-- Posted by Anonymous at 8:56 am on Mar. 21, 2008 Hey, I don't really know what to say,, I go around and I try to help out people, i do the best I can for my family, I try to go to school and I don't do anything to piss people off. I don't know if any of this is karma or what. I used to have a gf, and me and her were in love, not that kind of puppy love real love, the kind where you want to spend the rest of your life with them, and the kind where you want nothing else but their happiness. Well long story short she broke up with me because of her parents to start and then she told me as time went on how she missed me and how her new bf wasn't satisfying her, how I was a great bf and how she cried because we couldn't be together. Now I think i'm the only one crying. She told me not to long ago that she doesn't love me as any more than a friend anymore, that she was wrong to say all the things she she said to me, and that she felt trully what she said when she said it but, now she loves the new guy that is in her life and and amazingly he apparently makes her happier than she was with me, even though I gave blood, sweat and tears to make sure that she was happy and tried to solve her problems to be there for her when she was down and never getting angry at her. I'm still not angry, and I don't have it in me to hate her, I have never  been angry at her in all the time that we spent together which has been more than two years. I just hate how things before were almost perfect and when we were together she saw how much I loved her and loved me back, and I knew cause I could feel the sincerity. Now, that we are broken up she doesn't love me anymore..like wtf. I don't know what to do anymore....The night she told me for the last time that she didn't love me, my heart broke, I actually felt myself dying, and I tried to sleep after words and all I have is nightmares, some that scare me awake. I am not a little kid, and neither is she, we both know what the world is like for the most part and we were both respectful to one another, even when we talked about all this, we were still civil. I want her back, I can't help but want that, and I don't like that she is with the new guy, but, I want her to be happy even if it isn't with me, and so even heartbroken I tried to find a way to support her decision and help her to get through a personal crisis.     I am more than considering sleeping my life away or committing suicide, and I have been putting this off for so long because I always thought she needed me, that she loved me, and even though she says she doesn't I don't know if maybe it's just hope or what but, I feel like she does love me still, even if it is not at the forefront of her mind right now. This post is more of a rant than anything and really I don't know what to even begin to ask, I am just trying not to go insane right now, as my world crashes before my eyes. I guess if I had to ask a question it would be why on earth did God place and angel on earth if it was to tease me, she was the most amazing woman, still is and I can't have her, and I know I will not meet another who will make me anywhere near as happy... I am done trying to put myself out there when, the times I do, I don't end up getting what I need.