-- Posted by Anonymous at 1:38 pm on June 21, 2008 So a couple of months ago my friend told me she purged her food, but not every day (not that I believe that but still). We were really drunk, so since then I've pretended I didn't remember, and she obviously hasn't brought it up. She doesn't look like she's bulimic, and she's by no means at all overweight. Her body is curvy, looks hot in clothes, everything - but she still thinks she needs to lose weight. She always says things like "guys only like girls who are little and skinny and that they can pick up easily". Almost everything she talks about is weight and appearance, and a lot of the time judges other people and calls them "fat" or "they're getting really chunky". If she didn't have this problem she wouldn't be saying these mean things about other people. Anyways, what I need help is that every time she talks about being skinny I get really furious, and I think it's because I feel like I can't do anything about it. A lot of the times when I'm at her house she'll say she's going to the bathroom and be there for literally 20 minutes. I hear her swishing mouth wash around sometimes, and even gagging. I don't know what to do. She locks the door, and I know if I confronted her it would extremely awkward, and I'm terrible at handling awkward situations. What should I do? Our whole group of friends know because it's pretty obvious, but we all don't know what to do. Why do I feel that fury towards her? Is there anything we can say? And we can't tell her mom, she's one of the reasons why. Fuck this is long, sorry. -- Posted by Natsy at 1:41 pm on June 21, 2008 just be there for her, you can't force her to change xx -- Posted by annihilate me at 1:41 pm on June 21, 2008 Confront her is the only way to do it. -- Posted by vicky91 at 1:42 pm on June 21, 2008 keep saying to her like eughh too skinny people look horrible and stuff. compliment her a lot i really dont no what else to tell because if she doesnt want the help and you try to help she will pull more and more away from you. im sick of people telling me to eat which is why im glad to be in at times because you get away with not eating anything. pm me if you wanna talk x -- Posted by PAOlivia at 1:58 pm on June 21, 2008 be there for her and get her help she has disease -- Posted by PinkLotus at 1:58 pm on June 21, 2008 Ask her how she would feel without teeth. Constant purging leaves acid on the teeth, deteriorating them and in the end, they need to be removed. Also, it causes the throat's lining to be damaged, so she may cause holes. -- Posted by Anonymous at 1:59 pm on June 21, 2008 Quote: from vicky91 at 1:42 pm on June 21, 2008 keep saying to her like eughh too skinny people look horrible and stuff. compliment her a lot i really dont no what else to tell because if she doesnt want the help and you try to help she will pull more and more away from you. Yeah, a lot of the times she'll point out a model in a magazine and say "she looks sooo beautiful" and most of the time they're the ones who look like death. We always say "ew, no" And yea, that's why it sucks. If we call her on it, she'll just push us away. It's shitty Thanks for the fast replies -- Posted by ajakana at 2:08 pm on June 21, 2008 I'm skinny and hate it she shouldent be acting like that you need to sit her down and yell at her tell her shed pretty in all the clothes she wears and if she was skinny she would look horrible I think your a good friend and she needs to get a grip on herself its making you mad because she's not even thinking about her friends date the damn girls geez she needs help I don't like my skinny ass self and people always tell me to eat more or you need to gain weight and no guys don't like skinny girls just because they can pick us up doesn't mean they like us more she's got a wrong mind to think like that guys perfer girls like her with curves I wish I had some take her around a very skinny person and ask her do you really want to look like that? Do you really think she doesn't get teased you must be crazy being skinny is not sexy at all I hate being skinny but once I have a baby ill be happy as shit the only reason I can't gain weight is because I have anemia from losing a baby but to those who are skinny and want to gain weight trust me you have to eat 3meals a day and only one snack 5meals is actually gonna make you lose weight breakfeast,lunch,and dinner is good plus a good nites sleep and a snack before bed works also exercise 2times outta the week and next week just play an activity outside that's how I gained weight before and I'm gonna do it again pm me if anybody wants help on how to gain weight I know where you come from and to your friend make her feel sexy while she's curvy keep telling her nice things and tell her you like her body shell eventually stop and listen to you tell her she doesn't wanna become an anorexic cause that's a disease and they'll put her in a hospital to gain weight back so tell he shed better accept how god made her and stop acting like a big baby -- Posted by Princess o palities at 3:18 pm on June 21, 2008 First I wouldn't do anything that could be taken negatively by her like telling her the consequences of purges. If you scare her she will just pull away and she will believe that you are wrong and what she believes is right. To open up the conversation see if there is a way you could bring up the previous discussion when she said that she purged her food. I know it will be awkward but try to get past the awkwardness and focus on finding out the truth and talking to her. In general she might have a low self esteem so try to encourage her, Reassure her that she is not fat. Also add in others positive things about her for example if she is smart or really any good qualities that she may have so that she can turn her focus away from her body image. If she doesn't open up just be there for her. Try not to get furious with her. It probably comes from you being her friend and that you know she is hurting herself. You can't make her change but maybe after a while she will talk about it and be interested in getting help. -- Posted by jda at 5:48 pm on June 21, 2008 if she didn't have this problem she probably would still be saying mean things about other people. just because you have an eating disorder it doesn't make you judgemental or nasty towards the way other people act or look. also how does someone look bulimic? bulimics are usually of a normal weight, or overweight. that's why bulimia is such a hard disease to detect.