to connect. I know yous ay he's not open to talking but he doesn't need to be open. I'd say greet force with force some more but in the end it's your decision on how you'd want to talk to your dad. Your grandpa and dad real close or is it the same shit? cause if it is that'd explain a LOT -- Posted by murphy mcbagel at 10:06 pm on July 8, 2009 Quote: from SpRiNgS at 10:02 pm on July 8, 2009 He just sounds like he doesn't know how to connect. I know yous ay he's not open to talking but he doesn't need to be open. I'd say greet force with force some more but in the end it's your decision on how you'd want to talk to your dad. Your grandpa and dad real close or is it the same shit? cause if it is that'd explain a LOT don't get me started. all i've ever heard from when i was a kid was how bad a dad my grandpa was, he never talks to him and almost got in a fight with him at my cousins wedding!! the guys like 70 and acts like he's this playboy like jack nicholson! it does explain alot but shouldn't someone try and get over that??? -- Posted by SpRiNgS at 10:44 pm on July 8, 2009 Quote: from murphy mcbagel at 10:06 pm on July 8, 2009 Quote: from SpRiNgS at 10:02 pm on July 8, 2009 He just sounds like he doesn't know how to connect. I know yous ay he's not open to talking but he doesn't need to be open. I'd say greet force with force some more but in the end it's your decision on how you'd want to talk to your dad. Your grandpa and dad real close or is it the same shit? cause if it is that'd explain a LOT don't get me started. all i've ever heard from when i was a kid was how bad a dad my grandpa was, he never talks to him and almost got in a fight with him at my cousins wedding!! the guys like 70 and acts like he's this playboy like jack nicholson! it does explain alot but shouldn't someone try and get over that??? they SHOULD but, like you he was prob in an awkward position with his father being the same way you know? A lot of this shit is a cycle that families perpetuate. You can try to break it or just let it slide :) -- Posted by murphy mcbagel at 9:37 am on July 9, 2009 Quote: from SpRiNgS at 10:44 pm on July 8, 2009 Quote: from murphy mcbagel at 10:06 pm on July 8, 2009 Quote: from SpRiNgS at 10:02 pm on July 8, 2009 He just sounds like he doesn't know how to connect. I know yous ay he's not open to talking but he doesn't need to be open. I'd say greet force with force some more but in the end it's your decision on how you'd want to talk to your dad. Your grandpa and dad real close or is it the same shit? cause if it is that'd explain a LOT    don't get me started. all i've ever heard from when i was a kid was how bad a dad my grandpa was, he never talks to him and almost got in a fight with him at my cousins wedding!! the guys like 70 and acts like he's this playboy like jack nicholson! it does explain alot but shouldn't someone try and get over that??? they SHOULD but, like you he was prob in an awkward position with his father being the same way you know? A lot of this shit is a cycle that families perpetuate. You can try to break it or just let it slide :) thanks man. i guess i dont understand him worth shit, but i could try and let it slide. -- Posted by SpRiNgS at 12:24 pm on July 9, 2009 it's whatever you want to do:)