-- Posted by aeternus at 7:59 pm on July 10, 2009 My girlfriend recently gained a bit of weight (only like 10lbs, which even for someone who only weighs 110lbs originally doesn't really show), and now she says she doesn't feel sexy anymore. She barely even lets me touch her, and we've only had sex twice in the past month because apparently she doesn't want me to see her naked. I tell her all the time how sexy and beautiful I think she is, and she knows how attracted to her I am, but it hasn't really helped at all. She seemed to be back to normal after I made a three course candlelit dinner for her one night, but it's sorta hard to make a gesture that big every time I see her, and they'd lose their value if I did that anyway. Anyone have any ideas of things I can do to convince her that she's still sexy? -- Posted by Gruadia at 7:59 pm on July 10, 2009 Tell her I said she sounds sexy, it cheers them up every time. -- Posted by IGotAddicted at 8:00 pm on July 10, 2009 your too used to her. -- Posted by J BiGGZ at 8:00 pm on July 10, 2009 Have sex with her. Let her know that you are still attracted to her, even if she did gain some weight. -- Posted by Panic Of The System at 8:00 pm on July 10, 2009 Show her an obese woman? -- Posted by inkblot at 8:00 pm on July 10, 2009 Offer to do something sexual with her that you haven't done before, particularly if it is something she has wanted and you dislike doing. -- Posted by aeternus at 8:03 pm on July 10, 2009 Quote: from Bzoink at 8:00 pm on July 10, 2009 Offer to do something sexual with her that you haven't done before, particularly if it is something she has wanted and you dislike doing. The problem with this and just having sex with her is that she doesn't want to have sex. I frequently try to initiate it, and only take my hands off of her when she makes it clear that she wants me to. And I can't really do anything new with her sexually, since I am by far the more sexually adventurous one of us, and short of a threesome with another guy, which I refuse to do, she hasn't told me about anything she wants to do that we haven't done already. -- Posted by inkblot at 8:16 pm on July 10, 2009 Quote: from aeternus at 11:03 pm on July 10, 2009 Quote: from Bzoink at 8:00 pm on July 10, 2009 Offer to do something sexual with her that you haven't done before, particularly if it is something she has wanted and you dislike doing. The problem with this and just having sex with her is that she doesn't want to have sex. I frequently try to initiate it, and only take my hands off of her when she makes it clear that she wants me to. And I can't really do anything new with her sexually, since I am by far the more sexually adventurous one of us, and short of a threesome with another guy, which I refuse to do, she hasn't told me about anything she wants to do that we haven't done already. That is unfortunate, really nothing sexually she wants to do that you haven't done? Be romantic or something and make a fancy din din and show how much you love her and what not then and maybe the not feeling sexy will lessen. -- Posted by aeternus at 8:32 pm on July 10, 2009 Quote: from Bzoink at 8:16 pm on July 10, 2009 Quote: from aeternus at 11:03 pm on July 10, 2009 Quote: from Bzoink at 8:00 pm on July 10, 2009 Offer to do something sexual with her that you haven't done before, particularly if it is something she has wanted and you dislike doing.    The problem with this and just having sex with her is that she doesn't want to have sex. I frequently try to initiate it, and only take my hands off of her when she makes it clear that she wants me to. And I can't really do anything new with her sexually, since I am by far the more sexually adventurous one of us, and short of a threesome with another guy, which I refuse to do, she hasn't told me about anything she wants to do that we haven't done already. That is unfortunate, really nothing sexually she wants to do that you haven't done? Be romantic or something and make a fancy din din and show how much you love her and what not then and maybe the not feeling sexy will lessen. No, nothing. She's really unadventurous in bed, which is a bit of a problem for me, but she knows that. She's not at all comfortable doing anything she hasn't done already. And I did just make a surprise romantic dinner for her about a week and a half ago, although I guess I could try and think of something else to do. -- Posted by RandiiCandii at 3:26 pm on July 11, 2009 I understand your girlfriend because I also gained around 10 lbs but my boyfriend keep telling me I was still beautiful and sexy. No matter how much you tell her how sexy she is, the only way she is going to realize it if she tells herself and believes in herself that she is sexy. She needs to build up self-esteem for herself, but as a boyfriend you should keep on telling her she is beautiful, keep on desiring her body, and telling her she looks great in every outfit -- Posted by nurp at 8:53 pm on July 12, 2009 at the risk of sounding insensitive, maybe just give her time to get over it sometimes nothing anyone can say would really help -- Posted by doiochiverzi at 3:03 pm on July 13, 2009 mm I think all girls go through this to some degree when they gain weight. I know I have...  I would sit her done, and have a talk with her... and if just talking doesn't work then strip down and point out your own imperfections and tell her "I have all of this and it doesn't make you less attracted to me... nothing will make me less attracted to you." and if she says that she just doesn't feel sexy then say that the one place she can always feel sexy is in your arms... or give her time... :p sorry i watch too many chick flicks -- Posted by youcef at 12:32 am on July 14, 2009 run 2 laps around the block with her. help her burn those calories. -- Posted by sesso at 8:22 am on July 16, 2009 Quote: from youcef at 12:32 am on July 14, 2009 run 2 laps around the block with her. help her burn those calories. I second this! If she thinks she's fat, you reassure her you think she's fine, however if she wants to get slimmer again (which I'm assuming she does) then you'll be there to support her and help her achieve it. That's all you can really do, or just give her time to realise it herself. I think most of us girls go through phases like this. I did a while back where I didn't want my bf to even really touch me, but I just felt like it, I hadn't put on weight. I got over itttt. -- Posted by crystal161718 at 2:29 pm on July 16, 2009 Take her out to see a movie, buy her flowers...Make a whole day all about. Maybe buy her some sexy lingerie!!   -- Posted by nik1 at 9:16 am on July 19, 2009 You are receiving some strong warning signals of her obsessions.  People with this mental disorder can be told a thousand times that you don't care and you love them regardless they never get it.  I would suggest that you have a heart to heart talk with her and tell her exactly what you are feeling.  I would suggest that you tell her that you are getting tired of the same reaction from her and she needs to deal with it.  The more you tell her how sexy she is you are only making her feel more confident that she can get by with abusing the relationship.  It's time to be an adult with a pair of balls.  The heart to heart talk works both ways.  She may not be feeling you like she used to or you may be doing something that is bugging her and she blames it on her weight.   Better to lay the cards on the table now.