I mentioned at some point that I might write this, and a few people seemed interested, so here we go. It's a common question, and something many people need to know more about. Perhaps it's worth a sticky, but I think I'll leave that up to the powers that be. How to Use a Male Condom, by Luna Santin
The male condom is very popular, in today's world; it is also somewhat unique, because it is both a contraceptive (method of preventing conception, or pregnancy), and prevents the spread of STIs (sexually transmitted infections). It is theoretically over ninety-seven percent effective, but in practice, is only about eighty-five percent effective, on average. Why? Because the majority of people do not use male condoms correctly.
To that end, I've decided to compose this guide, based off of a number of lectures, demonstrations, brochures, papers, and websites I've been privy to. Proper education about sexual issues and protective measures is a must, in our society, and especially in this age of HIV and other STIs. Teens should have a chance to live, learn, and build themselves up financially before being burdened with children, and no person should live at risk of STIs. We should always remember that uneducated teens become uneducated adults. Only with knowledge about sex can we, as individuals, make proper choices about our own lives.
So.
These are the steps of proper male condom use:
1. Make sure you have one. If you don't have a condom, you can't use it – it's as simple as that. So make sure that you have a condom, before you're going to need it, and certainly before you're in the heat of the moment. It's far better to have one and not need it, than to need one and not have it. Take responsibility for yourself, your partner, and even the child you might be creating, if you have sex without contraception. Get a condom.
2. Store the condom properly. Condoms are best kept at room temperature, where the package will not be stretched or torn. This means no wallets, glove boxes, or refrigerators. Find a place where you'll be able to get to it quickly; that can mean you keep it in a purse, in a jacket pocket, wherever. Just be aware that the fewer temperature extremes and stretches it's exposed to, the better. If you do decide to keep one in your pocket or wallet, make sure it's a fresh one.
3. Talk to your partner. How many partners have you had? Have you ever been tested for STIs? Have you been tested in the past six months? Have you ever engaged in any risky behavior? What contraceptive method(s) will we be using? These are very important questions, and if you don't get them answered, you're probably not having safe sex.
4. Verbal consent. Make sure that both you and your partner want to have sex. If getting consent ruins the moment for you, then you're probably not mature enough to be having sex, yet – be responsible, remember? Sex should always be safe, consensual, and fun. Both people should be comfortable with what you're doing before, during, and after sex. Discuss your boundaries with each other; what are they?
5. Check the expiration date. This is simple enough. An expired condom is better than no condom, but if you're a mature adult who's ready for the responsibilities of sex, that shouldn't be a problem, should it? The expiration date should be printed on the condom package, usually on the back.
6. The Pillow Test. Take the condom package between two fingers, and squeeze it a few times to see if air will leak out of the package. Pay close attention, because this is important. If the package has been punctured or torn, get another condom.
7. Open the wrapper. This is a step many people overlook, but you shouldn't do that. Always open a package carefully, because if you don't, you risk tearing or stretching the condom. Do not use your teeth. Always use two hands – hold the package in one hand, and carefully peel the package open, starting from a corner.
8. Take out the condom. Again, be careful – do not rip or stretch the condom.
9. Put the condom on. This is a bit of a complicated step. If you can, try to practice beforehand.
If you have difficulty putting a condom on the penis, do not flip it over and try again. Once the condom contacts the penis, it may have sperm on it, and flipping it around would put sperm on the wrong side. Bad idea.
Take the condom and place it over your finger. Let it hang down, like a hat. If the condom rolls inward, so that it looks like a beanie, you have it wrong. If the condom rolls outward, so that it looks like a sombrero, that's how you want it to go onto the penis. Remember: sombrero, you want the rolls facing out.
Add some water-based lubricant. Try one drop on the outside, and one on the inside. This will increase sensation for the both of you. Lubricant will change your life. Do not use oil-based lubricant, because it will interact negatively with the latex material most condoms are made of. Remember: water-based lube is your friend.
Unroll the condom slightly. Not all the way, only about a quarter-inch at the most (half a centimeter, roughly). This is to make room for the semen. If there is no room for the semen, the condom may tear during ejaculation. This is bad. Remember: unroll the condom slightly.
Pinch the tip. Before you put on the condom, pinch the tip. Not daintily, but actually pretty hard; your goal is to keep all air out of the tip. Air in the tip can cause the condom to slide (bad), and the air can be pushed out by semen during ejaculation, creating a gap between condom and penis (bad). Continue to pinch, as you put on the condom. Your goal is to keep all air out of the condom's tip.
“Pinch and roll.” Put the condom onto the head of the penis, while still pinching the tip. Leave some space at the end of the condom (this is where the semen goes), but do not leave air in that space. With your other hand, slowly unroll the condom so that it covers the shaft of the penis. Remember: use two hands, you want space at the end of the condom, but no air in it.
A quick recap of this step:
-Do not flip over the condom, once it touches the penis.
-Rolls on the outside. Everybody likes a sombrero.
-Water-based lubricant will change your life.
-Unroll the condom slightly.
-Pinch the tip. No air in the tip.
-Pinch and roll. Use two hands.
10. Intercourse. Whee!
11. Withdrawal. Immediately after ejaculation, grip tightly around the bottom of the condom (at the base of the shaft), and pull out. Why do you hold the condom? Because if you don't, you risk having it slip off, and that's all bad. Do not allow the penis to stay inside the vagina for very long, either, or you risk semen leaking around its edges as the penis softens. So remember: hold the condom as you pull out.
12. Disposal. Tie the base of the condom in a knot, and throw it in the trash. Do not flush your condom down the toilet.
13. Other issues.
What happens if my condom breaks? Stop immediately, remove it, and get another condom.
Should I use more than one condom? No, never use more than one condom. Doing so can increase friction, which means you'll have an increased chance of condom failure.
How many times should I use a condom? One time, and every time!
What types of condoms should I buy? Reliable condoms are made of latex. If you find that you're allergic to latex (you'll notice), then use polyurethane condoms, which are thinner, stronger, and better, anyway (the only drawback is that they're more expensive). Do not use flavored condoms for intercourse. Use reliable brands, like Trojan, Durex, Lifestyles, et cetera.
Should I use water-based lubricant? Yes!
Should I research on my contraceptive choices? Of course! Contraception and STI prevention are of the utmost importance, in today's world. The Planned Parenthood website is an excellent place to start, but don't stop there – information is all around you, you just have to look for it. Local drug stores, pharmacies, and clinics should be able to tell you more, or point you in the right directions, if you need help. The more educated you are, the better decisions you can make for yourself.
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Make love, not traffic.