LiveWire Peer Support Network

Printable Version of Topic "College Life!!"

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-- Posted by chick8706 at 8:15 pm on Feb. 11, 2007

Ok so last semester was my first semester in college and I stayed in the dorms. I was so excited and all, because I finally got to get out of the house. My parents and I didn't get along that well. I was there two days and was homesick bad!! People told me it would get better, but it didn't that whole semester was horrible!! I had no one to talk to and tried to make friends, and the ones I made I never got to see and hang out with due to having a job!! Well this semester I am driving back and forth because the college is just 30 minutes from my home town. I was just wondering if anyone has any ideas that will help me when I go to another college this fall that is about 2 hours away?? And have any of you been this homesick and how did you get over it so fast??


-- Posted by Jessgirl at 8:18 pm on Feb. 11, 2007

im sorry....im goin to college in August and it is 2 hrs away...plus  I have a house, not a dorm, so it'll be pretty lonely...call your mom a lot. Her voice should help soothe you. I won't know how bad it'll be for me when I move, but I am really excited. I hope you will be ok soon :\  

do you have a job? I would think it would be best to keep yourself busy with school/work/friends (start meeting some new people) that way you can only have time to be homesick when you are sleeping!

hope this helps....good luck


-- Posted by MahoganyLily at 8:20 pm on Feb. 11, 2007

I go home every couple of weeks.  


-- Posted by Another Chance at 8:20 pm on Feb. 11, 2007

God you guys, I'm living at home while going to college. I'm dirt poor.


-- Posted by crabigailrose at 8:25 pm on Feb. 11, 2007

i know how you feel, i hate being so far from home sometimes. i live 4 hours from home if the weather is good. if the roads are bad, it takes anywhere up to like 9 or 10 h ours to get home. and i can't even really go "home" anymore cuz my parents gave my room to my little sister, so i end up staying in a guest bed (i have only been away from home for a semester ima freshmen in college)


-- Posted by samaside at 9:33 pm on Feb. 11, 2007

Fortunately, I don't get homesick. I come from a military family and we're used to being apart. My family is currently stationed in Missouri and I go to college in California. I get to go home once a year for Christmas.

Everyone else, though, seems to go home every weekend.

I guess you've just got to make it work. Yeah, you'll be sad, but you can't let it get to you. It has to happen eventually. You can't rely on your family and old friends forever.

Get involved with clubs, go to class reviews, hang out with people from work...

You just really have to make a really big effort.


-- Posted by Mambo di Bango at 7:09 pm on Feb. 18, 2007

I'm in my final year of college and I still feel homesick now and then.  Its a normal part of student life, you just have to get it out of your system somehow, and find outlets for your homesickness, such getting your groceries from the same chain supermarket as your family, or cooking a dish that your mom is expert at, recreating the same level of comfort and homeliness in your dorm room.  It worked for me.

Its normal, so once you realise that, you'll learn to live with it and get on with your life.  If you want college to be an enjoyable experience, then you have to make an effort - join clubs, sign up for sports or activities - that way you can make friends who you can socialise with.

And if you want friends (who by the way, are 10x harder to make in college), they won't just come to you, you have to go to them.  You have to constantly take advantage of opportunities that present themselves to you - if you're having an interesting conversation with someone, don't end it there, ask for their number, tell them where you live or hang out and give them your number and ask them for a chat and some coffee somewhere.

There are endless possibilities.

Are you a shy person?


-- Posted by chick8706 at 3:22 pm on Feb. 19, 2007

Yeah I am shy, actually I am very shy!! I have to say it is harder to make friends in college then it was in high school!! I have tried talking to people, but they just blow me off and look at me like I am crazy for even talking to them in the first place!! Its hard for me to make friends, because I am not really a social person. I just hope it is better when I go to another college this fall!!


-- Posted by Mambo di Bango at 5:53 pm on Feb. 19, 2007

well, remember that practice makes perfect, if you can find a few people who you feel comfortable talking to and hanging out with, even if they're not very exciting, then you'll develop social skills, and then you can go on to talking more comfortably with other people who are more to your liking.

What worked for me was joining a club where the people were really really friendly and always having socials.  I befriended one of them, she's very popular and I ended up having lots of friends as a result even though I'm shy.

Actually, you may be shy but I don't think you're beyond help - its possible to improve your confidence and charm by actively working at it - and by that I don't mean telling yourself - I sucked today, I really have to make more of an effort.  Never put yourself down.  Instead, make use of all the opportunities available to you - if you join a club/society and they're having a social or a party - go to it, and start introducing yourself to people you'd feel comfortable with and enjoy yourself.

Most people act confident even when they're not feeling it, so don't be intimidated by the super cool, super confident people.

When you get personally invited to hang out or or to a party, never refuse, unless you're ill/have too much work to do.  Try to be 'out there' as much as possible, get out of your comfort zone.

And if you haven't already read it, I recommend 'Feel the fear and do it anyway' - its all about self-esteem, comfort zones etc.

And I suggest looking at sites online that specifically give tips on how to be less shy.  Half of being confident and chatty is to do with knowing technique, unwritten/unspoken rules of etiquette.  The other half is about thinking how great you are (which can be faked - and they say - if you pretend you are something, eventually you begin to believe it and be it).  You can do it, I can do it, anyone can do it if they apply themselves to it.

To me, an interesting, cool, charming person is someone who:

is friendly, knows when to laugh, is interested in what I have to say and responds to my comments and initiates other things about himself/herself which are interesting and relevant to what I'm saying.  The tone of your voice matters - if you have a monotonic voice, thats boring, and you should ideally smile as you're talking.

And I feel shallow for saying this, but clothes and appearance make a difference too - if you already haven't done so - get a stylish haircut, wear clothes that look good on you and are flattering and on the trendy side of things, look after your skin - this will add to your charm factor.


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