-- Posted by dirty paws at 8:02 am on Dec. 29, 2006 to make a long story short I'm in a lesbian relation ship and would never leave her over something like this i just needed to get it out.... sometimes i want a baby. i would rather adopt a baby so it could be equally "ours and not ours" but my girlfriend doesn't want to have kids. i knew this before we got together but she also knew that i did want kids. we sometimes get into "arguments" about it but i know she doesn't want kids so i just want to stop talking about it. is there anything i can do to make this wanting to have a baby feeling go away? I'm 22 and she's a bit older so please dont say that she will change her mind later. anyway i just had to get this out. -- Posted by bukkakejesus at 8:04 am on Dec. 29, 2006 Get a puppy? -- Posted by Cunning Stunt at 8:04 am on Dec. 29, 2006 sounds like youve still got your maternal instinct and she doesnt -- Posted by dirty paws at 8:05 am on Dec. 29, 2006 Quote: from bukkakejesus at 8:04 am on Dec. 29, 2006 Get a puppy? do you think a puppy will be the same? -- Posted by bukkakejesus at 8:06 am on Dec. 29, 2006 Quote: from dirty paws at 8:05 am on Dec. 29, 2006 Quote: from bukkakejesus at 8:04 am on Dec. 29, 2006 Get a puppy? do you think a puppy will be the same? Oh no, of course not.  But I think it may help, you're always going to want a child... it's who you are, you can't really make that feeling just go poof. -- Posted by soccerdude14 at 8:07 am on Dec. 29, 2006 have u evr tried to adopt? -- Posted by Periwinkle at 8:07 am on Dec. 29, 2006 Sounds tricky... Maybe you could babysit, or become a social worker, or help out at some kind of group like brownies or something...? -- Posted by me0 at 8:08 am on Dec. 29, 2006 im only seventeen but i'm imagining myself being in your position. i imagine it's normal for women around ur age to feel the desire to have kid(s)? i think with time it will pass? i think adopting a baby is a good idea... it would make things much easier also -- Posted by dirty paws at 8:09 am on Dec. 29, 2006 i think that would just make me want to have a kid of my own -- Posted by bukkakejesus at 8:09 am on Dec. 29, 2006 Quote: from soccerdude14 at 8:07 am on Dec. 29, 2006 have u evr tried to adopt? Have you ever tried reading all of a topic before posting? -- Posted by me0 at 8:10 am on Dec. 29, 2006 i thought of the puppy thing, a seven year old can take care of a puppy - it would be MUCh different. puppy doesnt provide fulfillment - the feeling of knowing youve made a difference to a child's life, i dont think u "bring up" a puppy, i think you simply take care of it. -- Posted by me0 at 8:11 am on Dec. 29, 2006 hehe i love puppies. -- Posted by bukkakejesus at 8:14 am on Dec. 29, 2006 Quote: from me0 at 8:10 am on Dec. 29, 2006 i thought of the puppy thing, a seven year old can take care of a puppy - it would be MUCh different. puppy doesnt provide fulfillment - the feeling of knowing youve made a difference to a child's life, i dont think u "bring up" a puppy, i think you simply take care of it. Obviously, but it's the next best thing.  A puppy will require a lot of care and training for the first few weeks of it's life. So in a way, you will be "bringing it up", it just doesn't take as long or as much work to do. After that, you will have its selfless love. -- Posted by MakeUpMySmile at 8:18 am on Dec. 29, 2006 A relationship is about compromise and both people need to stop being selfish and think about their other partner. I'm a 21 yr-old girl and I know the feeling of wanting to be a mother. Having children is an experience that every woman she be offered regardless of their sexual orientation. If your partner truly loves you she'll remain in the relationship with you even after you adopt your child. You let her know that she doesn't have to be active in this child's life...after all this is UR baby but she needs to respect that you have needs and you want to give this baby your love and attention while you are young and able. If she doesn’t agree on adoption then I suggest you go to an adoption agency and try to adopt yourself, go to a sperm bank and get a donor, or see if any of your male friends are willing to help you in this process. No one should give up their dreams to make someone else happy.... having a baby is the right thing. If you really feel that you are ready for this then make the first big mommy decision and look out for your baby’s well being and not anyone else’s…go adopt your baby. -- Posted by Kristen exohh at 8:21 am on Dec. 29, 2006 Some people want different things out of life. That's why a lot of people do end up breaking up. There's nothing you can do really. If you want children, you want children. You're either going to have to break up, or keep quiet about it, which really would be rather stressful. -- Posted by dunebug at 10:48 am on Dec. 29, 2006 That's a tricky situation and I agree with Kristen, unfortunately. It doesn't sound like this relationship is going to last. Baby fever really doesn't go away, it just gets worse. And I doubt she'll change her mind about having kids if she hasn't already and she's up in to her 20s. You really shouldn't shut-up just to make her happy and she shouldn't consent to make you happy. :-/ You'll really just have to see how it goes over the next few years I guess. Unless you can come to some sort of compromise. I think working in a daycare or babysiting or nannying might be a good compromise. For some it does make baby fever worse but for most it seems to give them the fill of having a child they need and then makes them appreciate NOT having a child. You can enjoy the good times, playing wtih them for a few hours a day and then come home and get a good nights sleep without the crying and worrying about finances and such. :-) Just an idea. -- Posted by Kayling at 11:08 am on Dec. 29, 2006 I agree with dunebug. You shouldn't have to compromise what you want to make her happy, but she also shouldn't have to put up with a baby/kid if she doesn't want them.