LiveWire Peer Support Network

Printable Version of Topic "Control Freak Housemate"

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-- Posted by squiggles at 9:41 pm on May 11, 2006

ok my housemates and i have never had any problems, till now
one of them was friends with a guy who wanted more, and she didnt, so she told him to get out of her life
but now she says that i cant talk to him because i am HER FRIEND
she came into my room before and asked me if he had rung me again, i said no, and she was like, good if he does you have to hang up
she also told me that if i talk to him he is in her life again and shedoesnt want that
how is my life and who i talk to part of her life?? it is really shitting me off
its not like i am going to be having him over for dinner, i already have a boyfriend
i tried telling her that who i talk to is none of her business and that me talking to him does not affect her in any way, but apparently because i am HER FRIEND i have to listen to her and do what she says, she also told him that he hadto do what she wanted him to

do any of you guys have any other suggestions of how i can tell her to let me live my own life, without causing a big argument??

thanks


-- Posted by Native Daughter at 9:57 pm on May 11, 2006

You should definately talk to her. Say what you've said here, but try to remain as calm as possible.  Ask her what she's really worried about.  Make it clear that if you ever hang out with this kid, she will not be a topic of discussion and you won't force them to hang out.  Make sure she knows that you'll be able to balance your time and attention on both of them separately.

Lastly, you may want to gently hint that her demans are and controlling.  Make it clear that you don't appreciate either and that if she's really your friend and trusts you (as she should) she should not be worrying about this.


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