-- Posted by Emilybird at 9:14 am on July 10, 2009 and i feel so numb...i didnt sleep at all..last night. i spent my entire night at the hospital only to find out he died. i dont even know what to do...what to think..how to feel... i dont even know if i have the strength to cry. i feel like my whole world came crashing down. becasue hes gone. -- Posted by SpRiNgS at 9:47 pm on July 10, 2009 losing someone close is ALWAYS a hard thing to go through. You will have to come to the realization of life without him but you should know one thing, i'm sure he wouldn't want ou to be sad forever would he? he'd want you toe njoy your life, not live it in despair. The mourning period will be for a while but after that, pay your respects to your friend by living things up -- Posted by the mixed tape at 11:21 am on July 11, 2009 Aw, hun. I'm so severely sorry for your loss. Whenever we lose someone who is close to us, it's always so tragic and hurtful. Instead of thinking about them as being gone and out of our lives, try your best to think about him as they moved on. Not necessarily just to a grave, but they are living a better life somewhere out there. Whether it be through reincarnation, or in Heaven, they are surely going through a better time. Car accidents are tragic, and we can rarely do anything to protect our loved ones from them. You just being there for him through this rough times shows how much you care. You can't let this slow you down and upset you to greatly. How would he feel if he knew that he was causing you so much stress and depression? I would venture to say he wants nothing other than success and happiness for you. I understand you being upset, and you have every right to be afraid of whats going to happen next. Just look for the light at the end of the tunnel, and continue to strive forward. Always keep him in the back of your mind, and never forget about him. He'll always be in your heart, and he'll always be there if you ever need him. If you ever want to talk, just message me. -- Posted by Live Just To Die at 11:53 am on July 18, 2009 Heyy, losing someone so close must be so hard for you to deal with. Greif will play a big part in your life over the next few months, as it would to the strongest people, but you have to be brave and carry on as normal.     You must have felt helpless sat in that hospital not knowing what was happening but the reality is that you could do nothing for him to help him. Car crashes are something that we as friends and family outside the car can't prevent but I'm sure that you were there for him throughout his life and supported him the best you could.     Just remember that he would have wanted you to live your life to the fullest and not let the memory of him upset you but bring you joy and happiness, remember the good times you had together and this will help, I'm sure. -- Posted by hi sarah at 5:06 am on July 24, 2009 Hey there :( I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. I recently lost three of my friends; two of them being to separate car accidents. It's so horrible how those we love can be taken away from us so swiftly, and so unexpectedly. Nine of ten times we never even get to say goodbye. The pain that comes with a loss like this is also so incredibly excruciating I know how it feels to just want to crawl into a corner and cry your eyes out. Well, that's what I've been doing the last few weeks anyway. The emotional pain from a loss is much like the physical pain from a physical injury, really. And at this point in time I also know how it feels to wonder whether you'll ever pull yourself out of this. I think one of the most important things to dealing with a loss is coming to terms with the fact that they're gone. This doesn't happen overnight, and is usually a long process. Don't expect to recover from this by next week, because setting such unrealistic goals for yourself is only setting yourself up for further pain and anguish. Surrounding yourself with people you love, and also other friends who are grieving can really help the entire process. Going through it alone is unnecessary when you have the option to be in a familiar place with familiar people. What's really helping me right now is not sitting in the same place alone for more than 30 minutes.  That may sound really odd, but I find when I'm alone for long periods of time I think too much and start getting really upset for silly reasons.  It's really good to get up and keep active.  That doesn't mean partying and celebrating, but I mean going for walks or going out in the backyard.  Even dancing to the music on your iPod can help.  I know I've lost my appetite for food completely, which is apparently normal, and moving around and doing odd little things around the house brings my appetite back  a bit and makes me feel as though there is hope.  If I'm moving around and actually doing something then I guess things can get better, right? Instead of thinking how you'll never see them again, try thinking about all the great times you spent together.  Think of jokes, and funny things that make you smile.  If he was here right now, what would he want you to do?  I doubt he would want you to be upset, he would want you to be happy and okay and move on with your life.  Moving on doesn't mean forgetting, it means being okay.  It's not selfish to be okay, it's courageous and admirable.  The mourning process could take a while, but allow yourself some time to heal and things will start looking bright again.  There's always a rainbow after the rain.  :) Best wishes, - Sarah. -- Posted by Porcelina at 10:05 am on July 24, 2009 Death is a very strange thing. I have lost many people in my life, and I feel that even though death is possibly the most concrete thing other than life, our idea of death is so hard to understand. It's hard to grieve right now because it's still difficult to understand that they're gone. Even for years later there may be a feeling that they just moved away and you never bothered to call. If you were a really good friend, like a best friend and his family knew you well, I suggest you stay at the viewing(s) for the whole duration and attend the funeral. However, if you were just buddies and the family didn't know you very well, show up for an hour or two and talk to his family about how much he meant to you. Don't expect to cry at the viewing, either. You might be somebody who will cry when you see the body, but it's okay if you're not (miraculously, a lot of people aren't).Viewings tend to be happier occasions because even though it's for a sad reason, you're surrounded by people you love and that loved him, and you all have very good happy memories to share. You may feel better if you contact the family to ask about holding a memorial service for his school friends. When a young person dies sometimes it seems like their friends get misplaced, because they may feel it's inappropriate to attend the viewing. When I was a senior in high school one of my classmates died. Although I wasn't close to him like when I was younger, it was relieving to have a memorial. Then in April one of my housemates died. Because I was closer to her I felt very consoled at the memorial when literally thousands of people showed to pay respects. In both cases I wouldn't have gone to the viewing (for the first I didn't know him well enough, and for the second she lived much too far away). The memorials gave me and their other peers a chance to come together without possibly impeding upon a private viewing and funeral. The nice thing about a memorial for your friend is that it would give people like you a chance to talk. Sometimes once kids are teenages families really lose hold on what is happening in their lives outside the home, and to be able to see their peers and friends come together and say wonderful things really helps the family too. -- Posted by dougalmcflurry at 5:47 am on July 27, 2009 Losing someone is always going to be hard to cope with, and at the moment, I can't even imagine what you're going through. What you have to try and remember, though, is all the good times you had together. You have to remind yourself of everything the pair of you did together, the things you went through, and how lucky you were to share that friendship. Think about what it means to you, and what it meant to them. You were lucky to be able to share that friendship, even if it was tragically shortlived. Also, you were there for them when they needed you most, you waited in the hospital. There isn't much more you could have done, and i'm sure that was a great comfort not only to them but also to their family. You should be proud of this, and proud of your friendship together. They may be gone, but you still have your memories of them, and nothing can take those away.