-- Posted by MoldyOrange at 9:27 pm on Mar. 26, 2007 Over the last few weeks I  have realized that I don't actually like my boyfriend. Everything that comes out of his mouth (which isn't much to begin with) is either outright flattery, some non-intelligent stereotype, or some random comment that isn't really funny. I just want to smack him upside the head everytime he opens his mouth. At the same time, I feel bad because I thought I really did like him so I made him go get an STD test (the blood one..) even though he is terrified of needles. We haven't even gotten the results back yet and I don't want to break his heart by turning him down.. but he's driving me off the walls! He wants to spend every waking minute of his time with me and it is driving me nuts. I need some alone time, you know? Plus, he seems to be headed nowhere. He has no real goals, and I think that he is super uncomfortable in his skin. I feel like he is a super nice guy but... for some other girl. I have no idea how to go about telling him this when I basically promised him that he could spend a few nights at my house over spring break and that he and I are going to prom together. (but obviously we won't if we break up.) So, in conclusion, I have no idea what to do. Keep him around? See if he changes? He is really nice some of the time... or break his heart by dumping him flat out.   -- Posted by freshness at 9:28 pm on Mar. 26, 2007 ouch... -- Posted by StopDropandDestroy at 9:29 pm on Mar. 26, 2007 don't string him on like that. Just make a clean break. -- Posted by UkraineGirl11 at 9:36 pm on Mar. 26, 2007 The longer you'll wait the more it will hurt. If he's such a nice guy than he'll understand that you are not feeling the same way and would would like to see him happy with a girl that suits him better. -- Posted by swimsis17 at 9:37 pm on Mar. 26, 2007 i was in the same bind last summer. we were together for like five months, two of which were pretty lame cuz i realized i didn't like him like that. i told him flat out i didn't want to go out with him cuz i didn't think we were compatible in that way. about a week or so was kind of awkward, but now we're pretty great friends. -- Posted by Rastafarian at 9:41 pm on Mar. 26, 2007 Have you voiced what you think of him, and how he acts? Although it may seem like a bad thing right now, perhaps you can make him realize that what he is doing is in fact, pushing you farther away, something he doesn't want. Tell him, that you need time alone, for personal space and non-stress relaxing enviournment. Then you need to re-evaluate your situation. Will he "change," and if so are you going to be happy with it? Or, if you feel that after telling him your feelings on the whole issue he is not capable of accepting them and dealing with them in order to try and make the relationship flourish, then shall you leave him? Basically, in the end I think rather then just staying with him, or just breaking it off clean, there is another option. That is tell him what you told us see what comes of it, and then making a decision. Relationship maturity comes from trying to make things work out, but not being afraid to pull out if you've tried things and your partner can't handle it. I don't think you necessarily don't like your boyfriend, you just don't like how ... enamored he has become with you, and would like him to show some more independance. That is purely my opinion however. Best of luck! -- Posted by MoldyOrange at 9:43 pm on Mar. 26, 2007 Quote: from Rastafarian at 9:41 pm on Mar. 26, 2007 Have you voiced what you think of him, and how he acts? Although it may seem like a bad thing right now, perhaps you can make him realize that what he is doing is in fact, pushing you farther away, something he doesn't want. Tell him, that you need time alone, for personal space and non-stress relaxing enviournment. Then you need to re-evaluate your situation. Will he "change," and if so are you going to be happy with it? Or, if you feel that after telling him your feelings on the whole issue he is not capable of accepting them and dealing with them in order to try and make the relationship flourish, then shall you leave him? Basically, in the end I think rather then just staying with him, or just breaking it off clean, there is another option. That is tell him what you told us see what comes of it, and then making a decision. Relationship maturity comes from trying to make things work out, but not being afraid to pull out if you've tried things and your partner can't handle it. I don't think you necessarily don't like your boyfriend, you just don't like how ... enamored he has become with you, and would like him to show some more independance. That is purely my opinion however. Best of luck! Thanks, that is really helpful. -- Posted by AndWhenHeFalleth at 9:46 pm on Mar. 26, 2007 You just described who my fiance was when we first met. I ended up explaining to him that I did care about him, that I loved him as a friend, but I just didn't have romantic feelings for him.  He took it hard at first, but he got over it in a few days, and he turned into my best friend. I gave him dating advice, cleaned him up, helped him study, etc.  He gave me a shoulder to lean on, and was the most supportive friend you could ever ask for.  When he started hearing blatantly honest criticism about himself, he started seeing his problems and fixing them.  He turned out to be a fantastic guy.  He really got his life together.  He'll have his AS degree in December, and is then going on for a BS.  He's holding down a full-time job, and working at getting into management. We ended up getting back together, needless to say. Anyways, this guy might turn out to be something really special.  He might not.  If he's anything like my fiance (and he sure sounds like it), he's going to need a reality check before he sees a problem.  Be honest with him, but be nice.  Make sure he understands that you don't think he's worthless - it just isn't a good fit and he deserves to be with someone who is as in love with him as he is with her.