-- Posted by Kkkkaseey at 12:45 pm on June 19, 2008 Of course i'm young, of course i'm unexperienced in a lot of things, but i'm old enough to understand most things. Nobody understands what i've been through, nobody has the right to tell 'how' things are. I mean, if you haven't stood a day in my shoes, then you have no right to say anything about it. I'm a young teen who has suffered pain, rejection, abandonment. Of course I have a father and a mother, but you'll know why my parents are really my parents as you continue to read. I've learned to face reality at a young age, i've learned to understand things that some people my age has never had to learn. I've experienced most things that teens my age has never or will never experience. It's not that they are better than me, they just have stability and support. Moving on.. Once I was able to realize things and understand things better is when my life started to go downhill. I had a little help though. Even though, I was extremely young, I remember most of this very well. I lived with my mother and my father, I was just about 3 years old. My brother Bret lived there too. My mother ended up being placed in Jail for years and my father didn't want to take responsibilty of my brother because Bret, he's not my fathers real son. So, my great grandmother stepped in and sent him off to boarding school in chicago. He was there for several years until.. My mother got out of jail. My mother, my father, I all lived in my uncles trailer. My uncle was actually in jail at that time. Once my mother got out of jail, Bret and my mother started talking daily. My brother started to get emotional and sad because he missed everyone back in delaware. All his friends and his family so he started to beg my mother to bring him home. My mother, of course, gave in. He was on his way back home quick. Once my brother was back in his home state, he stayed with us in the trailer. The first night he was back, I was so excited and asked him so many questions, although, I was just a small toddler the last time I was in his view. So I barely 'knew' him. But anyways, the next morning, my brother woke up with everyone else and he had noticed his money was gone. The money he had worked and earned. He was so upset. It had just vanished. My mother felt bad because she was the one who took it, so she fessed up and told him that it was her that took it and she was sorry. Which she really wasn't sorry, but it sounded good at the time. Bret didn't understand why she took it, he always wondered. A few years down the road came along and we had moved into a new neighborhood. We lived in a townhouse in a nice italian city. It was lovely. My brother finally sat down and talked to me. My brother told me that my parents were on drugs, that's why they always act weird, and that's why my mother always stealed things. I didn't want to believe it because they always told me to not do drugs or anything. I mean.. why would they tell me something if they did it themselves and continued to do it? I don't understand it. Anyways, I still didn't believe my brother. Although, one night, I had met a friend a park, and I spent the night over this chicks house that night and the next morning when I went home, I tried to get into the door and the door was locked, but people were home. I finally knocked on the door and I could hear my mom say " WHO IS IT? " and I told them who it was and she was like. " ONE SEC " and she finally opened the door. My dad was laying there on the couch with a pillion against his knees while he coughed and twictched. My mom was sitting there on the couch, with a spoon in her hand looking at herself in it. I yelled, " IS THIS WHAT YOU GUYS DO ALL DAY. I knew I should have believed bret, I just didn't want to. " I ran to my room and cried my eyes out. Nobody came after me either. So, from then on, my parents continued to drugs, but they had enough nuts to start doing it right in front of my face. Cocaine = bad. Anyways. My mom was in and out of jail or she just wasn't home. She'd take off for months at a time and come home like it was nothing. My dad was always there, no matter what. He worked everyday to keep up with the rent so I would have a place to be. My brother got fed up of being there, so once he turned 16 he moved out and lived with a friend. I wanted to do that, but I couldn't. It got bad because my uncle came from flordia and started to live with us. He also did drugs. So, my house was one big party house. My dad started to get low on work, or he just didn't go because he wanted to sleep cause he stayed up all night the previous night. We had to start stealing food from grocrey stores to be abe to eat, we had to steal clothes so that we would have clothes on, we had to steal electric because it always got turned off. But the things is, my parents started to steal drugs. They would go to the person, wheel and deal, and then give them a dollar bill and just take off with the drugs. It started to become a problem because the drug dealers started to get pissed off. They found out wherre we lived and started bothering us. One day, I walked into my house, and there were 5 random people sitting on my couch eatting Mcdonalds. I thought, well, my parents have to be here, if they are here. So I walked back towards my room and I saw a guy trashing my room, and he looked at me and said " WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU F`ING PARENTS? " I said, " My mom is never here, my dad just took a ride somewhere I haven't talked to him though. " and he goes.. " I SHOULD TAKE YOU WITH ME UNTIL THEY COME BACK. ".. I'm like. " I'd rather not. " And I start to run. I run out my front door, and wrong down the street to where I last seen my brother. My brother was at a park with a few friends and I told him what was going on. We didn't even go back to the house that night. I stayed with my brother and his friend and his mom. I actually stayed there for almost a year because I was to scared to be home with my parents. We finally got kicked out of that house though because my dad couldn't keep up with the rent. So we moved into my dads friends house. It was okay for awhile until my mom came back home and moved in. My dads friend and her got into a big fight and the guy knocked her out, so we left there. Finally, when my dad started working again, the guy who he worked for had a house that he had for rent so my dad took it. When we took it we moved in. The whole drug thing got worse, I started drinking, I started staying out all night, I started having sex, I started getting suspended from school, I started fighting. I had to realease my anger some way, and thats how I did it. We were there for about 2 years I guess, it was lovely. But then, everything hit rock bottom. My dad lost his job, we lost the house, we lost the truck we lost everything. So, we had nowhere else to turn to. We started staying in motels. We jumped alot but it started to become a problem because we didnt have any money. So, my uncle started stealing harely davinson leather jackets and started selling it to some pegin leader so we would have money for the room, some food, and of course for them to have drugs. My uncle also stole movies, like dvds and sold them to people. He stole thounsands. But he finally got caught. So it was me and my dad left and we had nothing else to turn to. We started living in a illegal truck during the winter. It was freezing. No where to go. But the.. finally.. my dad got arrested because he didnt pay his fine. He was only in jail for a day.. but I was fed up with it. I took some offer. My dads friends ex wife said that she'd take me under her wing. Which is where I am now. I've been here for almost 2 years. I don't like it here either, my guardian drinks every single night, i'm her maid and her slave and.. she complains about money. So I just got my first job. I don't have transportation so I have to walk back and fourth 15 miles. She says she loves me and shes so happy that she has me, but thats just because she's just a damn drunk. She has a good job though, at the hospital. But she drinks so much that she's emotional. and verbally abuses me etc. I'm just her maid & slave. I don't know why life is so bad for me. I just want to be out on my on, i'm ready for it. Theres much more that I haven't included into this, but this is enough. I typed too much. But yeah.. I just need my own life. -- Posted by californication at 12:46 pm on June 19, 2008 Giant wall of text *run* If you make it shorter I will reply though. -- Posted by xcaseyilmx at 12:48 pm on June 19, 2008 uhm..i dont think anyone can help you dear...their eyes will be paralyzed before they get to comment =] -- Posted by tearsinheaven at 12:48 pm on June 19, 2008 i quit reading after the first couple paragraphs. TOO LONG, TOO WHINY!! from what i got out of that, you think you have it the worst of everyone. well...pretty sure every troubled teen thinks that. -- Posted by hubert cumberdale at 12:49 pm on June 19, 2008 i quit reading after the first word. shorten please? -- Posted by Kkkkaseey at 12:50 pm on June 19, 2008 Quote: from tearsinheaven at 12:48 pm on June 19, 2008 i quit reading after the first couple paragraphs. TOO LONG, TOO WHINY!! from what i got out of that, you think you have it the worst of everyone. well...pretty sure every troubled teen thinks that. You don't understand though. =| I don't think I have it worse. I just have a bad life.. Unlike most people. Nobody knows. -- Posted by katzkitten at 12:50 pm on June 19, 2008 Too long for anyone to be bother reading:) Nice for you to be grown up though. and your mum must have done something pretty bad to go to jail :S Thats the point i got bored of reading :) -- Posted by Queen Victoria II at 12:53 pm on June 19, 2008 I am so glad I found someone in a similar situation as me. My parents were drug addicts. They were mostly on crack/cocaine, but they tried weed, meth, etc. They would stay up all night and not come home. They slept, slept, and slept. I lived in the dirtiest crack house, and having O.C.D. did not help at all! I had to walk up the street with my little sister and buy her food. (I saved money in a piggy bank for years.) They dealt and were arrested for various charges, including child endangerment. My house was condemned, and I lost all of my possessions. I have been with my grandmother for two years. My home was a physical and emotional abusive place. My brother is in a boot camp now... If you want to know more, view topics I have made or PM me. Overall, things have gotten better. My mom is still in jail, but my dad went to rehab. He has his own house, and by the end of the summer, I will have moved in. My mom is going to get help soon as well. Hang in there! Things will get better. -- Posted by mousiegurl27 at 12:53 pm on June 19, 2008 Wow hun... if u want to talk u can pm me.. Ill listen and talk with you.. Im so sorry.. *hugs* -- Posted by LindaRains93 at 12:57 pm on June 19, 2008 hey pm me alright? so i can talk to u better, ur text is a little big sweet heart so can u exsplain to me in mail? my name is LindaRains93 pm me girl -- Posted by Queen Victoria II at 12:59 pm on June 19, 2008 Quote: from Kkkkaseey at 3:50 pm on June 19, 2008 Quote: from tearsinheaven at 12:48 pm on June 19, 2008 i quit reading after the first couple paragraphs. TOO LONG, TOO WHINY!! from what i got out of that, you think you have it the worst of everyone. well...pretty sure every troubled teen thinks that. You don't understand though. =| I don't think I have it worse. I just have a bad life.. Unlike most people. Nobody knows. Girl, I have been there, too. I became a laughing stock when people read in the newspapers what happened.  Kids made fun of me for my parents' mistakes. Even then, hardly anyone knows what I've seen and experienced. Just remember... as much as it may not feel like it now... you learn.  You grow from hard times. Never put your children through the same things.  Teach them the consequences of using. -- Posted by Queen Victoria II at 1:05 pm on June 19, 2008 Quote: from tearsinheaven at 3:48 pm on June 19, 2008 i quit reading after the first couple paragraphs. TOO LONG, TOO WHINY!! from what i got out of that, you think you have it the worst of everyone. well...pretty sure every troubled teen thinks that. If you actually read the entire thing, she has a reason to complain. Teens take for granted their good lives.  They don't realize their overprotective parents are better than ones who don't care at all.  They go shopping and such and forget several kids cannot afford half of what they own.