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-- Posted by kenseth17 at 1:02 am on Oct. 23, 2006
My Friend Robert has been having issues with this girl Amy for a long time. He's had various issues with her, but it’s come to the point where me and him are just confused on what she wants and I am really clueless on what to tell him. So let me tell you the story and hopefully someone can shed some light on this. They met online in July 2005 at the time Amy was 15 and Robert was 17 they are now 18 and 16 now. So they got talking whatever. And eventually his mother told them they were going to move to Ohio which just happened to be like 45 minutes away from where Amy lived. Previously he lived in Iowa many hours apart. So with this happening they decide to meet in September 2005 and within a month their officially dating. This goes fine for a while until she decides to be stupid. He has a silver flip phone and she said when it shines in the light it looks like has pulling out a knife and wants to kill her. He thought this was crazy because he was nothing but nice to her and eventually she just kept assuming the phone was a knife and they broke up in January 06 when she said to him I cant be with you imp too afraid your going to slit my throat. So my friend was just like...how does she get this assumption this is crazy I would never kill her. So time goes on and they just become more distant and more distant and she makes excuses not to talk to him and whatever. So from January to April they barely talked at all. Then in April she asks him to go to a movie and he says ok and they go and everything is like before the sling the throat incident. So the summer goes on and she would be on and off with him and sometimes would hold his hand but if his mom looked their way she would pull away so the mother wouldn’t see them holding hands. Then she started to flirt with him again too and she saw him once in a while to go to the movies or something. Then this weekend is just what confused us both. She goes to a movie with him Friday and decides to hold hands this time when her mom looks over she doesn’t pull away then they go to grocery store later on and she does the same thing. Then she asks him to sleep over her house and her mother says ok long as he doesn’t sleep in the same room as you. So that’s what happened she was hanging with him till bout 3 then she went to bed in the other room. Then Sunday morning she was being flirty again and not pulling back holding hands. So he approaches her about it and: Robert: you said you don't want to be in a relationship with me because of how much you care about me and how close we are, and how you don't want to ruin that by having us break up, right?
Robert: not as the only reason why, but just as part of it?
Amy: yeah.
Amy: Yeah.*
Amy: I don't want to ruin it by going out with you, and having things happen that I don't approve of, and then hating you for it. I just don't want anything to lead to hate.
Robert: Amy...we broke up before, remember?
Robert: it brought me closer to you
Robert: because it made me realize how much you mean to me, and how much I really do care about you, and how I didn't want to lose you entirely
Amy: I don't ever want to date you again.
Robert: =/
Robert: well...thanks for being straight-forward, I guess
Amy: I remember at first, I told you that we were too close and that we should probably never actually go out.
Amy: Once we did, I thought it was the worst thing that had ever happened because to me, it felt like I was trap and things I said were being traced. I couldn't be sick, because to say no to seeing you meant that the world was pretty much ending. It was like so frustrating because I couldn't satisfy us both. Amy: Be happy with what I have to offer.
Robert: you said you don't want to date me/be with me ever again
Amy: Not nw.
Amy: now*
Amy: I feel like I don't.
Amy: So, later doesn't matter because I'm not a prophet to tell if there ever will be a 'later'.
Robert: no...you said ever again
Amy: That's how I feel now.
Amy: Doesn't mean it could change.
Amy: You forget, a lady changes her mind more than the clock ticks.
Amy: couldn't*
Robert: and you forget that a guy has just as many feelings as a girl
Amy: Okay.
Amy: What you want is ME.
Amy: That's all you want.
Amy: You seem to not want to settle for anything less.
Amy: I can't help that.
Amy: I tell you everything that goes on my life. You know more about me than like anyone in this world. You're more than a friend. You do more than listen, and care.
Amy: I want to be there for you when you're at your worst.
Amy: I don't want you in a sexual-kind of way.
Robert: did I say you had to? no
Amy: I'm just telling you.
Robert: I don't want you to want me in that sort of way
Amy: Okay.
Robert: but you're throwing it away...so whatever
Amy: What am I throwing away?
Amy: Stuff that I don't want?
Robert: you know what, you're right
Robert: sorry I’m not what you want
Amy: I want you as a friend.
Amy: I want you, but not the way you want me to want you.
Amy: That's the thing.
Amy: That's where our differences clash.
Robert: I want you as someone I can hug and hold and be with and laugh with
Amy: You can.
Robert: obviously not by what you're saying
Amy: no.
Amy: No.
Robert: because that's what I see as a real relationship Amy
Amy: I want you to be there for me, and me be there for you through good and bad.
Robert: not the kissing, not any sexual stuff, none of it
Amy: I want to hug, and laugh.
Amy: That's what I want.
Robert: it's the connection and bond you build with someone
Amy: So, at least we want the same thing there.
Robert: that's what I see as a relationship
Robert: if you see it as something else, then I guess we don't see eye-to-eye
Amy: I don't want a relationship where if I don't like something, I can't back out of it.
Robert: and the only way I see doing what I want, is in a relationship with someone, and not as "just friends"
Robert: because that's where I see it as being lies
Amy: How is it all lies?
Amy: You mean, you can laugh, hug, hold, and be with someone only in a relationship? What do you consider a friendship then? You can't laugh, be there, and such for them either?
Robert: not the way we have Amy
Robert: but, I get it Amy
Robert: you don't love me that way anymore So he told me about this and I didn’t know what to tell him can anyone shed some light on this subject and possibly what her mindset/expectations are thanks. It just makes no sense to us that one minute she’s holding his hand and flirting then hours later she says this.
-- Posted by Rastafarian at 1:11 am on Oct. 23, 2006
one wanted a relationship.
the other wanted a friend with benefits.
but apparently those benefits don't go so far as sex, but rather companionship.
-- Posted by kenseth17 at 1:25 am on Oct. 23, 2006
Ok uh thats true but isnt companionship part of a relationship as well
-- Posted by j jones2004 at 2:06 am on Oct. 23, 2006
Just sounds to me like Amy likes the "power" she has over Robert. She loves the idea that Robert wants her so bad and she can say no to him but she still knows he will come back. Some girls are like that (as are some guys) - they like the feeling of having power over someone.
-- Posted by Dexus at 9:15 am on Oct. 23, 2006
Quote: from kenseth17 at 9:25 am on Oct. 23, 2006
 Ok uh thats true but isnt companionship part of a relationship as well
Yes it is, but it seems she just wants to be friends.
Kinda like the same thing with my ex-girlfriend, she loves me and wants us to be very close friends with the benefits you would receive in a relationship and I want the relationship.
And it hurts to be honest. But if she doesn't want a relationship then he shouldn't force it upon her, if she really cares and loves him more than a friend, she'll come to him in time, just as long as he shows a general interest. But It will be hell trying to be close friends and always wanting more.
-- Posted by FurryPanther at 10:13 am on Oct. 23, 2006
Let me see if I understand this right: Robert wants what he is defining as a "meaningful relationship" with Amy, and this relationship would be boyfriend-girlfriend formalized. Meaning he wants the relationship to be similar to really good friends, who are there for eachother no matter what. Who are willing to support the other through anything. However, there is no sexual portion to the relationship, whatsoever. Amy wants more-or-less the same thing, but doesn't want to formalize it at all. Just a passive relationship in which they help eachother, but without the gritty details of "going out." FP
-- Posted by TnGirl at 10:29 am on Oct. 23, 2006
she wants power he need to move on an find aother girl
-- Posted by HazelEyes at 11:57 am on Oct. 23, 2006
Well she is a very confusing girl.Your friend deserves better.She just keeps leading him on to think that something could happen between them and then be cold towards him.
She wants to be friends with benefits,he wants a relationship.He decide what he wants to do.If he is just friends with her than that is going to play with his emotions and make him more confused.
As for the whole knife/phone thing...That is really odd.I think she was just trying to find an excuse to dump him.Your friend has a lot to think about.If he wants to be with her(when she wants) or not be with her at all and save him a lot of headaches in the end. Best of luck!
-- Posted by kenseth17 at 12:17 pm on Oct. 23, 2006
Quote: from FurryPanther at 1:13 pm on Oct. 23, 2006
Let me see if I understand this right: Robert wants what he is defining as a "meaningful relationship" with Amy, and this relationship would be boyfriend-girlfriend formalized. Meaning he wants the relationship to be similar to really good friends, who are there for eachother no matter what. Who are willing to support the other through anything. However, there is no sexual portion to the relationship, whatsoever. Amy wants more-or-less the same thing, but doesn't want to formalize it at all. Just a passive relationship in which they help eachother, but without the gritty details of "going out."
FP
No not excatly some guys refuse to even date a girl unless they have sex, blow job, etc. Hes just saying that hes not gonna like force any of that stuff upon her and isnt in the relationship for ONLY those things and those things will come as time develops and when she is ready
-- Posted by Aqua at 12:39 pm on Oct. 23, 2006
I knew a girl just like that, your mate doesn't deserve the shit that goes along with her. She is just going to mess him about..
-- Posted by ilovecookies at 1:04 pm on Oct. 23, 2006
Hmm. She really is quite the enigma. I really don't know what to say, either. From this side of the fence, it seems like she's playing around with him. Telling him she wants him in ways she would want a boyfriend, and then telling him she doesn't want a boyfriend. I think he needs to be clear about this to her. Tell her how he feels. This has got to be a two-way situation. How does he want her? Aparently, as a girlfriend. But if she doesn't want him as a boyfriend, then the pieces don't match, and I guess they'll just have to move on. I don't know why, but for some reason she seems to be playing around with him. Holding him in place as she tries to figure out what she wants. However, the world doesn't work that way. The world doesn't stop for her to figure out what she wants, and that's what she needs to understand. Robert wants her NOW. Like she said, it could change. If she doesn't want him now, then so be it. She can go play around with someone else, elsewhere. I don't know what is up with the whole flip phone thing. I really don't. Maybe she's having issues or something that she needs to deal with. I dunno. It seems to me that she was "trying to back out of a situation she doesn't want to be in". So, from that, it seems clear that she doesn't want Robert in the way that he wants her. I think he should have one last talk with her. Tell her how he feels, and see how she feels. Straight out. No half-assed flip-phone excuses. They need to see eye-to-eye this once, so they can know for sure what future lies ahead of them. If there is one. I guess that's all I have to say, really. If there is anything I can do, feel free to message me.
Goodluck with everything.
All the best.
-- Posted by kenseth17 at 1:19 pm on Oct. 23, 2006
Something else she keeps saying to him is relationships arent for her but if the right guy comes along one day shell marry him isn't that hinting to him that HE ISN'T the right guy.
-- Posted by Aqua at 1:35 pm on Oct. 23, 2006
Quote: from kenseth17 at 1:19 pm on Oct. 23, 2006
Something else she keeps saying to him is relationships arent for her but if the right guy comes along one day shell marry him isn't that hinting to him that HE ISN'T the right guy.
Yeh, she isn't really interested just wants a play-thing lusting for her that she can do with what she will.
-- Posted by ilovecookies at 1:36 pm on Oct. 23, 2006
Yeah. Kinda. Just re-enforces the point that she seems to want him to be there for her, UNTIL she finds someone new. And then he's garbage.
-- Posted by kenseth17 at 2:06 pm on Oct. 23, 2006
Heres another thing that i think gets her mad and i really kind of don't blame her..........He dropped out of school in 10th grade, he hasnt been back, he doesnt work, he doesnt have his license and does nothing but sits home and plays video games all day. I think this defintely darkens her views on him and turns her off
-- Posted by emonkey85 at 2:17 pm on Oct. 23, 2006
Amy doens't seem like a very compassionate person. She wants to be in a relationship but wants to be able to back out of it whenever she can to avoid the challenges and pain a relationship can sometimes cause. Your friend deserves better than her.
-- Posted by kenseth17 at 2:40 pm on Oct. 23, 2006
Quote: from emonkey85 at 5:17 pm on Oct. 23, 2006
Amy doens't seem like a very compassionate person. She wants to be in a relationship but wants to be able to back out of it whenever she can to avoid the challenges and pain a relationship can sometimes cause. Your friend deserves better than her.
That sounds pretty dead on its like she wants him or any guy but doesnt want the emotional attachemnt and wants to break off at any time she chooses without having strings she cant cut off These are all great responses but the question i have is what should he do next? what should he say and do etc? Thanks
-- Posted by big mac at 2:45 pm on Oct. 23, 2006
Quite the individuals we have here. What we have is a conflict between two people who want the EXACT same thing, but they define it differently. As Robert had said quite distinctively, he wants Amy, and he wants her right now. Unfortunately i don't think Robert can accept the fact that what Amy wants is not what he wants, but it is. They are both looking for the same thing form each other. But Amy wants less commitment in her situation then Robert does. Amy wants a friendship, an everlasting friendship. Something special to her, because as she said, she has told Robert things that she does not tell to anyone, and that makes Robert very special to her. That does not mean that she can have feelings for him though. Remember there is a distinct line between knowing someone is attractive and thinking they are attractive. It sounds like Amy does not look at Robert as someone she can spend the rest of her life with. As i understand it, Amy loves Robert. But she is not IN love with him. Robert is the exact opposite in many retrospects. He "Loves" Amy in many ways. Robert is essentially looking for the same thing Amy wants, except with more commitment attached. He wants her to love him. And right now, it's not going to happen. And Amy has already made that abundantly clear in their conversation. As quoted:
I just don't want anything to lead to hate.
I don't ever want to date you again.
She made it clear that she does not to date Robert, and Robert has made it clear that he wants to date her. BUT at the same time they both want the same thing from each other, a companion. This whole situation comes down to the fact that Robert has to accept the fact that he is not going to change Amy's mind about their "relationship." What she did in the grocery store and what it could quite possibly come down to the fact that she feels comfortable about around Robert enough to do those things. Unfortunately it sends the wrong signals to Robert. In the end basically this "complicated" situation comes down to one final resolution. Robert wants Amy.
Amy doesn't want Robert. Robert will have to move on with this and accept the fact. Amy just wants to have a fantastic friendship with him. Unfortunately Robert isn't ready to accept that and seems he'll only have Amy if he gets her his way. Which isn't going to happen by the sounds of it. He'll have to move on. If you have any other questions, concerns about the situation, what I've said, or anything in general please feel free to PM me anytime.
Warm Regards,
-BM
-- Posted by kenseth17 at 4:51 pm on Oct. 24, 2006
He talked to her heres the results from the convo he had with me and mary is a girl that lived liek 6 hours from me that i went to visit a couple times he references her later on Robert (10/24/2006 7:08:46 PM): what it basically comes down to is
Robert (10/24/2006 7:08:49 PM): i was right
Robert (10/24/2006 7:09:02 PM): it's pretty much all about the distance and not being able to see each other every day
Me (10/24/2006 7:09:43 PM): but as long as u see her on a weekend who cares?
Robert (10/24/2006 7:09:47 PM): no
Robert (10/24/2006 7:09:50 PM): she cares
Me (10/24/2006 7:10:03 PM): but isnt there some sort of compromise that can be mde here
Me (10/24/2006 7:10:07 PM): u live 20 mins apart
Me (10/24/2006 7:10:13 PM): its not that far
Robert (10/24/2006 7:10:16 PM): that's the thing
Robert (10/24/2006 7:10:20 PM): because it's only 20-30 minutes
Robert (10/24/2006 7:10:26 PM): we SHOULD be able to see each other every day
Robert (10/24/2006 7:10:28 PM): and we aren't
Robert (10/24/2006 7:10:54 PM): and that's because of not having a license and my mom never doing anything
Me (10/24/2006 7:10:59 PM): but its not required to she has a busy life so long as u talk somehow and see her on wekeends whats the problem?
Robert (10/24/2006 7:11:08 PM): you don't get it ken.....
Robert (10/24/2006 7:11:24 PM): if you wken to be in a relationship, you're supposed to see each other more than just on the weekends
Robert (10/24/2006 7:11:34 PM): otherwise, it strains it too much
Robert (10/24/2006 7:11:48 PM): it makes you wken to see them more, and makes things harder to deal with
Me (10/24/2006 7:12:05 PM): yea but even if u drove and whatever doesnt she have a real busy life anyway
Robert (10/24/2006 7:12:08 PM): and it isn't so much that she has a busy life
Robert (10/24/2006 7:12:16 PM): she works on weekends only
Robert (10/24/2006 7:12:19 PM): and that's at night
Robert (10/24/2006 7:12:32 PM): so why can't i see her during the day?
Robert (10/24/2006 7:12:36 PM): you get the point?
Me (10/24/2006 7:12:39 PM): u could
Robert (10/24/2006 7:12:45 PM): i CAN'T though
Robert (10/24/2006 7:12:48 PM): because i have no license
Me (10/24/2006 7:12:48 PM): but i dont thinks a reuirement to see them EVERY DAY
Robert (10/24/2006 7:12:53 PM): and my mom never wkens to go anywhere
Robert (10/24/2006 7:13:09 PM): for a relationship, you NEED to see that person more than on weekends though
Robert (10/24/2006 7:13:14 PM): what part of that don't you get?
Robert (10/24/2006 7:14:26 PM): the only solution to this would be to have a job in the morning/afternoon like my mom does
Robert (10/24/2006 7:14:33 PM): the whole 4-5am til noon
Robert (10/24/2006 7:14:39 PM): get my license
Robert (10/24/2006 7:14:41 PM): get a car
Robert (10/24/2006 7:14:48 PM): and see her after i work
Me (10/24/2006 7:14:56 PM): why cken she come to see you
Robert (10/24/2006 7:14:58 PM): that'd be the only way things would be right
Me (10/24/2006 7:15:01 PM): she drivs
Robert (10/24/2006 7:15:02 PM): because she doesn't have gas money
Robert (10/24/2006 7:15:05 PM): dumbass
Me (10/24/2006 7:15:09 PM): and you do?
Robert (10/24/2006 7:15:13 PM): no, i don't
Me (10/24/2006 7:15:23 PM): so even if you get a job
Robert (10/24/2006 7:15:33 PM): if i get a job
Robert (10/24/2006 7:15:35 PM): i'll have the money
Me (10/24/2006 7:15:37 PM): your gonna waste ur money go seeing her when she has no intetions of seeing you?
Robert (10/24/2006 7:15:41 PM): because i'll be working mostly full-time
Robert (10/24/2006 7:15:46 PM): she does have intentions of seeing me
Robert (10/24/2006 7:15:51 PM): she doesn't have the money to
Robert (10/24/2006 7:15:53 PM): idiot
Me (10/24/2006 7:16:03 PM): i think she woudl find ways if she really wkened to
Robert (10/24/2006 7:16:05 PM): jesus you're mixing everything up and making your own conclusions
Robert (10/24/2006 7:16:16 PM): she's gonna spend the money she doesn't have?
Robert (10/24/2006 7:17:08 PM): she doesn't have the money to spend on gas money when she has to help her mom pay for things
Robert (10/24/2006 7:17:12 PM): and she works a mere 3 days a week
Me (10/24/2006 7:17:16 PM): so why not take a bus
Robert (10/24/2006 7:17:19 PM): ........
Robert (10/24/2006 7:17:21 PM): you don't get it
Robert (10/24/2006 7:17:25 PM): so i'm not even going to bother anymore
Me (10/24/2006 7:17:39 PM): what im just saying my sister sees her bf on weekdns only and their fine
Me (10/24/2006 7:18:53 PM): because shes inc ollege and shit
Me (10/24/2006 7:19:48 PM): look even u get a job and shit ull go see her whatever then is she gonna find ways to get money to come p and see u as well or are u putting in all the work is my q
Robert (10/24/2006 7:20:21 PM): she can't do it right now because she doesn't have money
Robert (10/24/2006 7:20:28 PM): she's wasted so much money the last two weeks
Me (10/24/2006 7:20:43 PM): so her mom cMerive her to ur house why
Robert (10/24/2006 7:20:47 PM): between seeing me like three times, her mom using her money to fix the car
Robert (10/24/2006 7:20:55 PM): because her mom is behind on bills
Me (10/24/2006 7:21:10 PM): and her mom has no money for gas either
Robert (10/24/2006 7:21:18 PM): they barely have any food in their house, that's how far back she is
Me (10/24/2006 7:22:42 PM): yes but not having money to drive is a lame ezxcuse
Me (10/24/2006 7:22:58 PM): cause i mean is it required that everytime u hang out u gotta do something
Me (10/24/2006 7:23:12 PM): what if she just took a bus to ur house thats liek $5 and u just hung out
Me (10/24/2006 7:23:14 PM): or osmehting
Robert (10/24/2006 7:23:18 PM): yea, and she wastes her money on gas and shit to come see me
Robert (10/24/2006 7:23:26 PM): there are no buses out here
Robert (10/24/2006 7:23:40 PM): we aren't in a suburban area
Me (10/24/2006 7:24:06 PM): i assume she pays her gas cahs
Robert (10/24/2006 7:24:08 PM): and why the fuck is she going to take a bus when she has her license?
Robert (10/24/2006 7:24:11 PM): no
Robert (10/24/2006 7:24:15 PM): she pays it by debit
Robert (10/24/2006 7:24:23 PM): in which she barely has anything in her account
Me (10/24/2006 7:24:28 PM): um becuas eshes complaing bout how much it cost to see you
Me (10/24/2006 7:24:32 PM): so it woudl save money
Robert (10/24/2006 7:25:23 PM): ok, then it that case, why don't you pay money to go see mary? you see my point?
Me (10/24/2006 7:25:33 PM): thats a little different
Robert (10/24/2006 7:25:34 PM): it isn't just something you can up and do
Robert (10/24/2006 7:25:37 PM): no, it isn't different
Robert (10/24/2006 7:25:44 PM): it's pretty much the same exact thing
Me (10/24/2006 7:25:44 PM): yes it is thats 5 and a half hours of driving
Me (10/24/2006 7:25:47 PM): not 25 mintues
Robert (10/24/2006 7:25:48 PM): so what?
Robert (10/24/2006 7:25:51 PM): it's still driving
Robert (10/24/2006 7:25:53 PM): and money
Me (10/24/2006 7:25:59 PM): 5 and ahalf hours takes a full tank of gas
Robert (10/24/2006 7:26:03 PM): your point?
Me (10/24/2006 7:26:05 PM): and ur not gonna make that trip every weekend
Me (10/24/2006 7:26:11 PM): 25 minutes doesnt evn take a quarter
Robert (10/24/2006 7:26:14 PM): it's the same exact thing
Me (10/24/2006 7:26:20 PM): 25 minutes is like 5 bucks of gas
Me (10/24/2006 7:26:39 PM): i mean if she works how does she have no moeny
Robert (10/24/2006 7:27:23 PM): again...you don't fucking get it
Me (10/24/2006 7:27:37 PM): how much does she make a weekdnd working
Robert (10/24/2006 7:27:56 PM): $30-45
Me (10/24/2006 7:28:04 PM): thats it?
Me (10/24/2006 7:29:06 PM): wht does she do anytway
Me (10/24/2006 7:31:42 PM): makes 15 dollars a day
Robert (10/24/2006 7:32:08 PM): $5-something an hour, usually only 5-9 or 6-9 or something
Me (10/24/2006 7:32:22 PM): doig what though
Robert (10/24/2006 7:32:47 PM): she works in a small pizza shop
Me (10/24/2006 7:33:09 PM): oh so why doesnt she just work more get more money then she could go see you
Robert (10/24/2006 7:33:16 PM): .........
Robert (10/24/2006 7:33:21 PM): just no
Robert (10/24/2006 7:33:22 PM): stop now
Robert (10/24/2006 7:33:23 PM): seriously
Me (10/24/2006 7:33:27 PM): why not though?
Robert (10/24/2006 7:33:31 PM): you're making yourself look more and more like a dumbass
Me (10/24/2006 7:33:42 PM): shes making this an issue when its not one
Robert (10/24/2006 7:33:50 PM): no, you are
Me (10/24/2006 7:34:18 PM): i m just sayign tehres ways around a 25 minute gap id love to be 25 mins away frm someone i liked it would be alot easier she has no right to complain
Robert (10/24/2006 7:34:35 PM): and you have money from selling things on ebay
Me (10/24/2006 7:34:41 PM): yes
Robert (10/24/2006 7:34:41 PM): she doesn't
Robert (10/24/2006 7:34:43 PM): neither do i
Robert (10/24/2006 7:34:47 PM): therefore, we can't do a damn thing
Robert (10/24/2006 7:34:53 PM): especially when she has to manage what little she does
Robert (10/24/2006 7:34:57 PM): you don't understand that though
Me (10/24/2006 7:35:23 PM): im just saying if she really wkened to see u she would beg her mom to drive her out to you or she woudl bug u to convince ur mom to do it
Robert (10/24/2006 7:35:34 PM): no, she wouldn't
Robert (10/24/2006 7:35:48 PM): you just don't get it
Me (10/24/2006 7:36:03 PM): im just sying then how bad does she wken to see u then
Robert (10/24/2006 7:36:08 PM): therefore, give up and stop talking about it
-- Posted by kenseth17 at 12:16 am on Oct. 25, 2006
no comments?
-- Posted by big mac at 1:33 pm on Oct. 28, 2006
good lord your friend Robert is a stubborn individual. I can't help but agree with your view in that conversation. Robert seems to be too stubborn with this whole endeavour. He's not willing to take in the opinions of others unless their telling him what he wants to hear. And Ken, i think you were absolutely right with your points. There is always a way around something if you have the will and drive to do it. Robert fails to see that. He's essentially making an excuse for the way things have panned out with Amy. She doesn't want to be with him, or she does, which is neither important at this time yet. And Robert fails to accept that fact. So he says that instead of believing the fact that Amy isn't attracted to him, he blames it on the fact that she cannot find a way to see him. Essentially what Robert is doing is that he does not want to accept the past endeavours with Amy and instead is making an excuse to lighten the events that happened. After all, its not as bad if two peole can't be together because of situation, instead of no attraction. and thats what Robert has made himself believe. Like i said before, he will have to move on.
-- Posted by kenseth17 at 1:49 pm on Oct. 28, 2006
This morning: Robert:oh, and you were somewhat right about Amy
Me:... how so?
Robert:yesterday i asked her what she was doing today
Robert:she said "i might be going to the final football game"
Robert:so i say "alright, well let me know if you're going cause i'll ask if i can go"
Robert:she gets snotty with me and says "well i didn't ask if you wanted to go, and i don't want you to go"
Me:wow....any reason
Robert:not really
-- Posted by big mac at 1:54 pm on Oct. 28, 2006
As I've said before, I don't think Robert has come to terms with what has happened to him and Amy. He's in denial simply. And by the looks of that conversation it looks like Amy is getting frustrated with it also. I believe she offered him the ultimatum essentially to become exceptionally good friends with her, and he didn't necessarily agree with that. So in turn, it's only natural that Amy would become frustrated with the fact that Robert simply does not get it. As much as i know your trying to help your friend here on everything, this may turn out to be one of those situations where he'll have to figure things out for himself.
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