-- Posted by kennedy at 5:11 pm on Feb. 5, 2008 I've been so excited to join a sorority since college began, but now that it's time to pledge I'm second guessing myself. I don't like that you can't back out. I don't like that you dedicate your life to it. I go home sometimes on weekends because I'm close by and I have a babysitting job for these rich people that I really can't afford to lose. So I don't want to have conflicts between my job and sorority events that will blacklist me or whatever. It's a big commitment, and all of a sudden I don't know if I want it. I like my free time. Apparently I won't have any after I join. I love my roommate and the group of friends I've made are all very cool, and I'm afraid that joining a sorority will mean I have to spend all my time with my sisters and not with my old friends. Another big thing is I don't always want to go out and party. Will that be a problem with them? I don't know. But I feel like I'll regret not joining. I still love the idea of a sorority and having sisters and doing the philanthropy thing, but I also love doing my own thing. And I feel like once you join a sorority, you lose being able to do your own thing. You have to do what they want with them all the time. Is anyone here in a sorority? Or know someone in a sorority? Help. I don't want to make this commitment if it's going to be a bad one. But I don't want to miss out either. -- Posted by lashful at 5:13 pm on Feb. 5, 2008 If it's going to conflict everything, then don't do it! -- Posted by Enzeru at 5:13 pm on Feb. 5, 2008 I thought once you pledge to a sorority/fraternity it was a life long commitment? -- Posted by hippielovechick at 5:13 pm on Feb. 5, 2008 im readign a really good book on sororoties called pledge maybe u should read it -- Posted by D Train at 5:14 pm on Feb. 5, 2008 You shouldn't ask us to make descisions for you about things like that....Even thought joing a sorority would benefit you in ways -- Posted by JennyColada at 5:14 pm on Feb. 5, 2008 I was never part of the greek system, but I know a few people who were. They all loved it, and I'm sure that it is a wonderful experience. Not ever sorority is going to be the same. Even the same groups on different campuses may vary, the game is all about picking the one that's right for you, the one that will help you be who you're supposed to be. If it's something that you're interested in you can always join next year, or second semester sometimes there is a mini-rush. Perhaps try talking to some girls from various sororities on your campus and see what they have to say. Rushing is a big deal, and it may conflict with some of your plans, but some sororities may even understand and be happy to help you keep your old friends AND make new ones, as well as your job. -- Posted by PimpMyHoes at 5:15 pm on Feb. 5, 2008 Its a great way to buy your friends. -- Posted by Meep123 at 5:17 pm on Feb. 5, 2008 Most people I've talked to regret joining their sororoity/frat. -- Posted by kennedy at 5:19 pm on Feb. 5, 2008 Quote: from Enzeru at 8:13 pm on Feb. 5, 2008 I thought once you pledge to a sorority/fraternity it was a life long commitment? It is, that's why I'm not sure if I'm ready to make that commitment. -- Posted by JennyColada at 5:22 pm on Feb. 5, 2008 Quote: from kennedy at 5:19 pm on Feb. 5, 2008 Quote: from Enzeru at 8:13 pm on Feb. 5, 2008 I thought once you pledge to a sorority/fraternity it was a life long commitment? It is, that's why I'm not sure if I'm ready to make that commitment. In all reality, you can drop out if you so decide. If you pick a bad sorority or the girls turn out to be not who you though, or if they expect too much from you, you can always go inactive or drop out or join a different one. It's not like you'll die if you leave, it's simply that most people enjoy it and don't want to. -- Posted by penguincube at 4:55 pm on Feb. 24, 2008 Your concerns are valid.  I know people that love sororities, so you still need to weigh both sides of the coin, but I think you need to consider if it is right for you...and right now it seems that it may not be. Your job and life outside of campus may interfere with sorority events, yes.  It may not exclude you entirely; I have friends who live off-campus and still enjoy the benefits of sorority life by attending only some of the optional events, while remaining active and socializing with sisters whenever possible.  But, there will be things that you will want to participate in, or that you are expected to, that conflict with your schedule. A big portion of your decision, too, is if you feel comfortable being institutionalized and dedicated to one group.  It's great for some people, but if you are having doubts and are the type of person that enjoys being able to shun responsibilities once in a while after a long day of classes and studying and not really have to account for anyone, then you might want to reconsider. There are other ways to be involved on campus besides greek organizations.  There are clubs and societies that require a lesser degree of involvement but still provide academic, social, and philanthropic opportunities.   You can still hang out with the friends you already have, and dedicate yourself to your research like you are doing while keeping up with various events going on, independent of a greek group. I'm not trying to talk you out of it, just saying there are other ways.  Remember that if you decide not to join one by the time you graduate, it's not something you can go back and do.  To me, though, Greek life seems very ideallistic.  Like College students have the power to change the world during the day and then party and have no worries at night.  And while I'd love to be involved in that part of college I just don't have the idealism...or the loyalty to do it. -- Posted by CherryxBomb at 4:16 pm on Feb. 26, 2008 Quote: from hippielovechick at 5:13 pm on Feb. 5, 2008 im readign a really good book on sororoties called pledge maybe u should read it yea thats a really good book. Pledged tells you everything you need to know about the Greek system from the point of veiws of real life soroity girls. read that, and then make your decision from there   -- Posted by Anonymous at 12:50 am on Oct. 4, 2008 Quote: from JennyColada at 5:22 pm on Feb. 5, 2008 Quote: from kennedy at 5:19 pm on Feb. 5, 2008 Quote: from Enzeru at 8:13 pm on Feb. 5, 2008 I thought once you pledge to a sorority/fraternity it was a life long commitment?    It is, that's why I'm not sure if I'm ready to make that commitment. In all reality, you can drop out if you so decide. If you pick a bad sorority or the girls turn out to be not who you though, or if they expect too much from you, you can always go inactive or drop out or join a different one. It's not like you'll die if you leave, it's simply that most people enjoy it and don't want to. actually, as a former member of the greek life system, if you join a social sorority (not a co-ed or honors fraternity--say the band fraternity, for example) and decide to no longer be a member of that particular sorority, you are ineligible to join another one. every sorority has a certain ritual they perform for initiations, meetings, etc., and every sorority considers these to be secret and sacred. if you've already seen the rituals for one sorority, they don't want you to join another one in case you spill the beans. i know it sounds crazy, but that's how it works. -- Posted by Zdrav at 4:30 pm on Oct. 4, 2008 I only have familiarity with frats, but my advice is that if you want to join one, make sure that you're comfortable in a frat environment because there's nothing worse than a frat guy who doesn't really belong in his own chapter. It's like getting the stigma of being a frat guy but reaping none of its supposed upsides (constant drinking, constant partying, crude attitudes, etc). -- Posted by JennyColada at 7:13 pm on Oct. 7, 2008 Quote: from Anonymous at 12:50 am on Oct. 4, 2008 Quote: from JennyColada at 5:22 pm on Feb. 5, 2008 Quote: from kennedy at 5:19 pm on Feb. 5, 2008 Quote: from Enzeru at 8:13 pm on Feb. 5, 2008 I thought once you pledge to a sorority/fraternity it was a life long commitment?     It is, that's why I'm not sure if I'm ready to make that commitment.    In all reality, you can drop out if you so decide. If you pick a bad sorority or the girls turn out to be not who you though, or if they expect too much from you, you can always go inactive or drop out or join a different one. It's not like you'll die if you leave, it's simply that most people enjoy it and don't want to. actually, as a former member of the greek life system, if you join a social sorority (not a co-ed or honors fraternity--say the band fraternity, for example) and decide to no longer be a member of that particular sorority, you are ineligible to join another one. every sorority has a certain ritual they perform for initiations, meetings, etc., and every sorority considers these to be secret and sacred. if you've already seen the rituals for one sorority, they don't want you to join another one in case you spill the beans. i know it sounds crazy, but that's how it works. That's nuts! Makes sense though, from your explanation. -- Posted by Sarmin at 8:52 am on Nov. 28, 2008 all the conflicts and blacklisting depend on the sorority and the people within it do you really want sisterhood with people would would black list you for going home rather than to a weekend picnic? I think you need to ask more questions such as this directly to the Sorority's so you are recieving answers from the source. good luck -- Posted by nichyb2 at 7:24 pm on Jan. 12, 2009 no, they suck. -- Posted by OodleNoodle at 10:13 pm on Jan. 13, 2009 It's not true. It doesn't suck up all of your time. I am in a sorority and I love it, we do all kinds of fun things with Greeks and non-Greeks. But most of them are not mandatory, unless you are running the event or it's a philanthropy thing.   Also, you actually can pledge after you graduate, as an alumna. At least in my sorority you can. Although the Greek life certainly won't be the same. At least that's how it works here. PM me if you want. -- Posted by twilightdancer at 5:11 pm on Feb. 11, 2009 Quote: from PimpMyHoes at 8:15 pm on Feb. 5, 2008 Its a great way to buy your friends. I agree with this. I think the whole idea is absolutely ridiculous. However, that being said, I've never talked to anyone who regretted joining one.  So apparently the money buys yo quality friends, but I think mine are pretty sweet too, and I get 'em for free. -- Posted by Evolutionism at 10:28 pm on Aug. 13, 2009 Don't do it. It looks like you'll be regretting it if you did. -- Posted by musicfan3 at 11:26 pm on Aug. 13, 2009 Quote: from Anonymous at 2:50 am on Oct. 4, 2008 Quote: from JennyColada at 5:22 pm on Feb. 5, 2008 Quote: from kennedy at 5:19 pm on Feb. 5, 2008 Quote: from Enzeru at 8:13 pm on Feb. 5, 2008 I thought once you pledge to a sorority/fraternity it was a life long commitment?   It is, that's why I'm not sure if I'm ready to make that commitment.    In all reality, you can drop out if you so decide. If you pick a bad sorority or the girls turn out to be not who you though, or if they expect too much from you, you can always go inactive or drop out or join a different one. It's not like you'll die if you leave, it's simply that most people enjoy it and don't want to. actually, as a former member of the greek life system, if you join a social sorority (not a co-ed or honors fraternity--say the band fraternity, for example) and decide to no longer be a member of that particular sorority, you are ineligible to join another one. every sorority has a certain ritual they perform for initiations, meetings, etc., and every sorority considers these to be secret and sacred. if you've already seen the rituals for one sorority, they don't want you to join another one in case you spill the beans. i know it sounds crazy, but that's how it works. Sounds like hazing to me.