-- Posted by Anonymous at 6:22 pm on April 21, 2008 I haven't been this way in so long...yet here I sit pouring out the tears. I am seeing a psychologist...yet I cannot seem to figure out what's wrong with me   I feel so....down, so disconnected...so dead. I get waves of happiness and even then I fear my smiles are fake because deep down...I'm breaking and cracking...I'm falling and spiraling to a place I cannot get up from up. I don't want to die...I fear death, yet I fear life...I fear that even after three years of help as a teen that I cannot recover...that I cannot ever be normal...yet these past few years are the most normal I've ever been. I gave up the past and have moved on...yet the past never truly goes away now does it? It haunts me...eats me alive at times...I hear those words repeated constantly "You're worthless and no one will ever love you..." I try to forget...I try to remember I am someone...I am loved by someone...yet I fear that I'll lose it because I'm not good enough for anything. My self esteem is so low...so very low...yet no one could ever tell. -- Posted by lindsayxlovex at 6:24 pm on April 21, 2008 You have to just hold out and try and pull through all this. One day life will get better. I didnt believe it either but it really does. -- Posted by Catalyst11 at 6:24 pm on April 21, 2008 I'm terribly sorry to hear that, if you need anything just PM me.  I've dealt with the same thing in the past, from when I was 10 to when I was 14. -- Posted by QuelloBello at 6:25 pm on April 21, 2008 I can't really talk about this here, but feel free to PM me. It'll be aright.  :] -- Posted by darkrosesigh at 6:30 pm on April 21, 2008 first off, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN! been there, done that... honey, you gotta look in the mirror and tell yourself, "im the shit." repeat it until you mean it! get a haircut, go shopping, whatever you gotta do to convince yourself that you are as good as it gets.... and remember: life is beautiful. -- Posted by Another Chance at 6:34 pm on April 21, 2008 But you do know what's wrong. What's keeping you unhappy. Solve it. -- Posted by tashara aka TK at 6:35 pm on April 21, 2008 maybe u should just go out sind smell the fresh air the rite a hate not then throw it away