-- Posted by Ice Cube at 2:14 pm on June 18, 2008 this really sorta sucks. i cant believe she would actually do everything that she knew would hurt me, emasculinate me entirely, marginalize my physical/mental/environ. prowess to some mediocre lamer, apologize endlessly for a situation that I helped artificially create, and then suggest who i should talk to more to rectify the situation; especially being that it was someone I would have naturally settled for. so its like she's also giving me options/instructions. how humiliating is that. but you arent smart enough to manipulate any situation. i did. remember that time you told me about your bf and i suggested the day after that i'd give you instructions to discard me. its a subconscious mind game i played with the both of us to create a scenario where i take a hit. i wanted you to take what he did out on me, and in return, i was excited by the idea of fooling myself, coz bad things just dont happen to me as much as it naturally does to you coz you're a susceptible, spoiled retard. i guess i got what i asked for. it just feels worse than i anticipated. its intellectually amusing, but watever... i dont want to feel this way anymore. -- Posted by Ezmi at 2:16 pm on June 18, 2008 Lmao jus vent babe... =) -- Posted by Ice Cube at 2:17 pm on June 18, 2008 Quote: from Ezmi at 2:16 pm on June 18, 2008 Lmao jus vent babe... =) will u be there for me -- Posted by razorblade at 2:19 pm on June 18, 2008 i totally do not get what you wrote but if it helps *hugs* -- Posted by Ice Cube at 2:22 pm on June 18, 2008 even now i srrsly have to restrain myself from calling her but thats exactly what i conditioned her not to want after she discarded. im either helping her along further or i actually became emotionally attached myself. its probably a combination of both. its hard to spend that much time with someone and not be fond of them and stuff. but i promised to never bother her again... idk. -- Posted by Ice Cube at 2:30 pm on June 18, 2008 like... im at work right now and i srrsly want to call her just to hear her say "hello?" in that voice of hers i have stuck in my head. but that would just boost her ego more and i srssly have no intention of helping her at this point. i just did what i thought was best for her......... -- Posted by Ice Cube at 6:59 pm on June 18, 2008 so hey, person. i hope you're reading this. let me mention like all the reasons why you have have wanted to stop talking to me and let me address them. intentional submissiveness (above): i got the point across and i just thought it would be a nice thing for you to feel. i dont care to be hurt anymore and you got the gist of it, so if you gave me another chance, id be myself. dad stuff: im in no way the same as he is, and theres lots about him that i havent told. it isnt a fair judgment to assume that because hes a womanizer or wutever that i also am. which brings me to my next point, trust issues: ive told you lots of times that im actually extremely loyal/faithful in people i care for. and thats still true.. both statement above are. nudes i acquired while we talked: its purely for amusement. if i knew it bothered you, or if it did at all, and you told me, i would've stopped, no questions asked. i really did respect and value your opinion and i wouldn't have done anything to go against what you tell me if its valid. online affiliation: its SOOO easy to bridge. talking to XXXX: i made it much more clear than you ever did that talking to others meant nothing to me, whereas you blurred the line and never expressed anything in my direction, even though i suspect you LUVBED me in the course of the 5 months and really cared for me. im fug?!??!: grrr thats not even true, lots of things about me didnt come out and im doing something weird. i like how i look and so would you. arrogance/ego/narcissism: comes with the territory. w/e, im not going to call you again, because i dont want to bother you and i promised you i wont, so please call me sometime, hopefully soon and tell me wat do did during your day and ill tell you about mine and shit and just not care about this. i know you miss me so the sooner you want to call, the better for me. i miss talking to you also. ill pick up even if im at a meeting. lol thanks for reading this, person. -- Posted by Ice Cube at 7:03 pm on June 18, 2008 lol omfg i need to fucking move on jajaj   -- Posted by Ice Cube at 9:27 am on June 19, 2008 jaa another day of not talking. its sort of hard to go from talking every single day, expecting and being expected to call every couple days to just flat out bullshit. i know you LUB me and ur attached to me and miss me. coz i miss you. i deleted everything you ever gave me and all pics and recordings a couple days ago coz i thought it would help. anyway, the password to OUR account is still the same. and i saw on ur mj account that im still on ur friends list. why cant we still be friends, person. i still miss you and shit and really wunt to talk to you. cant we just forget abot this. -- Posted by Natsy at 9:41 am on June 19, 2008 don't call!!! -- Posted by Ice Cube at 12:11 pm on June 19, 2008 Quote: from Natsy at 9:41 am on June 19, 2008 don't call!!! who the fak are you -- Posted by Ice Cube at 12:12 pm on June 19, 2008 oh ya and its not a nice thing to do:( we were succhhhh good friends call me