-- Posted by bangalore at 11:37 am on May 30, 2008 My dad has a chronic pain condition and the doctors have basically said "Oh, there really isn't anything we can do to fix it." Just to function and go to work he has had to rely on narcotic pain medication. This has been going for years, three or so I think. The thing is, his doctor stopped his medication all of a sudden and I don't even remember why. Since the day before yesterday he has been out of any medication, he can't go to work, he can't do anything. We're talking about this guy who would sometimes take 300mg of oxy just so he would be able to go to work. He's not a drug addict. This ISN'T FAIR. He doesn't fucking deserve this and he's so sick and he's getting worse. I feel like this is such a huge shock to his system and it scares me because I feel like he's going to die or something. I'm at my girlfriends house and I am so mad at myself for leaving him. I know there isn't anything I can do but I feel so goddamn bad. When I talk to him he sounds the worst I've ever heard him. He keeps crying and telling me how sorry he is. And I don't want him to be sorry, he has nothing to be sorry for. I wish someone could just tell me everything will be alright and he'll be okay but I really don't know. I'm so scared. I love my dad. -- Posted by enchantified at 11:40 am on May 30, 2008 Ok, basically, he shouldn't need too much medication; however, I think that the doctor was wrong here, as my cousin is a doctor, and he teaches me this stuff;  he shouldn't die from it, however, go to the doctor again, and tell him he needs medication.   Or give him paracetamol. -- Posted by Spirit of Desire at 11:42 am on May 30, 2008 i am pretty sure the doctor knows more than you do about wether he should get this medicine or not. -- Posted by taraxgoesxboom at 11:42 am on May 30, 2008 Wow, that's horrible, I'm sorry =( -- Posted by marshmellowman at 11:50 am on May 30, 2008 Quote: from enchantified at 7:40 pm on May 30, 2008 Ok, basically, he shouldn't need too much medication; however, I think that the doctor was wrong here, as my cousin is a doctor, and he teaches me this stuff;  he shouldn't die from it, however, go to the doctor again, and tell him he needs medication.   Or give him paracetamol. Dude, this is chronic pain, which paracetamol won't do much for. To the OP: I can understand how you feel. My mum has chronic back problems, and the amount of pills she takes daily can scare me. She's had an MRI scan before to see if they can find out what causes the problem, but they don't know. She's had many injections and various prescription drugs and on some days she can't manage. Luckily, she seems to be doing fine lately. In your position, I can completely see why you're angry. This is totally natural. We get angry at things that are beyond are control, especially when it hurts our loved ones, as we hate to see them in pain. You're right, this isn't fair. No-one deserves to be in so much pain, but we have to live through this, and push forward together so that you can enjoy your life, and make the most of it. In these cases, as the doctors said, if they don't know what's causing the problem, there isn't much they can do besides give him lots of medication. It is a pain to see a family member in this state, but there is not a lot you can do. Your dad is not in the best condition, but you have to understand that this is not your fault. You can't blame yourself for this, it would have happened regardless of any action you could have taken. It's natural for them to say how sorry they are, because they're in pain and they know it affects you too. Take that as a compliment that your dad really cares about you and that he really loves you. I know you want to cry, and if you have all that tension and feelings built up, it's okay to release it. However you have to comprehend yourself and get it together. You can't do anything about this, and you can't let this get you down so much. It is really sad to see someone like this, and it's only worse when they are someone you love so much. But if you let this affect you that much, you will be constantly sad and feeling down. However bad your dad might feel you have to try and make yourself feel better. Just think, it's what your dad would want. He would want you to be happy and enjoy yourself rather than just think about how bad he has it. Sadly no-one can say whether or not he will be alright. We have hope, and it is hope that will help us get through these dark times. But for hope to prevail, you need to put some effort into trying to make yourself feel better, because once you do, your dad will see this happiness and it will make him happier too. I hope that I have helped, and if you need to talk, feel free to PM me any time or reply back here. -- Posted by bangalore at 11:54 am on May 30, 2008 Quote: from marshmellowman at 11:50 am on May 30, 2008 Quote: from enchantified at 7:40 pm on May 30, 2008 Ok, basically, he shouldn't need too much medication; however, I think that the doctor was wrong here, as my cousin is a doctor, and he teaches me this stuff; he shouldn't die from it, however, go to the doctor again, and tell him he needs medication. Or give him paracetamol. Dude, this is chronic pain, which paracetamol won't do much for. To the OP: I can understand how you feel. My mum has chronic back problems, and the amount of pills she takes daily can scare me. She's had an MRI scan before to see if they can find out what causes the problem, but they don't know. She's had many injections and various prescription drugs and on some days she can't manage. Luckily, she seems to be doing fine lately. In your position, I can completely see why you're angry. This is totally natural. We get angry at things that are beyond are control, especially when it hurts our loved ones, as we hate to see them in pain. You're right, this isn't fair. No-one deserves to be in so much pain, but we have to live through this, and push forward together so that you can enjoy your life, and make the most of it. In these cases, as the doctors said, if they don't know what's causing the problem, there isn't much they can do besides give him lots of medication. It is a pain to see a family member in this state, but there is not a lot you can do. Your dad is not in the best condition, but you have to understand that this is not your fault. You can't blame yourself for this, it would have happened regardless of any action you could have taken. It's natural for them to say how sorry they are, because they're in pain and they know it affects you too. Take that as a compliment that your dad really cares about you and that he really loves you. I know you want to cry, and if you have all that tension and feelings built up, it's okay to release it. However you have to comprehend yourself and get it together. You can't do anything about this, and you can't let this get you down so much. It is really sad to see someone like this, and it's only worse when they are someone you love so much. But if you let this affect you that much, you will be constantly sad and feeling down. However bad your dad might feel you have to try and make yourself feel better. Just think, it's what your dad would want. He would want you to be happy and enjoy yourself rather than just think about how bad he has it. Sadly no-one can say whether or not he will be alright. We have hope, and it is hope that will help us get through these dark times. But for hope to prevail, you need to put some effort into trying to make yourself feel better, because once you do, your dad will see this happiness and it will make him happier too. I hope that I have helped, and if you need to talk, feel free to PM me any time or reply back here. That actually helped me so much. It's just really hard and I'm glad even a stranger can be understanding and say things to help make me feel better. Thank you. -- Posted by Micus at 12:02 pm on May 30, 2008 They shouldn't have just stopped his medication like that. Especially if he was on a narcotic regimen... that's dangerous. -- Posted by bangalore at 12:07 pm on May 30, 2008 Quote: from Micus at 12:02 pm on May 30, 2008 They shouldn't have just stopped his medication like that. Especially if he was on a narcotic regimen... that's dangerous. I know, it's really weird. What could happen to him? -- Posted by marshmellowman at 12:16 pm on May 30, 2008 Quote: from Micus at 8:02 pm on May 30, 2008 They shouldn't have just stopped his medication like that. Especially if he was on a narcotic regimen... that's dangerous. I do agree, I should have probably addressed this in my first post. I don't understand why they would stop it. I asked my dad, who's an anaesthetist (he deals a lot with drugs and pain management) and he said that especially with something like oxy that you can form a dependancy on, it should never be taken away suddenly, just a slow decrease in the amount taken to prevent withdrawal symptoms from arising. That said, he did say that for people who take it daily, it can decrease in effectiveness which is why a doctor might want to then put him on some sort of other medication to manage the pains. My mum was on 250mg of codeine a day for a while, and that is a similar substance, again she couldn't stop taking that suddenly either. I'd urge you to contact your doctor and find out why they took him off, maybe your dad knows and he just doesn't want to worry or scare you. My dad said that for people with chronic nervous system pain, that they can be on pain killers possible for the rest of their life, which is why it needs to be managed carefully. You didn't exactly say what sort of chronic pain it was, so this is may not apply at all. -- Posted by bangalore at 12:26 pm on May 30, 2008 Quote: from marshmellowman at 12:16 pm on May 30, 2008 Quote: from Micus at 8:02 pm on May 30, 2008 They shouldn't have just stopped his medication like that. Especially if he was on a narcotic regimen... that's dangerous. I do agree, I should have probably addressed this in my first post. I don't understand why they would stop it. I asked my dad, who's an anaesthetist (he deals a lot with drugs and pain management) and he said that especially with something like oxy that you can form a dependancy on, it should never be taken away suddenly, just a slow decrease in the amount taken to prevent withdrawal symptoms from arising. That said, he did say that for people who take it daily, it can decrease in effectiveness which is why a doctor might want to then put him on some sort of other medication to manage the pains. My mum was on 250mg of codeine a day for a while, and that is a similar substance, again she couldn't stop taking that suddenly either. I'd urge you to contact your doctor and find out why they took him off, maybe your dad knows and he just doesn't want to worry or scare you. My dad said that for people with chronic nervous system pain, that they can be on pain killers possible for the rest of their life, which is why it needs to be managed carefully. You didn't exactly say what sort of chronic pain it was, so this is may not apply at all. He has had numerous back surgeries because the disks in his back are basically crumbling. He a metal rod in there and from the surgeries he has also developed horrendous leg pain. Pinched nerve I think? But when they look in his back there is so much scar tissue and mess they say they can't do anything. They tried before and it was the same. Do you think my dad could end up in the hospital? -- Posted by marshmellowman at 12:35 pm on May 30, 2008 It's very hard to say. How has his condition been so far? Is it just getting worse and worse or is it stable? I can't really speculate as I don't know enough about your dad's condition, nor am I a doctor. If his condition is deteriorating it is possible that he might have to be hospitalised, but don't think much of this. Don't let this get you down. This is the absolute worst case scenario and I doubt it would get this far. Just be hopeful about your dad and try to help him throughout normal daily things. Scar tissue doesn't necessarily mean it's all gone wrong or it's all bad, it just means they've operated there quite a bit. In any case I don't want to alarm you. The best person to talk about this is your dad and his doctor. Find out why they took him off the medication and ask him how he's feeling. Talk to him about it and just make sure he's feeling okay. Like I said before, you should make sure that you're feeling good too. Whilst your dad might be in pain, don't think about it all the time, it's good to get your mind off things. Just play a game, or watch some TV. Even some father-daughter bonding activities can help make you both feel better.